Family Therapy
by Vicki1
Summary: The Sohma family psychiatrist must deal with tackling the cursed family's problems...SPOILERS for those who have not read all of the manga!
1. Prologue, Akito Sohma Session 211

Well, the story concept for this started out way differently than it has turned out. Originally, the psychiatrist was going to be a female, but as I started writing it, I realized that this had to be changed, since it would be very unlikely that Akito would allow the rest of the jyuunishi meet with another woman. Therefore, the psychiatrist became a man and turned out to be Kazuki, a character I've really grown fond of (I guess since I write him in first person, I've grown rather attached). What's more, in my mind, I had planned for it to be just a humorous parody or sorts, but it kind of turned out to be something else. I think some of it's comical, still, but there's a more serious tone than I originally intended, and more character analysis, which turned out to be interesting to write formed. Oddly, Akito, who I hated when I first began writing, has really grown on me and now I like her a lot despite all her craziness (go figure, hey?).

As for my source material, I have seen all of the Fruits Basket series and have read part of the manga, as well as researched on some of the characters' history. Therefore, the story is kind of a blend of that information and is, hopefully, accurate (I guess I should mention, though, that I'm sure _Frasier_ had some influence on this, as I tend to watch it a lot). If something is not correct, just think of it as literary license. FYI, as in the manga, in this story Akito is a girl, Kyou's fate after graduation is known by the rest of the Sohma family, and Shigure and Akito did have their relationship.

In addition, at this time, I don't think Kureno or Rin will have sessions (although will be mentioned, particularly Kureno for obvious reasons), since I don't feel entirely comfortable writing their characters yet, and I doubt I'll do much with Kisa or Hiro (but that's more so a personal preference, as I don't find them too interesting and I don't feel they'd fit in quite right).Characters outside the Sohma family also become difficult to insert, for obvious reasons, but I'm sure Tohru will definitely make an appearance.

It's important to note, too, that there is discussion of Christianity in this, and I hope the way I use it does not offend. Please keep in mind that Akito's interpretations are meant to be wrong and unsettling, though, and in no way does that mean I endorse such a view; in fact, I myself am a Christian and feel very strongly about my faith. I am just trying to be true to the characters.

Anyhow, I really hope you all enjoy this, because I've really like writing it. As for my disclaimer, I don't own Fruits Basket - the only thing I own is Kazuki, his mother, Tomiko, and any other minor characters that might show up. Let me know what you think!

Lastly, I combined the prologue and the first session into one chapter; in the future, most likely I'll separate all the sessions into individual chapters.

_

* * *

Prologue_

I know who truly bears the burden of the Sohma family curse. It is not one of the jyuunishi, the twelve whom have been cursed by the vengeful animal spirits of the zodiac. It is not their families either, as miserable as they might be. Nor is it Kyou, the young man cursed with the most vengeful spirit of all, the cat, who in the legend was left out due to the sneaky rat. And it certainly isn't Akito - God no, it isn't that one.

It is I who really bears the true weight of this family's curse. I am quite serious about this, too. Or at least, I've convinced myself of it anyway. Perhaps I'm being a bit melodramatic, but the mind works in funny ways (I should know, after all).

I was born a little over twenty six years ago in December. Admittedly, the circumstances surrounding my birth are a bit shady at best; I was born out of wedlock. From what I gather from my loopy, although quite good-intentioned, mother, my father was an American (or Englishman or Australian; she doesn't actually remember as she doesn't think it was that important) visiting Japan on a short business trip. Evidently, they had a _very_ brief affair (it's important to note that his visit was barely three days) and from the whole sinful ordeal, I was conceived.

Before I continue, let me explain something about my mother; you see, she has these "visions." I believe they might stem from her need to justify the often impulsive actions she takes in order to fulfill her whimsical desires, thus easing her guilt for acting out on her physical wants without regards to morality or consequences. In any case, according to her, these "visions" are prophetic, although she says she can't always interpret them correctly, hence rationalizing why they often seem to turn out to be less than accurate.

Returning then to the circumstances surrounding my conception, the family was very upset that my mother had shamed the Sohma name by having some lowly fling with a foreigner and the head of the family initially wanted the pregnancy terminated. If only such things had come to pass, but unfortunately my mother saved me from my merciful fate by explaining that the reason for her seemingly immoral liaison was that she had received one of her "visions" (from who or what remains a mystery), which foretold that she would eventually give birth to the child who would one day grow up to save the Sohma family. Yet, in order to do so (according to the "vision," anyhow), she had to make love with the strange foreigner first, thus becoming pregnant and fulfilling her "vision."

Although I suppose I'm rather cynical and skeptical about the whole thing, I must admit I really do appreciate my mother's ridiculous but loving attempt to spare my life. It worked, too, which is the truly surprising part about all this. Of course, most of the family was and still is just as cynical and skeptical about it as I am, but it seems as if the head of the Sohma clan felt some sort of pity for my mother. Hence, I was born the humiliating illegitimate bastard of the Sohma family and my mother's reputation was forever ruined as she became known as the family's resident "crazy." Despite this, my mother clung to her "vision" and named me Kazuki, which carried three meanings, all which she found exceedingly significant and appropriate. The first was "shining one," for I was, as she saw it, the special one chosen to save the long suffering Sohma family. The second meaning was "first of a new generation," since I would be beginning a new generation of Sohmas, one which was no longer cursed. The last one was "pleasant peace," which I would be bringing to the whole family by saving them. As I think about it now, I find my name sickeningly ironic and all together meaningless.

Fortunately for me, my status in my family didn't remain so lowly and disgraceful as it started it out to be. The reason for this was simple; although born without a father, I was not, thankfully, born without his brains, for I doubt that my intelligence came from my mother. It was soon discovered what a quick learner I was, and I excelled greatly in school, to the point where I far surpassed my peers. Yet, despite my exceptional intelligence, I suppose I lacked common sense, and was a very idealistic and naïve child. As a young boy, my mother told me about the "vision" she had of me and of my destiny, and, as a result of my aforementioned idealism and naivety, I quickly believed that I _could - _somehow, someway – save my cursed family.

At age sixteen, over ten years ago, I made the best decision of my life; I left Japan to study abroad. Although having grown up some by that time, I still subconsciously clung to the hope that my mother gave me when I was a child – that I could free my family of it's terrible curse – and I came to the conclusion that the way I would do so was by acquiring as much knowledge and wisdom as possible. Those eight years were the greatest time I ever knew. I studied at both Oxford and Harvard. During my breaks, I traveled wherever I could (fortunately, us Sohmas aren't cursed when it comes to finances), whether it be in the Americas, Europe, Asia, and even North Africa. I encountered so many new ideas, cultures, and people; it truly was a refreshing and enlightening experience. Best of all, I was away from my miserable, suffering family.

It didn't take long for me to have my own revelation as I embraced my studies, although it didn't stem from some mysterious "vision," as my mother's revelations tended to do. Instead, reason, so pure and logical, was where my revelation came from. Simply put, I became very skeptical about our family's supposed curse, or at least parts of it. Sure, there was no denying people were turning into animals, as unscientific and impossible as it was. But the suffering of our family members – their tragic lives, which supposedly came from the curse as well – that was the part that I became doubtful of. Surely, a person couldn't truly lose his free will or be denied the opportunity to pursue happiness. In England and America I was pretty much suffocated with notions of independent thought and liberties, individuality and ambition, all of which a person was said to be born with. What's more, as I began to study more and more, I soon started to see their problems – namely, all their apparently predestined misery - in quite a different and perhaps new light.

And so, this leads me back to my, I admit, rather exaggerated conclusion; that I truly bear the greatest burden of the zodiac curse. And the reason for this is simple – I am the Sohma family's psychiatrist.

Honestly, it seemed like a good idea when I was abroad, it really did. After all, the more I studied psychiatry, the more and more it seemed to apply to my truly disturbed family. I had thought that if I could correctly guide my relatives through their emotional problems by using reason and applying the science of psychiatry, then maybe they could free themselves of all their misery, or at least start to work through it. As a result, they would begin to live happier lives with fresh and positive outlooks. Certainly, if necessary, I could prescribe the proper medication to help fix those chemical imbalances that I was sure some were suffering from. It was such a brilliant notion overseas; through therapy, I could save my family from the true curse – the emotional burden that each and every one of them carried. In essence, I would be their savior for I would teach them how to finally, at last, love and respect themselves and thus, others.

And yet, it didn't take long after returning to Japan and beginning my family practice for me to realize that things would not work out as I had so idealistically thought they would. Simply put, things grew sourer rather quickly. Most of the problems originated from Akito, who had been suspicious to begin with, but participated despite this. Yet, Akito soon rejected most of my "evil" western ways and my practice soon deteriorated into some sort of unorthodox, ridiculous counseling session that for some unknown reason Akito has me continue with. Don't worry; you'll see what I mean soon enough…

_

* * *

Patient - Sohma Akito; Session # 211_

I gazed out the window, trying to occupy myself with the pleasant early autumn weather. The session was growing increasingly stifling, as the uncomfortable silence reached the fifteen minute mark. Akito laid on the couch staring at the ceiling as if in deep thought while I sat at my desk in my comfy leather office chair. I glanced over at her for a moment to make certain she was still awake and then returned to staring out the window. To be honest, I was so tempted to initiate dialogue once more, but Akito made it clear that she would be the only one to begin any sort of conversation during our sessions.

It's a tough thing to deal with when your patient thinks she's a god.

"But Kazuki," Akito said finally, turning her head slowly toward me, "Certainly there's nothing wrong with it, is there?"

"Hmm?" I tried to regain my concentration, but to be honest, I had not a clue as to what she was talking about, "What?"

"You're the one who brought it up!" Akito snapped and she looked at me with perturbed eyes.

It took me a moment, but I finally remembered where I had left the conversation; "Oh, yes…" I trailed off, for I knew I had to handle the question delicately, and then said, "I think, Akito, that you perhaps have expected them to become a bit over-dependent – "

"_They need me!_" Akito interrupted, sitting up and glaring icily at me.

I frowned; I knew I said something wrong. At the same time, I couldn't bring myself to just humor her, so I said, "Now, Akito, perhaps now would be a good time to review some of the anger management exercises we went over last week, hmm?"

Akito gritted her teeth but then fell back against the couch and complied, "Fine."

"Great," I stated with a small, forced smile, and then asked, "So, how do you find they are working for you?"

"I don't know," she muttered, crossing her arms and looking bored, "I haven't really needed to use them."

"Oh, no?" I questioned as innocently as I could.

"Do you think I need them?"

"Well, you did have a bit of a small outburst just now, didn't you?" I knew it was a dangerous question, but at the same time, her voice had just sounded mellower, softer even. At those times, she always seemed so oddly and uncharacteristically receptive.

"Yes, I suppose so," she admitted. "Next time I'll do the stupid counting…"

"That's good, Akito. Very good." I hesitated for a moment, and then added, "And do you remember Akito, when one does something she shouldn't do, what is the most constructive way for her to rectify it?"

I knew immediately I had gone too far. Akito sprang to her feet and pointed a long finger directly at me. "I don't have to apologize to you! Not to you! Gods don't apologize, you insolent fool!" Her breathing became labored and she soon, weak, fell back onto the couch. I could see her then begin to count softly to herself; I didn't bother to tell her that she was supposed to count _before _she got angry and it didn't help after the fact.

So I muttered, "I see…" and began to scribble down some notes to myself.

"What are you writing?" She at once ceased her counting.

"Just some notes."

"About me?" I didn't answer. "About me!"

"I have something for you," I quickly changed the subject. She looked at me with an intrigued eye.

"You mean, a gift?" She grinned strangely, that kind of sick twisted grin of hers.

"You could say that," I said, picking it up off the desk and crossing the room to hand it to her. As soon as she saw it was a book, she grimaced, looking exceptionally disappointed.

"I don't want a book."

"Here, take it," I ignored her, handing her the leather bound text.

Sneering, but curious, she gazed down at it. Instantly, she was suspicious, "The Bible?"

"Yes. I thought maybe you'd gain something from reading the New Testament," I explained. You see, recently, I had begun to study philosophy and theology, particularly Christianity. Admittedly, I would not describe myself as a religious person – perhaps agnostic, if anything – but at the same time, I had found something quite enticing about the Christian religion. Most of the interest, I assume, came from the fact that I found many of its elements quite applicable to the Sohma family.

"Is this a joke?" Akito interrogated.

"No, not at all," I assured her. "As I said, I thought you could gain something from it. You see, it's just sort of like western folklore, if you will." Akito raised an eyebrow. "The New Testament is pretty much a story, kind of like a fable. The main character is Jesus Christ, and he is a god who happens to have come to this world as a human. As you can see, I thought it was someone you might be interested in."

"Go on…"

"Well, Jesus also has twelve loving followers, which he calls his disciples."

Akito smirked slightly, "Twelve? Really?"

"Yes," I nodded, "And Jesus loves them very much and teaches them all sorts of lessons."

"What kind of lessons?"

"I'm glad you asked, Akito. Jesus taught his disciples and all he met moral lessons. For instance, Jesus taught acceptance of others, even for those considered outcasts by society. There are many stories about him healing lepers and letting them eat at his table. But, I won't spoil it for you anymore. You should really read it."

"It sounds boring," Akito commented, albeit a bit unconvincingly.

"Well, give it a try first, won't you?"

"Fine…"

"So, then I suppose we're finished for the day, then…?"

"Are we?" Akito snapped, narrowing her eyes. The young girl surely did have some control issues.

"Well, what is left to talk about? Is there anything on your mind, Akito?"

"No…"

"So…?"

Akito stood up now. "I guess we're done for the day, then."

"Good," I remarked. Smiling slyly, I added, "Oh, I have something else for you, Akito." I returned to my desk, snatched a manga from under my desk, walked back, and handed it to her.

"What's this?" She read the cover "'_Urusei Yatsura?_'"

This time, it was a joke, one I was taking a gamble on by hoping that she wouldn't get it. "Nothing really," I explained, trying to suppress my laughter, "Just some light reading. I thought maybe you might get something out of the character of Ryuunosuke…"

Her eyes flickered with inquisitiveness. Yet, she simply said, "I don't like that you're giving me all this reading."

"Well, you don't have to read it."

"We'll see…" she mumbled and then left my office.

So ended yet another mostly unsuccessful session. Maybe she'd get something out of the Bible. Lord knows (no pun intended), so many others have. I returned to my desk and reviewed my notes for the session. We had begun discussing her confusion over her gender identity, went into self-esteem and trust issues, attempted to tackle the superiority complex and her violent urges (that one was pretty messy), fell into our awkward silence period (as indicated by the doodles) and then pretty much ended on anger management, Jesus, and a 1980s manga.

I really had hit rock bottom.

* * *

Author's note: For those of you who don't know _Urusei Yatsura _was created by the same person who created both _Ramma ½ _and _Inu Yashu. _UY is actually her first work and was both a very popular manga and anime in the eighties and continues to be today. There's a lot to it, but for our purposes, Lum (who has become quite an icon in Japan and elsewhere in the world) is an alien princess who can fly and electrocute people. She idolized and worshiped by all the men at Tomobiki High School, except by Ataru Moroboshi, a lecherous, unlucky idiot (to put it bluntly). Ironically, though, Lum is in love with Ataru and believes they are husband and wife (long story there), much to Ataru's unhappiness. As a result, he resists and comedy ensues.

As for the character of Ryuunosuke (she's one of many in the large cast of characters), she has been forced ever since she was born to be a boy – she has a boy's name, has to dress like a boy, fight like a boy, etc – because her father always wanted a son but was given a daughter instead. At Tomobiki High School, everyone believes she is a male student and all the girls love her because she's so handsome, strong, smart, and sensitive. In fact, only Ataru knows realizes she's a girl. However, despite her popularity, all Ryuunosuke wants is to be able to behave like a girl and wear female clothing, etc. It's presented very humorously, but if you think about it, it is kind of sad.

Anyhow, hope that clears stuff up for those who were confused!


	2. Kyou Session 124, Yuki Session 124

Thank you to all those who have read and those who have reviewed! It makes me very happy to see other people enjoying my work!

Anyhow, I decided to do another "combo" chapter. As aformentioned, I eventually intend to separate each session into its own individual chapter. However, for Chapter 2, I've decided to present both Yuki and Kyou's sessions with one another. I suppose I feel they sort of compliment each other and should not be separated. Also, as it is still the beginning of the story, I believe that if I divide it up too much right now I might hurt the narrative's momento (yes, I think way too much about these things...)

With that, enjoy, enjoy!_

* * *

Patient – Sohma Kyou; Session #124 _

"So," I questioned, "Uh…how does that make you feel…?"

"How do you think it makes me feel?" Kyou shouted, crossing his arms and turning away with a huff.

Instantly, I felt incredible stupid. The whole point of this session I knew was completely absurd. There was nothing to be said. There was nothing I could do to solve his problem. Yet, I struggled on with it, despite this, "Yes, I –"

"I mean," Kyou continued to lash out, "How would you feel if you knew in less than a year you'd be locked up for the rest of your life?"

I cringed. "I suppose I'd feel pretty lousy…" I muttered. I knew I already felt lousy just being part ofour miserablefamily.

"Exactly. So there's really nothing left to talk about. The only reason why I come anyway is because stupid Akito makes us." He had a point in regards to his former statement; neither Oxford nor Harvard prepared me to counsel a teenager as he prepares to be imprisoned forever by his unloving family for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

"How about we discuss something else then? Is there something else on your mind?"

"No."

I fiddled with my pen a bit in my hand. A thought struck me – one that had often struck me during my sessions with Kyou. I never dare mention it out loud, though, but I could no longer resist. With some hesitation, I slowly began, "Hey Kyou…"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Have you ever thought about – " I stopped.

"Thought about what?" Kyou now questioned.

"Nothing, never mind," I mumbled.

"No, what were you going to say?"

I couldn't understand what was holding me back. Surely, I knew Akito would never approve, but what did it matter? I also knew what was right. Had my independent and reasonable spirit succumbed to the madness of my family? Growing angry with myself, I finally blurted; "Well, have you ever thought about traveling?"

Kyou looked at me surprised; I could see it was not what he was expecting to hear. He blinked. "Traveling?"

"Yes, traveling. You know, going off and seeing the world a bit. When I was your age, I was already studying in England. I had traveled all over Europe. There's quite a lot to see in just that little continent alone. I think it might be good for you to get a fresh perspective. You could even go and visit Egypt, if you'd like; the cat was an important animal in Ancient Egypt, you know."

"I don't know…how am I going to get the money for that sort of thing? And I have no time, since I still have to try and beat Yuki before I graduate…" At this, I wanted to lunge across my desk and slap him for acting like such a stupid idiot. Didn't he get it? If he was halfway across the world, it wouldn't matter if he beat Yuki, for how on earth did he expect to be locked up by anyone from the Sohma family?

"Well," I tried my best to pursue it further, "why don't you try finding yourself an exchange program? There are some really good ones. I can help you, and Kazuma of course, find one that'll suit you, if you want. Then, you can finish high school overseas."

"Just so I can come back here?" Kyou scoffed.

"_No_," I replied, trying to keep my temper. "After all, I spent eight years abroad."

"That's good for you. I don't know how it'll help me."

"I'm talking about running away!" I suddenly snapped.

Kyou rolled his eyes, "I'm not trying to run away; we've been over this before. I accept the fact that I'm the cat, blah, blah, blah…"

I buried my head in my hands in total frustration. "That's not what I meant. And, just so you know, I can tell you're not very sincere - about accepting who you are, that is."

'Then what is it that you mean, hmm? Because all of this is just getting really annoying!"

"It sounds to me that you forgot about your anger management exercises," I said pathetically (why did I even bother with those anymore? It wasn't as if anyone actually used them). Sighing, I shook my head and stated, "Oh never mind - that's not important now. Just listen to me. I know I've been working with you on running away. And I know I've been explaining to you that running away is a bad thing. And it is a bad thing to run away from who you are instead of accepting who you are. It is also a bad thing to run away from relationships because you are afraid of getting close to someone since you don't think they will accept you for who you are, namely because _you _don't accept you for who you are.

"However, we also worked on learning to love and respect yourself and to work through your inferiority complex. Part of what we worked on is standing up for yourself in a way that is positive and constructive, not in a matter that is angry or destructive. Don't you think then, that something like being locked up for the rest of your life is something that maybe you should deal with by standing up for yourself in a positive and constructive way?"

"Well, obviously; that's what I'm trying to do!"

"Okay, sure, but don't you think that further fueling an illogical and pointless rivalry with Yuki which must cumulate in you using physical force against him in an attempt to shift your complexes might be more an angry, destructive way of handling the situation?"

"I don't know…what else am I suppose to do, huh?"

"That's what I'm trying to explain. I think that if you instead decide to do something positive for yourself – traveling while further enhancing your education – you will, as a result, be standing up for yourself in a very constructive non-negative way by not accepting being locked up no matter what. No ultimatums, no deals. See? You are a person that deserves happiness and respect, after all." I felt quite satisfied when I was done. After all, it must have been the first time that a member of this family actually said something that was actually logical. What's more, I was sure I had finally gotten through to someone in this family. I must have made sense. And I was sure Kyou would be the one to understand. The one they all thought was inferior would end up, ironically, being the smartest of them all. Or so I thought.

Unfortunately, Kyou didn't fully embrace the idea. He definitely pondered it, but something in him seemed doubtful, unsure. "I gotta go," he said abruptly, and turned.

"But wait – " but Kyou was already out the door, "Oh, forget it!" I yelled with an annoyed huff.

Once alone, I fell into thought. At once, I wondered why on earth I was still there, at the Sohma residents, suffering as I was. They were all hopeless, all of them. I tried to talk; they didn't listen to me. They talked; I _had _to listen to them. The whole thing was so depressing, so miserable, so frustrating that I was ready to snap. Not a single one of them had a shred of reason in them, not one of them had been enlightened to the greatness of logic and morality. And yet, as much as I hated it and hated them, I stayed. To be honest, I couldn't leave. But it wasn't because I was cursed as the jyuunishi were, drawn, or so it was said (I still believe there's a psychological explanation for it), to their god, Akito, and unable to defy her despite any wishes not to. No, I was cursed with something far worse and far more deadly.

I was cursed with obligation, a sense of responsibility. Worse of all, I was cursed with hope. For some unexplainable reason, I still felt I could help them, save them. It still lingered in the back of my mind. If I stuck it out a bit further, I would think, then maybe I could get through to them. Because of my conscience, I couldn't abandon them, and, because of my hope, I couldn't stop trying to help them.

_

* * *

Patient – Sohma Yuki; Session #124 _

Yuki always remained perfectly pleasant and polite during his sessions with me. He would lay on the couch flat on his back the entire time, resting his hands on his stomach and would feign listening to me, as if he was seriously taking what I was saying to heart. Hardly ever did he show anger or annoyance. It was oddly frustrating, as I knew it was all a façade, and I had been working on him to be more honest about his feelings. Yet, he seemed to constantly put a pressure on himself to be amiable and likeable. Except, that is, when we talked about Kyou, who was the topic at hand.

"I hate him because I'm the rat and he's the cat," Yuki said coolly, "There's really nothing else to it."

I sighed. "I think there is something more to it, though, Yuki."

"So you say…" Yuki muttered.

"Listen, Yuki, I believe it's important to discuss this irrational hatred you have for Kyou."

"It's not irrational; I just explained it to you."

"Well, firstly, it's not good to hate anyone; you waste a lot of energy when you do so. Secondly, it _is_ irrational, for the only 'reason' why you hate him is because you were told you had to hate him for a reason that he has no control over." Yuki remained silent, so I continued. "It seems to me that you have developed this unhealthy prejudice toward Kyou – because he's the cat – as a way to make yourself perhaps feel better about yourself, hmm?"

Yuki frowned and glanced away. "I'm not the only one who feels this way. Nobody's ever liked the cat. Nobody does now. He doesn't belong. We can't all be wrong."

I wanted to shout at him that yes, they all could be wrong, _very wrong_. Instead, though, I said calmly, "Well, why doesn't anyone like the cat?"

"He's a monster."

"Just because he's different than you doesn't make him a monster. How about this question; what is it about Kyou that you don't like?"

"He's the cat."

I grimaced; we were going around in circles. I sighed and said, "I suppose there's nothing wrong with not liking a person. Everyone knows people that they don't get along with, sometimes just because they're not compatible. That's perfectly fine. However, it becomes unhealthy when it consumes you and you begin to wish harm on the people you don't like. That's when it escalates into hate, which is negative and usually indicates perhaps low self-esteem or a need to assert superiority. Is there something about yourself that is bothering you that you're not dealing with directly but instead expressing indirectly through hating Kyou?"

"No."

"Well, I can't help you, Yuki, if you don't tell me what's bothering you," I said seriously, but let out a laugh light to keep the atmosphere relaxed.

"It seems to me that something's bothering _you_…" Yuki muttered sharply. I hated when patients took it upon themselves to start analyzing you; I hated it more when they did it accurately.

"I suppose," I began cautiously but honestly, "Something is bothering me. I guess I don't understand how you or anyone else in this family could hate someone so much as to wish them to be imprisoned for the rest of their lives. Don't you think that that's wrong?"

"He deserves it…" he trailed off, sounding a bit uncomfortable. "Let's not talk about this anymore, please."

I tapped my finger on my desk. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I should continue pursuing the conversation. Sure, I had a lot to say on the subject (mostly about how locking up another individual simply because you did not like him was illegal), but I ultimately decided to let the subject go for the time being, as I didn't think I was doing any good arguing in circles, or arguing at all, for that matter. Perhaps I still clung to that little thing called hope, the hope that logic and reason would enlighten not just Yuki, but all the Sohmas, and they'd see how ridiculous they sounded wanting to lock up a seventeen year old based on some old folktale. Certainly thinking individuals wouldn't really do such a thing. So, I said to Yuki, "Sure, we don't have to talk about this anymore today. What would you like to talk about?"

"Nothing really, Kazuki."

"How about your relationship with Akito? How's that coming along for you?"

"Just fine…"

"Oh, is it?" I looked over at him and immediately felt a wave of depression; he was lying, I knew. Swallowing hard, I suppressed my own sadness, and asked, "Have you worked on overcoming your fear in regards to Akito?"

"No…I mean, uh, yes…"

"Well, its all right if you're still frightened," I then assured him, "What's important is that you don't let that fear control you, hence allowing Akito to control you. What Akito did to you was very wrong, but you can overcome that by reminding yourself that you are a good person who didn't deserve such treatment. When you begin to think of yourself in a positive way, you'll soon see you'll be able to cope and deal with things in a more positive way, remember?"

"I will try to do so, Kazuki." There he went again, pretending to be receptive, but by now, I saw through it.

"How about you list some of the qualities you like about yourself then, hmm?"

"I'm sorry, but I unfortunately have to leave," Yuki answered, suddenly sitting up, "I'm already running late, and I don't want to keep Miss Honda waiting."

"Oh, okay. That's all right. We'll just pick this up next time, then," I said as he went to the coat rack, took his jacket, and put it on. Quickly, I added, "I think it's very good you're spending time with Tohru. She seems like a good friend."

"Yes, she is, thank you," Yuki smiled genuinely for once. However, that sincerity was soon gone as he continued, "And thank you for such good advice, Kazuki."

"You're welcome…" I replied, suppressing my bitterness at knowing he hardly absorbed a word I said. "Have a nice day, Yuki."

"You too. Good-bye." With that, Yuki left. I frowned; 124 sessions and he hadn't changed a bit.


	3. Akito Sohma Session 212

Thanks again to everyone for reading and reviewing! Anyhow, this chapter is just one session, and I hope the _Urusei Yatsura _parts don't confuse anyone. I think the Author's note at the end of Chapter 1 explains what you need to know if you're not familiar with the anime/manga, but don't hesitate to either leave a question in a review and I'll try to respond when I post the next chapter or, if you want, do an internet search about it (after all, I _highly _recommend all anime fans check out _Urusei Yatsura_, as it is a classic!).

Also, again, I'd like to reitirate that I do not mean to offend anyone in terms of religion. Admittedly, Akito's interpretation of Christianity might be seen as offensive, but it is important to note that it's supposed to be. What's more, while I myself am a Christian, Akito is obviously not (nor is Kazuki, for that matter, but I believe he handles the topic with much more respect), and I am trying to be true to her character and her perspective. However, if something really bothers you, you can let me know, and I'll try my best to address your concerns. In addition, if you are not familiar with the Christian faith and need something clarified, you can again ask me or do an internet search.

Thanks and enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Akito; Session #212_

I'll admit it; I have a bit of my own psychological quirks. No one's perfect, after all (although trying to teach Akito that seems like a lost cause). Primarily, I tend to be a bit too passive, and I end up keeping everything bottled in me until I have rather large, angry outbursts. These outbursts don't happen very often and when they do, they tend to be very brief and I quickly revert to my passive self and grow instantly apologetic and embarrassed. I know it would be better to say what's on my mind in a more positive way, but I guess I feel that if I remain calm and resort to reason that logic itself will prevail and smooth everything over. Unfortunately, it's not always the case and that's when I really lose it.

During session #212, I lost my patience.

Akito came in and laid on the couch, as usual. Her expression told me that she had something on her mind that she wanted to discuss. After a moment, she began, "I read what you gave me…"

"Oh? Really?" I was quite surprised.

"Yes. I found it quite…applicable…" Akito answered; she appeared a bit reluctant and embarrassed, but said "Let's discuss it."

"Certainly! What would you like to discuss first?" I couldn't hide my genuine excitement, and I knew I must have been grinning from ear to ear. Had I achieved success at last?

"Well…" She was quiet for a bit and then repeated, "Well…about this Ryuunosuke…"

My jaw dropped, and I looked at her dumbfounded. "What?"

"I said, 'about Ryuunosuke.'" She was growing impatient.

"You mean you want to discuss the _Urusei Yatsura _manga?"

"_Yes_. You're the one who gave me it to read, right?"

"Yes, but…" I sighed and slumped in my chair. It seemed that my joke was on me. Despite this, I thought I should try to work with what I had. "Okay, yes, what about the character of Ryuunosuke?"

"She's a girl, isn't she?"

"Yes."

"And her father, since he wanted a son, gave her a boy's name and makes her dress like a boy?"

"Yes."

"And everyone thinks she's a boy when she's really a girl?"

"Yes, that's true, too."

"Except this Ataru Moroboshi fellow, who's a real idiot. I hate him."

"Remember we discussed that it's bad to hate, Akito," I reminded her patiently.

"Yes, I remember. But he deserves my hate for being so lecherous. But I want to discuss Ryuunosuke. I suppose I just didn't really understand her at first."

"How so?"

"I didn't understand why she wanted to dress like a girl so much."

"Well, she was being deprived of expressing her true sexuality because of unfair pressure by a parental figure. Do you ever feel that way, Akito?"

"Men are powerful. Women are disgusting, weak creatures. Or so I thought."

"Hmm?"

"That's why I was confused. Because as a boy, Ryuunosuke was strong and respected by everyone. Why would she want to give it up? But then I realized that she wasn't the strongest or most respected in the story, and she must have realized this, too."

I scratched my head. "I'm afraid I'm not following you, Akito."

"She wanted to emulate the true god, in the story that is. Lum was their god."

"What?" I stammered; leave it to Akito to make anything sound twisted.

"It's obvious, isn't it? They all worship her and are unconditionally loyal to her. The men, that is. The women, of course, cannot be trusted, like that Shinobu, who I'm sure Lum will get rid of. Also, there's still that stupid Ataru, who constantly betrays her, but I see how she keeps him subordinate by electrocuting him and keeping him, thus, frightened. In this way, she demonstrates her supreme authority over him. The one thing I didn't understand, though, is how Lum got them all to worship her as their god if she is always embracing her _feminine _side."

"Okay…" I trailed off, awkwardly, but made an attempt to remain pleasant. "How about we talk about the New Testament now? Did you read that, too?"

Akito frowned, seemingly unhappy, and replied, "Yes, I read that too. Boring, really. Jesus was an idiot."

"An idiot?"

"Yes. He certainly was a crappy god. He lived in poverty and spent all his time with social rejects."

"I think you've missed the point – " I tried to explain, but Akito just spoke over me.

"And he gets killed in the end. He just lets them kill him. What a pathetic wimp."

"But he does that out of love for mankind. In the story, he's sacrificing himself to save all people."

"If he was a real god, there's no way he would allow himself to be treated that way."

"Jesus believes in turning the other cheek. He doesn't get angry and deals with all people in a peaceful, loving way."

"He's an idiot."

"He's _not _an idiot." I was losing my patience as I stood up.

"Yes, he is!" Akito seemed to be losing her patience as well as she rose to her feet. "Who let's themselves get killed by being nailed to a stupid cross?"

"Jesus doesn't just let himself be killed; he does so to save all humanity. By dying, he conquers evil and by rising, he defeats death."

"So what? He doesn't even punish those who betrayed him after he gets resurrected."

"Because Jesus symbolizes _love_. His power comes from his great love and goodness. He brings people _happiness _not _misery_. That's why people love and worship him even to this day."

"Not everyone does because he allows them to be disobedient."

"That's because he believes in _free-will_, thus those who worship him genuinely love him."

"He's still a weak idiot; Lum is a much better god."

At this, I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. Was she that dense? Could she not see the merits in a figure like Jesus Christ, who believed in loving _all _people? Was she actually comparing a character in some manga to one of the most important figures in world history? So, I yelled, "Lum is not a god – she's an alien princess, you idiot! What in the hell is wrong with you?"

Akito's eyes immediately began to twitch as her face became distorted into an expression of absolute fury. Grabbing the end table by the side of the couch, she hurled it at me. Thankfully, I ducked it, and it shattered with a loud crash as it hit the wall behind me. "How dare you talk to me like that!"

"We discussed you not throwing things when you get angry," I stated tensely, trying to calm my own flaring temper as I moved around my desk to the front of it. I added, "Now you should apologize."

"Jesus never apologized!"

"That's because Jesus doesn't throw tables at people!"

Grabbing the Bible, she held it up and said, "In here, it says he knocked over all those tables in the temple."

"Oh, give me that!" I retorted with annoyance, snatching the book from her. "Just forget it!" I walked over to my bookshelf as I heard Akito fall back onto the couch. I placed it on the shelf and then took a moment to compose myself. I inhaled and exhaled deeply several times to calm myself. After a couple minutes, I turned around and faced Akito, laying lazily on the couch, and said, "I'm sorry for losing my temper like that."

I waited for her apology; it did not come. "You should be…" was all she said and that was that.

Another unsuccessful, miserable session.


	4. Ayame Session 78, Hatori Session 96

Another "combo" chapter - enjoy and thanks to you all!

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Patient – Sohma Ayame; Session # 78 _

Without a doubt, my favorite sessions are with Ayame. At first, I thought I wouldn't be able to stand him, but as it turned out, he ended up giving me hope and driving me on. In a way, I guess I should begrudge him for instilling in me such false faith in our family. Yet, as his sessions tend to be my only truly pleasant ones, I can't resent him all that much. Besides, as I saw it, although under the zodiac curse, Ayame did not live a cursed life; in any case, he certainly didn't seem affected by it. If he could do it through approaching his problems in a positive way, I reasoned, the others could maybe do it as well. Then, they would finally be freed from all their misery and suffering and, instead, embrace life and begin living it to the fullest. So, for me, my sessions with Ayame became learning experiences, as I tried to figure out what made him so special, what he was doing so differently, that he could be freed of such terrible torment.

"Oh, I just wish Yuki was just more receptive toward me!" Ayame exclaimed dramatically.

"Yeah, me too…" I mumbled, unhappily recalling my last session with his younger sibling.

"But I don't know what else I can do, Kazuki. I mean, honestly, the more I try to get closer to him, the further it seems I push him away. It's just so terribly tragic…"

"I know it must be frustrating for you, Ayame, but I think, for the most part, you're handling the situation in a positive way. Perhaps, though, you might want to consider giving him a little bit of space, because, at his age, he might feel as if you're being a bit too clingy."

"Oh, to be seventeen again! Yes, I know how it can be. I certainly would have wanted to be left alone."

"That's good that you're beginning to see things from his perspective. It shows you're beginning to be considerate of other people's feelings, like we've been discussing."

"Still, I can't take it anymore! My poor, sweet, little brother wants nothing to do with me! It's my fault, I know, for abandoning him like I did, but I want to help him now! How can I make him see that?"

"I think he'll slowly begin to see that with time, as long as you continue to make yourself available to him when he needs you. As for strengthening your brotherly bond, well, I think that maybe you should try to look at things from his point of view."

"Hmm?" Ayame looked over at me with curiosity and hopeful eyes.

"What I mean is, for example, typically it seems you invite him to come over to your shop. However, from what I gather, your shop makes him feel uncomfortable. So, perhaps, you can find out what he likes or what his interests are, and you two can have an outing there instead."

"Oh, yes! That's a brilliant idea!" He beamed, but soon his expression dropped slightly, "But, when I go to visit him at Shigure's home, he seems just as miserable to see me! Surely that's a place that he should feel comfortable at!"

"In that case, I would say that the problem is not that you're visiting him at his home, but that you go over without asking if it's all right for you to come by for a visit. He might be busy with something else but then feels obligated to spend time with you because you invite yourself over without asking."

"Why, that's what Ha'ri says!" Ayame declared with much excitement. "And that's surely something I can fix!"

"I'm sure you'll be able to fix it, as well."

Ayame continued to grin, "Oh, Kazuki, I am so very grateful to you! With your help, I can feel Yuki and I growing closer every day! And I believe I'm really starting to get the hang of all this being considerate of other people's feelings thing! Really, I am!"

"Yes, well, I'm afraid I'm going to cut things short, as I wasn't expecting you to barge in, since you weren't scheduled…" I awkwardly trailed off.

"I'm so sorry about that, dear Kazuki, really I am! But I just _needed _to talk to you and it couldn't wait till tomorrow! I mean, if I didn't, I wouldn't have realized how important it is for me to start being more considerate of people's feelings!"

I let out a laugh at the irony of it all, and said, "It's all right, Ayame. We'll continue talking about this at your session tomorrow, that's all." (An appointment, I suppose I should note, he failed to show up for.)

"Certainly! Certainly!" Ayame said theatrically, rising to his feet and gliding his hand through his silver hair. As he approached the door, he reminded me, "Oh, and don't forget to tell your wonderful mother I say hello!"

"I will," I assured him. It seemed as if Ayame and my mother had become rather good friends over the years while I was away; in any case, their personalities were rather compatible.

"And that I'll be sure to come by sometime," he added. In the doorway, he gave a wave of his hand and said, "Ta ta for now!" He didn't bother closing the door behind him.

I sat back and wondered if I had really managed to make much progress with Ayame. Sure, his life seemed to be going well, and he was working on trying to be considerate and less selfish, but he still tended to be rather self-absorbed. At the same time, he did try to genuinely reach out to his brother and cared for his friends. It seemed, in the end, that by truly loving himself he was able to positively show affection for others. In any event, he certainly wasn't controlled by Akito, as far as I could tell, anyway. He was independent and free-thinking, albeit a bit too emotional and not very logical. Despite this, he was happy. At least, I know that I (nor do I think him) would never think of describing him as cursed

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Patient – Sohma Hatori; Session #96 _

"Why is it that you feel the need to obey Akito like you do?" I suddenly questioned. I was surprised I even said it, and I could tell immediately that Hatori was surprised I had brought it up, as well. I suppose, though, that as it has been on my mind so much, it was bound to slip out eventually.

"Excuse me?" Hatori asked.

I could tell he was hoping I'd withdraw my question, but upon thinking about it, it was a good question and definitely worth asking. After all, the jyuunishi's bizarre Akito worshiping seemed to be the key to many of their problems. Furthermore, it didn't take a degree from either Oxford or from Harvard to make me quite aware that it was unhealthy for any person to idolize another person to the extent wherehe surrendered allhis decision making powers to her. In fact, it seemed to me that our family had all the makings of a bona fide cult, complete with brainwashing and all. So, I repeated, "Why is it that you feel the need to obey Akito like you do?"

"I don't understand the meaning of your question," Hatori simply answered.

"How come you don't get angry at Akito, for instance? Or how come you always turn to Akito for permission when you're a grown man?" I knew my questions were too severe; I was becoming argumentative, something which I should have been avoiding.

Hatori (who always sat on the couch and never lied down) shifted uneasily just for a brief moment, before coolly saying, "Because she is the head of the Sohma family and deserves our respect."

"But often times Akito makes bad decisions, don't you think?"

"No."

"Not at all?"

"No."

I gritted my teeth; the man was as hard as a rock when he wanted to be, and I could tell he was getting perturbed. Yet, despite my professional instincts not to, I pursued it further, "What about with Kana then? You don't think Akito made any bad decisions in regards to that situation?"

Hatori swallowed hard, trying his best to remain composed. "No, Akito did nothing wrong."

"So she was right to blame Kana then?"

"We've already discussed this before; it was my fault."

Sighing, I remarked grumpily, "Yes, we have discussed this before, but I remember I came to a different conclusion…"

"I don't find this sort of interrogation very appropriate," Hatori commented coldly.

Inhaling deeply, I had no choice but to agree; "I'm sorry, you're right." With a struggle, I forced myself to return to my pleasant, professional demeanor, "However, speaking of Kana, while we've been working to help you move past the experience, at the same time, I think there's a lesson to be learned from it."

"Oh?" Hatori stared at me with his cold eyes. I could tell he didn't want to hear what I had to say; he never wanted to hear what I had to say.

"Well, I think," I hesitated before I went on, "I think maybe it shows that sometimes, even though it might be difficult, we have to stand up for ourselves and for what we believe is right. You see, I understand that you feel this need to obey Akito despite your own feelings and desires, but I think that in order to grow as a person and to find true happiness, you need to – huh?"

Hatori had stood up and was walking across the office toward the door. "I think this session is over."

"But I'm not finished – " I protested.

"I am," he stated sharply but retained that low, calm voice of his. He then closed the door harshly behind him.

With a sigh, I took the notes I had been writing and helplessly threw them in the air, the papers scattering on my desk and the surrounding area as I reclined in my chair. Despite all my attempts, I still failed to make any progress.


	5. Akito Sohma Session 213

Thanks to you all for the wonderful reviews; as I've said before, I love that I can bring enjoyment to others through my work. Anyhow, I hope everyone likes the next session!

Please note - this session contains MAJOR SPOILERS for those who have not read all the way up to I believe chapter 101 of the manga (I'm sorry, but I can't remember exactly which chapter, but I think it's chapter 98 and 101 where the following information is revealed).

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_Patient – Sohma Akito; Session #213_

Session #213 with Akito might be the most bizarre and disturbing psychiatric session I ever had with a member of my family. It had started out as a seemingly normal one (well, as normal as it could be), with Akito coming in, sprawling on the couch, and merrily partaking in some idle banter with me for the beginning bit of the session. Admittedly, at times, I got the impression that Akito continued with these sessions as mere entertainment, with me as her primary entertainer. It was an unsettling feeling, one that I tried to shake off so that I could concentrate on doing my job to the best of my ability.

Once Akito finished amusing herself with her chit chat, I was able to start dealing with some of her more pressing issues and emotional problems. It seemed harmless, at first, the typical discussions, all ending with the same results the previous 212 sessions had. However, without warning, it suddenly became ugly - _very ugly_.

I blame myself. I'm the one who initiated it with a simple question; "So, what was it about Ataru Moroboshi that bothered you so much Akito?" Thinking back, I should have let it go, but the psychiatrist in me wouldn't allow me to. After all, it had been lingering in the back of my mind since our last session, and I knew that Akito's expressed hatred for the main character of the _Urusei Yatsura_ manga must have had some sort of psychological implications. Yet, at the same time, I should have known better; when we had discussed the manga last time, it had ended in disaster. Why did I think that this time would be any different?

"He is a disloyal lecher," she stated, eyes narrowing.

"I suppose that's true, but Ataru is only a character, Akito. His behavior is typically taken to be just part of the light-hearted fun."

"Do you think it's fun?" she interrogated with severity, "To be so disloyal?"

"Well, of course it's wrong to be disloyal. Are you perhaps struggling yourself with unresolved issues pertaining to this?"

"Lum is their god - she should _not _be questioned."

"So, Ataru's lechery angers you because, in your mind, it shows that he is questioning Lum?"

"_Yes._"

"I see…"

"You're taking notes again! What are you writing?" she demanded, sitting up and glaring threateningly at me.

"I'm just writing down your answer to the question, so that I'll remember it later. That's all."

"Oh…" she trailed off. Her gaze averted to the window. It was raining out.

"Do you then feel - "

"Enough!" she snapped; it was her way of saying that she disapproved of how much control I had taken over the session.

"All right," I concurred, and we fell into our usual awkward period of silence. After a moment, she stood up and began slowly pacing around the room. She seemed greatly troubled and almost desperate to share it.

"I was disloyal once…" she finally said in a strange voice that I had never heard her use before.

"Were you?" With this, I foolishly thought I could piece the puzzle together; obviously, she was expressing hatred for Ataru Moroboshi because she saw a character flaw in him that she in actuality loathed in herself. Unfortunately, I would soon learn that wasn't quite it. Yet, I pursued this notion and asked, "Then, do you feel you relate to Ataru on some level?"

"_No!_" she shouted violently, and her reaction truly startled me. "He is nothing like me! I am like Lum! I am a god! I do nothing wrong!"

"It's okay, Akito, it's okay," I tried to relax her, "Please go on – if you'd like, that is."

She was quiet for a while. Then, she spoke, "We were in love, you know. That never changed. He just didn't understand that I had other urges and desires that I had to fulfill. I am a god, though, but he didn't get it. He's just like Ataru! They all are!"

"It seems to me that you're afraid that those family members cursed by the zodiac will betray you as Ataru does Lum, but remember how we discussed how each of them is an individual who has the right to - "

"He already has betrayed me!" she interrupted me with a shriek.

I felt perplexed as I studied her quizzically. "I'm trying my best to understand, but I'm afraid I'm a bit confused, Akito," I admitted. "Who betrayed you?"

Her eyes were twitching and then grew wide, her expression maddening. She whispered with a strange hiss, "Shigure…Shigure betrayed me…"

My mouth dropped open, and I looked at her silently for a long time in disbelief. Blinking, I shook my head and barely managed to choke out, "What?"

"It wasn't my fault!" At once, she broke out into a frenzy, her body shaking with rage. "It wasn't my fault, Kazuki! Yes, I lusted for Kureno, _but Shigure had no right! _I was his god! I _am _his god! And he, he dared sleep with her! He dared to share a bed with _her_!" With a furious scream, she used all her strength to knock over my bookshelf, all of my books scattering about.

Nervously, I rose to my feet, hoping to calm her down as I slowly approached her. "Please, Akito, this is not a constructive or positive way to deal with your anger."

She snatched one of the books from the floor and threw it at me, the book thankfully missing. She threw a second one which came closer, but I was able to dodge it. "Would you do such a thing to me, Kazuki? _Would you?_"

"Please, Akito, you mustn't throw things like that –"

"He's a lecher! A lecher like Ataru! A dirty disgusting lecher! How low! _How low!_ To sleep with her! He said he loved me but he slept with her! To sleep with my disgusting mother!"

My eyes widened in shock. To be honest, I was speechless. I couldn't believe it. 212 sessions and how could something like that _never _come up? How could it be that Shigure, Shigure of all people, had a relationship with not just Akito, but with _her mother_, as well?

I watched as Akito staggered to the door, breathing labored and coughing a bit. As she left my office, I just stood there silently, unable to think of a single thing to say. I was completely lost for words. The longer I thought about what I had just learned, the more shocking and disturbing it became.

For a fleeting moment, I truly believed that perhaps my family really was cursed.


	6. Shigure Session 36, Interlude

Thanks again, everyone! I really appreciate that you take the time to read my work!

Well, next is Shigure...admittedly, this part was a little odd to write. For the most part, I'm more familiar with anime Shigure than I am with manga Shigure (as strange as it is, I think of them as almost two separate characters, but can you blame me, lol?). However, obviously, for the purposes of this story, I had to adhere to the manga interpretation of his character. Therefore, I hope that when I wrote this session I did a decent job in my portrayal of Shigure. Of course, I'll let you all decide! Let me know how I did!

Enjoy (well, as much as you can at any rate...)!

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_Patient – Sohma Shigure; Session #36_

Only minutes after Akito left me, my office an absolute mess and me standing there dumbfounded, did Shigure come strolling in for his appointment (reflecting back, it was as if he planned the whole thing).

"Why good afternoon, Kazuki," he greeted me as he came, adding with a sly smirk. "Well, it sure looks like Akito made quite a mess, doesn't it?"

I couldn't take my eyes off him. Yes, I know it's wrong to judge a patient, but my human shortcomings made me do so despite this. Why? Why would he do such a thing? What could he possibly see in Akito – a girl so confused, so violent, so controlling – that would attract him in such a way? Certainly, I didn't see anything at all romantically appealing about her (not to mention that they are close blood relatives, making it all the more odd, although I have theorized that my family's tradition of incest might have been what caused so many psychological disorders). And, from what I gathered, it seemed that she had always been, even as a child, a (I hesitate to use the word, as it is rather unprofessional) cruel and abusive person. Moreover, for him to then sleep with her mother (who wasn't all that pleasant, either), made the whole relationship even more twisted in my mind. Of course, I completely understood that Shigure must have been angered to find Akito sleeping with another man, and many individuals would, as a way to express their pain and hurt, decide to avenge such deeds with similar actions (which, needless to say, is not a very constructive or positive way of dealing with such a situation). However, I must admit, sleeping with your partner's _mother_, well, that was taking it just a tad too far; in fact, it took it to an all together more disturbing and psychologically imbalanced level.

Then again, although I hadn't met with him frequently compared to the others, I had always found my sessions with Shigure strangely unsettling. At first, it had seemed that Shigure's sessions would turn out to be my favorites, as he himself was so relaxed and friendly. Yet, it didn't take long for me to get the feeling that something was lurking, lurking behind that bubbly façade. I wasn't sure exactly what it was though and that was the problem; I couldn't figure him out. I always got the feeling that he was calculating something, trying to manipulate things, scheming for his own purposes, but I really had no proof except for a gut instinct and the rare times when his silly grin seemed to become a creepy smirk. Typically, it appeared (although, to be honest, he was quite subtle about it) that he came to our sessions to see what kind of information he could pry out of me about the others (something which, I can proudly say, he has been largely unsuccessful at). What was worse was that I often felt as if he was trying to analyze me, when it was supposed to be the other way around.

As Shigure took his seat on the couch, I still remained standing in shock, trying to absorb what I had just learned. I became desperate to ask him about what Akito had just told me. The curiosity was stinging; I wanted to make sense of it all, bring reason to what seemed to be so absurdly illogical. There was obviously something more to it – there _had _to be. Yet, despite my deep desire to know more, I knew I couldn't ask him and so I didn't. After all, ethically and professionally speaking, I was required to uphold patient confidentiality at all times and so anything that Akito discussed with me during a session had to remain between the two of us.

"So, what will we be discussing today?" Shigure asked harmlessly with his usual affable smile.

My thoughts were a jumble. Stammering, I answered, "Oh, well, uh let me just look at my notes here…" I made my way around my desk and took my seat, quickly shuffling through papers until I pulled out his folder. As I opened it, I could see out of the corner of my eye Shigure raise an eyebrow with interest; I immediately knew that he could tell that something was up. Yet, I ignored this as I attempted to say with composure, "According to my notes, it seems we left off on helping you deal with your sometimes selfish whims and trying to understand this need you have to perhaps manipulate other people."

"I heard Yuki and Kyou came by earlier this week?" Shigure suddenly changed the subject.

"Yes, they did."

"And how did it go?"

"Fine," I replied curtly but pleasantly. As difficult as it was, I always tried to remain calm and cheerful when I met with Shigure, for I knew what he was looking for was to get a rise out of me, as was characteristic of those who tended to act out as instigators (if only I had the opportunity to let his editor know that). I immediately went back to the subject at hand, "Now, returning to –"

"Ha'ri came by yesterday, didn't he?" Shigure interrupted. "I saw him afterward; I must admit, he did seem rather grumpy…"

"Oh, really?" I responded as nonchalantly as I could, "I can't say I noticed." Then, I once again returned to our original discussion, hoping that maybe I could possibly get him to also begin talking about his relationship with Akito. "But, as I was saying, why do you feel this need to act out on your selfish impulses?" Despite my efforts, I was still stammering; in fact, I was sure I appeared nervous and preoccupied throughout the entire session.

Shigure noticed it, too. He inquired; "Are you all right, Kazuki? Something bothering you?"

"No, I – " I became a bit flustered, but made an effort to assure him, "I just want to help you through overcoming your selfish urges and – "

"Akito told you, didn't she?" A smirk slowly crept on his face.

"What?" I quickly glanced down at my notes and began to write something (nothing all that substantial, might I add), in order to avoid eye contact, and plainly said, "Oh, I'm sorry, but you know I can't discuss my other patients with you. Now, it seems that, according to my notes - "

"I can tell. No wonder she knocked down the bookcase."

"I just told you that I can't – "

"Yes, I am in love with Akito. And, yes, I slept with Ren."

I broke my pencil point accidentally as he made this declaration and then looked up at him. Simply, I asked, "Why?"

Shigure just laughed and stood up. "Oh, I'm sure you'll figure it out one of these days. You're the psychiatrist – the _doctor _(he had a tendency to tease me for not being a "real" doctor), after all!" His tone was uncharacteristically cold and harsher than he usually allowed it to be. However, with that, he made his way to the door, and I didn't bother to stop him. At last, the part of me that had wished I never even heard anything about the disturbing affair finally kicked in, so I just sat there and watched him leave. "Bye bye, Kazuki! See you soon!" he wished me farewell, returning to his friendlier voice, and was gone.

* * *

It took me about two hours to clean my office. Truth be told, I did take my time, as I found myself falling into deep reflection. Naturally, I thought plenty about what I had just learned regarding Akito and Shigure. However, I also found myself contemplating my family and the curse in general. Was this all they could hope for? Misery and suffering? And how could they not see that it was no curse inflicting them with such torment; they were causing their own pain – they were the ones who hurt each other. When was all their hatred and cruelty going to end? From Akito's destruction of Hatori's life to Shigure's condemnable behavior to Yuki's insecurities - as far as I could see, none of it stemmed from any curse but from selfish maliciousness. And, worse of all, all this pain they held within themselves was cumulating in illogical hatred for Kyou, a teenage boy who was forced to suffer the most for all of this preventable nonsense. 

Unfortunately, I had to reschedule my appointment with Ritsu due to the unexpected mess, which resulted in quite a hysterical scene in the hall right outside my office. Ritsu was, as always, very apologetic, and I tried my best to reason with him that he had nothing to be sorry for. This only caused him to apologize more for not heeding my advice from previous sessions in regards to controlling his impulse to always apologize when faced with apparent confrontation. It took me about twenty minutes to finally calm him down, reschedule our appointment for the next day, assure him that he need not make it up to me by cleaning my office for me, and finally escort him out.

Once I finished arranging my bookcase to its proper order, I left my office for the day. Due to the fact that my practice was located at my family's main estate, it didn't take me long to trot over to my mother's residence for an early dinner. Upon entering her modest home (particularly in comparison to some of my other relatives' houses), I threw off my shoes and my tan suit jacket and called out, "Mother, I'm here!"

"Kazuki? Kazuki, is that you?" she shouted from the second floor and soon came staggering down the stairs, raven hair disheveled and beaming as she greeted me, "Oh, Kazuki I just had the most fantastic vision! A little bird just came to me and told me – " she stopped short and eyed me suspiciously, "What's wrong? You look exhausted."

"I am," I muttered, as my nose caught the smell of something burning in the kitchen. "Mother, did you leave dinner cooking in the kitchen again?" I questioned with annoyance, brushing past her and quickly making my way to the kitchen.

"Oh, I must have forgot about that…" she trailed off lightly and not very fazed, and she slowly followed me.

I entered her kitchen to find it filled with black smoke. Coughing, I barked, "Damn it, mother!" With urgency, I pushed through the dark cloud and to the oven, turned it off, grabbed a glove, and pulled out what was left of dinner, placing the hot tray on top of the stove. "So much for dinner," I stated harshly as I opened up a window. The smoke slowly began to clear out of the room to the outside.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, lowering her head.

Sighing, I said, "It's fine - don't worry about it. I've just had a rough day is all." I retreated to the dining area and plopped tiredly on the floor by the table.

"Well, what happened?" my mother inquired, scurrying after me and kneeling across the table.

"I'd tell you if I could, but you know I can't," I explained miserably as I rested my elbow on the table and my head in my hand. Then, I asked, "What do you think of our family?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Just that."

"Well, we are very, very cursed, you know…it's such a sad thing, a curse such as this one. But I know you'll save us, dear; the little birdy was just telling me all about it this morning! And what a vision!"

I groaned. "I'm sorry, but I'm really just not in the mood…"

"The bird told me you would be in a sour mood today, you know," she said in her sing song voice, "But you mustn't lose your spirit! Ume told me so – "

"Ume?"

"That's the bird's name, Kazuki."

"Of course…" I muttered. After that, I stopped paying attention, but she went on anyway about the bird and her vision, which she attempted to use to rationalize the disaster in the kitchen. Eventually, I interrupted her and asked, "What do you think about Kyou, mother?"

"Huh?" I had broken her out of her trance.

"Kyou - do _you _think he deserves to be locked up?"

My mother looked at me confused. "Why, he is the cat, Kazuki dear."

At this, I snapped. "What is wrong with everyone?" I exclaimed, "Are you all insane? He's not 'the cat;' he's a _person_. _A person! _I can't believe you all are living your lives based on some _stupid _folktale! It's just a story!"

"Oh my…" my mother uttered, hands beginning to shake frantically.

I frowned. "Please, don't be upset mother; I didn't mean to shout." My mother nodded, and I continued, "It's just that it's so wrong and completely irrational; why can't anyone else see it?"

"Kazuki," my mother said with a sympathetic smile but very worried eyes, "You mustn't speak such blasphemy. What trouble you will bring yourself! You have gotten yourself so very lost and confused, don't you see?"

I moaned but before I could respond the door to my mother's house flung open and a voice called out. "Why, Aunt Tomiko, darling, are you home? I just thought I come by for a quick, little visit!" I immediately recognized the voice to be Ayame's, who let himself in and found his way to where we were. As soon as he saw me, he said, "Oh, Kazuki, I didn't expect to find you here! Now, I know you told me that I should call before just showing up, but I have you know that I wanted to surprise your darling mother, so I really was, in actuality, being very considerate of her feelings, see?"

"Sure…" I humored him.

"Oh, and I suppose I should apologize for missing our last appointment. Don't worry, though - I'll be certain to reschedule!" he added before he sprung over to my mother, who had jumped to her feet to embrace him. "Aunt Tomiko! Did your lovely son let you know that he saw me the other day?"

"Why, no," my mother replied.

"I forgot," I admitted.

"Tsk, tsk," Ayame said with a grin, "How awful of you! I confess, though, I almost forgot to come by, but then I saw a thick black cloud coming from your home, as if a sign from the heavens above!"

"Really?" my mother beamed, "Why, it was a sign! You see, I had a vision – I was just telling Kazuki about it – and Ume instructed me to remain upstairs for the afternoon _no matter what_. See, Kazuki, I told you; dinner was no fault of my own! There is little one can do when destiny has already made plans of its own!"

For once in my life, I actually agreed with my mother.


	7. Ritsu Sohma Session 108

Hey all! I really enjoyed this part, as Ritsu is such a fun character, in my mind. Once again, thank you to everyone who took the time to read, especially to those who read and reviewed! Thanks a bunch!

On aside note, someone I believed asked in a review about when Jesus knocks over the tables in the temple, and I kept forgetting to answer (sorry!). Anyhow, I should have probably made a reference when I first posted the chapter, but the Bible verses Akito is alluding to in Session 212 after Kazuki snaps at her for throwing a table at him ("Now you should apologize for throwing the table."; "Jesus never apologized!"; "That's because Jesus doesn't throw tables at people!"; "In here the Bible, it says he knocked over all those tables in the temple.") are Matthew 21.12-13, Mark 11.15-17, and John 2.13-17 (the incident at the temple is also discussed in Luke 19.45-46, but the part with Jesus knocking over the tables is not specifically mentioned in this Gospel). So, she actually did do her reading, after all (despite the fact that her interpretation is rather unorthodox)! Hope that helps!

Now, without further adieu, yet another session! As always, enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Ritsu; Session #108_

Some of my patients really could use the assistance of prescription drugs to help them lead normal lives. Ritsu was one of them. Although we had thoroughly discussed the emotional history behind his low self image, which manifested in his need to apologize constantly, he had yet to learn how to control his often hysterical outbursts. His tremendous anxiety and guilt was something that I was sure we could handle through proper counseling and possibly a sedative, but due to Akito, medication of any kind was completely out of the question. Despite this, I managed to remain optimistic with the hopes that I would somehow help Ritsu overcome his psychological burdens.

"Please, Ritsu, it's all right," I told him patiently, as I guided him back to the couch. I had just calmed him down from one of his frenzied rants (that almost had him jumping out the window, but gratefully I was able to professionally handle the situation), and Ritsu, exhausted it appeared, relaxed as soon as he sat. Meanwhile, I took my seat in my office chair, which I had moved from behind my desk and situated near the couch, and picked up my notes from the nearby end table (a new replacement for the one Akito had broken on me) where I had laid them. It had been a long session, or so it seemed, and it was finally winding down. Admittedly, the beginning half was my fault, since I foolishly apologized for having to reschedule our meeting, which resulted in his first of many hysterical tirades for the morning's meeting.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Kazuki," Ritsu apologized, a bit out of breath, "I know that you told me I must control my outbursts, but sometimes I just can't help it…"

"I understand, Ritsu," I replied sympathetically, making sure to add, "And you've come very far. Even today's session I believe has been rather successful."

"Do you really think so?"

I nodded, "Certainly. However, when someone has bottled up so much guilt inside of them for so long, it's a long process for them to overcome that guilt and start to respect themselves again. In your case, your guilt began in childhood, so it will take awhile, but as I said, you have come a long way already." Honestly speaking, I suppose I embellished a bit for Ritsu's sake, but at the same time, I recognized the importance of introducing him to positive thinking. I continued, "Now, how about we finish up for today, shall we?"

"All right," Ritsu replied meekly.

"Good," I smiled warmly, "Before I begin again, I just want to remind you that there's no need to apologize here; you may be completely honest and, as for myself, I am not here to judge you in any way, okay?"

"Okay."

"So, as I commented earlier - before you became upset - I noticed you wore women's clothes again to our meeting today. Is there a reason why?" I asked innocently. Immediately, I notice him growing ashamed, as he did when I brought the question up fifteen minutes earlier, which resulted in his tirade. Therefore, quickly, I reminded him; "And remember, there is absolutely no need to apologize."

Ritsu swallowed hard and nodded in compliance. Then, he said, "Well, Kazuki, I know I told you I was going to start dressing like a man, but I just felt I'd be more comfortable dressed as a woman, is all…"

"Comfortable in what way, Ritsu?"

"You know…so people don't expect as much from me…"

"I see." I jotted down some notes in his file. "Well, Ritsu, as I've told you in the past, there's nothing wrong with wanting to dress as a woman if you have certain inclinations in that direction. However, from what I've gathered from our sessions, it seems as if you don't have any desire to dress like a women, do you?"

"Not really," Ritsu admitted.

"Then, are you continuing to dress as a women as a way to perhaps hide from something?"

"Maybe…I guess I'm afraid to be a man…"

"And where does this fear come from Ritsu? Are you frightened that others won't accept you?"

"I'm sorry!" Ritsu suddenly blurted and I could sense one of his outburst coming on. "I'm sorry that I'm dressed this way! I'm such a pathetic –"

"Shh…" I hastily hushed him, "It's okay, Ritsu. Remember, no apologies?"

He quieted with this and began, "Yes, I remember, Kazuki. I'm sor – " He bit his lip to prevent himself from finishing.

"Good, Ritsu, good," I praised him and asked, "Now, if you recall, I told you that every time you feel the need to apologize, to try to step back calmly and analyze what's triggering those feelings of guilt in you. So, in this instance, why did you feel the need to apologize for?"

"It's just, well, I – I don't know," he stammered, blushing shamefully.

"Could it be maybe you were approaching a place that you felt might possibly lead to confrontation of sorts?"

"Yes, I guess I – " All or a sudden, the clock on my desk buzzed, signaling the end of the two hour session (yes, two _full _hours). Immediately, Ritsu jumped to his feet and exclaimed, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Kazuki! I should have never kept you so long! How can I be so inconsiderate! I'm sorry!"

He went on ranting as he hurried to my office's door and out into the corridor, as I got up to follow him. "Wait, Ritsu, it's all right!" I called after him from right outside the doorway.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He cried back from down the hallway and soon disappeared down the stairs.

"Please, you don't need to apologize!" However, it was no use and I could hear the door close from downstairs. Groaning, I fell back against the wall right by my door and put my hand to my head in the hopes to soothe my migraine.

Was it so much to ask to have just one successful session?


	8. Akito Sohma Session 214

As always, I really want to thank all of you who have taken the time, and especially those of you who take the time time to review. It means a lot to me and it makes me happy to know that there are people reading and enjoying my story.

Again, I'd like to repeat that my intentions are not to offend anyone when I use Christianity, but to just bring another layer to the story and to stay true to the characters I am writing.

Well, you all _knew _it was coming, so without further adieu, I give you another session with our favorite Sohma, Akito...

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_Patient – Sohma Akito; Session #214_

"I am Christ," Akito declared in an eerily distant voice. I had been jotting some notes at my desk when she suddenly said it, and I instantly looked over to her across the room, laying still on the couch. At first, I wasn't sure if I heard her right, for it was quite a statement for one to make, although I had enough experience to know not to put such a ludicrous claim past her either.

"Pardon?" I questioned cautiously; after all, the session had been oddly placid, especially when compared to our last meeting. Of course, that might have been because I had wisely decided to stay away from discussing Shigure, at least for the beginning of our session. Moreover, from the way Akito was acting, it appeared that she wanted to forget the whole thing took place at all.

"Don't you see, Kazuki?" She grinned. "I _am_ Christ. I wish I could be Lum, but no…I am a weak god…"

I hesitated for a moment. To be honest, I was surprised she was bringing up Jesus, as I was sure she had forgotten all about the New Testament. Nevertheless, I began, "In what way do you feel you're like Christ, Akito?"

"We were both born knowing that we must die. I will soon hang on a cross, as well."

"Ah, I see," I nodded in understanding, "I know it must be hard for you, carrying such a burden on your shoulder."

"You wouldn't know, would you?" she questioned severely, her eyes meeting mine with an icy glare.

"Well," I cleared my throat, "Not exactly in the way you do, no. However, in actuality, we are all born knowing that we will die. It's part of life, Akito. Unfortunately, in your case, you were told that you must die young, as is the case with many other individuals in this world. Despite this, it's important that one doesn't spend all of his or her time dwelling on this for, in the end, life is what you make it. Moreover, as far as I can tell, most of your sickness is psychological more so than a physical ailment -since you've been told you are sick and will die young, your mind is making you think you are sick when you are actually healthy. Therefore, how about today we begin working together on helping you overcome your fear of death so that you may begin to enjoy your life in a positive and constructive way?" Akito did not respond and I could tell she was not paying attention, so with much annoyance, I said, "Akito, I can't help you if you don't listen to me at least once and a while."

Yet, Akito still paid me no heed. Instead, she asked, "But who will be my Judas?"

"Your Judas?"

"Yes, Kazuki…which one of my disciples will betray me?"

"Akito, when I gave you the Bible to read, I didn't mean for you to – "

"Will it be Yuki? Hatori, maybe? Or will it be _him_? Will Shigure be the one to hand me over to the hands of death?"

I sighed. "Akito, you mustn't become paranoid – "

"Who do you think it will be, Kazuki? Which one of them will betray me?"

"I don't think – " I started but stopped myself, trying my best to figure out how to properly answer the question. Then, I began again, "Akito, I think it's important you begin trying to handle your issues of mistrust. I don't believe anyone will 'betray' you. However, at the same time, I'm not so sure you wouldn't incorrectly analyze independent behavior on one of their parts as disloyalty. As I've said in the past, you need to first develop a feeling of some level of control over your own life so that you may start to overcome this need to control other people's lives."

"So you say…" Akito eyed me suspiciously, "But Shigure has already betrayed me - I told you that. You seem afraid to mention _that_ again."

"No, of course not," I replied promptly, "I think we should discuss it – calmly and rationally, that is. In that way, maybe we can gain a further understanding of why you are so mistrusting and then help you grow from there."

"No."

I blinked, surprised, "No?"

Akito stood up now and said, "I said 'no.' I don't want to discuss it with _you_."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because there is nothing to discuss. You are naïve to think that they can be trusted. They are all disloyal, all of them. It is up to me to keep them loyal, to keep them from betrayal. I will not be Christ, Kazuki. No, I will not foolishly wait to be killed. I will find my Judas and his _silver _and destroy them both if I have to."

"His silver?" I asked, for the way her voice had said it left me rather apprehensive. "Do you have something particular in mind when you referred to that?"

Akito let out a chuckle, twisted smirk on her face. She strolled over to the clock at the edge of my desk and moved the time forward until it buzzed. "Too bad - time's over."

"Now, Akito, I think it's important that we talk about this further," I tried to reason as she turned away from me and to the door.

"Thanks for the reading, Kazuki - it _was_ quite applicable, after all. Until next time…" Her voice trailed off. "Oh, and Kazuki?"

"Yes," I answered as patiently as I could, as it was taking quite a bit of energy to let her just get up and leave.

"You better not be enticing any of my disciples with your own pieces of silver," she warned sardonically. She did not look at me when she said it, her back facing me, but I could feel the seriousness of her threat. I didn't say anything to this; instead, I just swallowed hard and nodded weakly. She lingered at the doorway for awhile, back still facing me, and soon left me alone in my office.

Leave it to Akito to even make something like Jesus sound twisted.


	9. Haru Sohma Session 59

Thanks again everyone! Your support is always appreciated!

RedCrow1120 - Thank you so much for your interest in my fanfic, for all your reviews, and for taking the time to give me your input and ideas! In truth, I had considered and tackled with the issue of having Tohru also have some sessions with Kazuki, especially because I like her character so much. However, ultimately, I decided that as much as I would like to, I didn't think I could make it make sense, since Kazuki is supposed to only be working for his own family, the Sohmas. In my mind, it seemed unlikely that Akito (who, as Kyou points out, is the one forcing everyone to see Kazuki) would allow Tohru to participate and, thus,the whole thing would seem a bit forced. In addition, I also have a large portion of the story already written and right now I'm just working on finishing it up. That being said, Tohru will show up, but just not in a session with Kazuki. However, I really appreciate your suggestion and I hope that you continue to enjoy my story, even though Tohru won't have a session!

Next up is Haru...another fun chapter to write, on my end! Hopefully, it's just as enjoyable on your ends!

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_Patient – Sohma Hatsuharu; Session #59_

My sessions with Haru were always peaceful, pleasant, and, ultimately, absolutely pointless. Simply put, we just didn't get anywhere. He would just sit very placidly as I tried to help him work through his bipolar (borderline multiple personality disorder) personality. Yet, this proved to be very difficult, as Haru seemed to have selective memory in regards to his "Black" Haru incidents and never once did he give into his more aggressive, violent tendencies during our meetings. So, I didn't have much to work with except a vague family history which he had shared with me during our third session, involving him being ridiculed as a child. While this bit of information did prove useful to some extent in our discussions, at the same time, I didn't think it really adequately explained his rather drastic split personality, as a mental instability of such a drastic nature as that usually required either a chemical imbalance of some sorts (and unfortunately, any sort of medication was ruled out) or a very shocking and traumatic event in childhood. Of course, I'll be the first to admit that such cruel mocking experienced in childhood can have great repercussions on one's adult life, but it usually results in emotional issues revolving around low self-esteem; never had I read about such experiences leading to the development of two separate and exceedingly different personalities. Still, as I didn't have much to go on, since I had no experience with this supposed "Black" Haru myself (and I would never rely too heavily on hearsay), I kind of just went through the motions (as ashamed as I am to admit this) during my sessions with the teenage boy.

"I don't know why I can't control it," Haru explained (as he did so many times before; to be honest, our meetings had also become very repetitive), "It's just something that comes over me, I guess."

"Well, according to my notes…" I began, flipping through a few pages, "You told me in the past that usually you need to be 'provoked' to become this 'Black' Haru?" I was hoping to confirm my conclusion that perhaps Haru suffered from passive-aggressive behavior, although somehow an exaggerated interpretation of it had been developed by my family, since they were less familiar with this rather common behavior.

"Yes, that's true, I suppose," he answered rather stoically.

"So perhaps what we need to do is continue working on dealing with your anger; managing it, sort of speak, so you don't let it pile up until it overcomes you," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, for we had done this so many times in the past.

"All right, we can do that," Haru complied. "However…"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's just that I don't really feel angry."

"Hmm?"

"When I'm like this, that is. I don't feel like I'm trying to contain any sort of anger, because nothing really bothers or angers me."

"Oh, I see…" I trailed off. So much for my passive-aggressive theory, although I suppose I had tried it out at least a half a dozen times at other meetings, and it never really seemed to work out.

"It's almost like a switch, you know?" Haru went on, "I feel perfectly calm and then suddenly, there's a flash of anger. After that, I find myself 'waking up' I guess a while later having missed out on a good deal of time with only a hazy memory of what happened."

"And you are sure you don't take anything…?" I now questioned, albeit feeling a bit foolish for asking him if he was using drugs for the umpteenth time.

"Take anything?" Haru repeated tranquilly, sounding confused by the question.

"I mean, do you perhaps drink or eat something unusual before these sudden aggressive rages?" I clarified, but by his silence I could tell he still didn't get it, so I bluntly said, "Like a drug?"

"No," Haru answered, not at all phased by my suggestion.

"Okay, then," I stated, as if I had made some sort of new discovery, and I wrote it down and my notes, even though I had previously written down the same answer countless times.

"Haven't you asked me that before?" Haru inquired, semi-interested.

"Uh, I was just clarifying," I told him.

"Oh, okay." He seemed satisfied enough with my answer.

"So, we know you're not taking drugs, and you don't appear to be suffering from passive-aggressive tendencies, as in you're not bottling up frustration within you. And you don't remember these 'Black' Haru incidents?"

"Not really."

"But you think it's triggered by some kind of provoking? Could you give me an example?"

"I can't really remember anything specifically, no."

"That's okay," I replied as patiently as I could, although Haru didn't sound too apologetic about it to begin with. "So, as we've stated, your condition involves some sort of memory loss."

"Yes."

"Do you know what could possibly cause or trigger this memory loss?"

"I don't know. I suppose if I did know, then I wouldn't be forgetting all the time."

"I guess that would make sense…" I sighed and frowned. Then, pathetically I asked, "Haru, are you sure your friends aren't playing some kind of cruel joke on you?"

"What?"

"Never mind," I muttered, rubbing my temples as the headache I had throughout the session grew worse. Soon, I began to think that maybe Haru was the one playing the cruel joke on me, but I quickly shook away this thought and continued, "But you remember getting angry as a child, yes?"

"Yes, but Yuki helpled me with that - isn't that in your notes though?"

"Yes," I responded through gritted teeth, but remained pleasant despite my irritation, "I just wanted to clarify."

"You do that a lot," Haru noted nonchalantly.

"Well, it's a psychiatrist thing…" I lied pitifully in my defense. Continuing, I said, "Now, Haru, just to clarify one more thing – and I need you to answer this honestly – are you _sure _you're not exaggerating when you discuss 'Black' Haru?"

"How do you mean?"

"It seems, from your description, that 'Black' Haru is a radically different person than the person you are now, in your present state. Yet, while there are _certain _conditions that might explain this, from the information you've given me, most seem unlikely, so I'm not entirely confident that this 'Black' Haru exists as you've described him. So in order to continue progressing, I need to know is this 'Black' Haru just your way of personifying yourself when you get angry and maybe you're experiencing some sort of denial or are you positive that 'Black' Haru is, in fact, an alter ego of some sorts and is a completely separate person from who you are now?"

"If you want me to answer honestly, then all I can say is that Black Haru does exist as I've described. I know it's not the answer you want to hear, as you seem so skeptical and all, but that's the truth, and I can't change that," Haru answered coolly, this response having become the typical answer for that question, which I often have posed. However, he added with a shrug, "Maybe it has to do with the curse."

I laughed lightly at this, as if to make certain he knew I did not take him seriously. "Oh, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this all," I assured him. Then, as it all seemed so futile in spite of all my efforts, I decided to resort to lying once more; "Anyhow, I think we had a rather successful session today, so how about we wrap up early?"

"Sure," Haru answered. And that was that - it was always the same in the end, after all. As aforementioned, we never got anywhere during any of our sessions, and I had very little hope that we would get anywhere in the future (in actuality, the whole ordeal seemed to be symbolic of my entire practice). However, admittedly, the sad truth was that I still did have that hope, as little as it might have been. Sure, it had been dwindling, and my curiosity at his mental affliction had withered away into skepticism, but I continued clinging foolishly to the slight chance that I might actually be able to solve the baffling mystery (that is, if there was anything to solve in the first place or if he really was suffering from something like multiple personality disorder). In any event, I wouldn't be so quick to write the whole thing off as the just another sad side effect of the Sohma family curse; in the end, there was always a logical explanation for everything.


	10. Kagura Sohma Session 72

Thanks everyone, again! You guys rock!

Well, this session turned out differntly than I would have originally thought it would, considering it's a Kagura session and yet quite depressing. I suppose I could of made it more of a humorous fluff session, but in the end I'm glad I wrote it the way I did. It was nice to explore this side of Kagura, and I found the whole session to be rather meaningful, as well as insightful into the Sohma family mindset.

(RedCrow1120 - If it helps any, when I was initially planning to write the story, the pscyhiatrist was actually going to be a woman. However, by time I began writing it, I had changed the main character to be male, because Akito would never allow the Sohma men to see a female.)

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_Patient – Sohma Kagura; Session #72_

Kagura sat on the couch in my office, her head lowered as she stared at her lap. It was rare for me to see her this way, as she was usually much more energetic and much less solemn. Troubled, she managed to say, "I'm very sorry, Kazuki. I don't mean to be so conflicted."

"It's quite okay, Kagura," I ensured her, "That's what I'm here for; to help you through your problems. And it's natural for you to feel conflicted at your age with what you must cope with."

"You're being too nice," she told me, "I know you must think terribly of me."

I was quiet for a moment. Truth be told, I did think terribly of some of the things she said, despite the fact that as a professional I shouldn't make such judgments. Nevertheless, smiling warmly, I reassured her, "I don't think terribly of you, Kagura, but I do want to help you to grow as a person so you may begin living a better life. After all, I'm not here to judge you."

"But how can you not? Everyone judges other people," she answered bitterly, her teary eyes meeting mine. Yet, she soon lowered her gaze back to her lap and said softly, "You must really care about him. About Kyou, I mean."

"I care about everyone," I replied.

"But you care especially about him," Kagura argued, "I can tell. So can Yuki."

I frowned; was such a thing so obvious? After all, I never tried to pick favorites, and I always thought of myself to be fair and objective when dealing with all of my patients. At the same time, I realized that perhaps my effort to bring reason to my family might have been misinterpreted by some as favoritism toward Kyou for the simple fact that the imprisonment of a teenage boy based on a prejudice was so inherently illogical, not to mention ethically wrong. Hence, I told Kagura, "Although you and Yuki might see it differently, I truly do care about everyone equally."

"It's okay," Kagura said, "I am grateful for it. I wish I could care as much."

"But you do care, Kagura, don't you?"

"Yes, but for the wrong reasons! You told me so yourself."

I grimaced and tried to explain; "When I said that – well, what I meant was that you shouldn't have looked down on Kyou as a way to boost your own self worth. Instead you need to grow to respect yourself, which will lead to you growing to respect all people. I never meant for you to take that out of context. I see that you love Kyou now."

"But that was for the wrong reasons, too…"

"You were only a child, Kagura. It's understandable that you were frightened when you discovered Kyou's true form, and you were too young to deal with it in a more reasonable way and, unfortunately, more mature influences seemed to be far and in between. While, of course, forcing yourself to love someone is not the best way to cope with a troubling situation, at the same time, the fact that you felt guilt for the way you behaved shows that you must have cared about Kyou in some way all along, even if you thought you were just using him. And, as we can see, you've grown up to actually care about him very much, although the violent way in which you express this is something we still need to work on." I smiled for her and gave a soft chuckle at this last point, in the hopes to lift her spirits, but it didn't seem to succeed.

"I don't really care about him, though. Not really. If I did, then I wouldn't accept what is going to happen to him…"

I tapped my finger on my desk, carefully pondering how to answer her. Slowly, I started, "Well, Kagura, do you want to accept it?"

"No!" she cried, "I don't want Kyou to be locked up - I love him!"

"Then, why do you accept it?"

"Because, Kazuki…he's the cat," she answered weakly. I gave her a somber nod as I glanced out the window feeling suddenly overwhelmingly depressed; no matter how much I tried, I couldn't make them understand, not a single one. I hadn't brought any of them any reason, any sense of morality – I hadn't helped at all. I suppose Kagura could sense my disappointment, for she said, "I'm sorry, Kazuki. I know it's hard for you, because you don't understand. You're not one of the jyuunishi. You're not cursed like we are. It's such a heavy burden…but the cat, he has it worse, see? Knowing that, well, it makes the burden a little bit less for us. It gives us some sort of comfort to know that although it might be bad for us, at least the cat has it worse."

I gritted my teeth. Despite all my efforts, my feelings were getting the best of me. Swallowing hard, I interrogated harshly, "And that will make you feel better, will it? Locking up Kyou? Watching him suffer?"

Kagura bit her lower lip nervously. Then, very quietly, she whispered, "Yes."

"I see. And what will his comfort be, hmm? What will make him feel better?"

"I don't – " Kagura began, stopped, and then answered feebly, "He's the cat, Kazuki…"

"He's not 'the cat;' his name is Kyou. All any of you do is dehumanize him by referring to him in that way, as if it somehow covers up what's really going on -as if it somehow makes it okay."

Tears were now streaming down Kagura's face, "I'm sorry, Kazuki, I'm sorry. I wish I didn't feel the way I do, because I love him so much. I knew you thought terribly of me."

My severity melted then as I realized I had lost myself. I looked over at the crying girl and I felt the sharp waves of guilt. I had been behaving unprofessionally; I was judging when I knew it was unfair to do so. Thus, sighing, I said, "Kagura, I – I'm sorry. Please, don't cry. I told you before, I don't think terribly of you." Kagura, however, didn't answer. "Kagura, I was wrong to say what I said. It was unfair for me to act in that way. You came here to discuss your feelings and to receive my help, and I took advantage of that. It was unprofessional and unethical. I am very, very sorry. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Kagura nodded her head, wiping away her tears, "I understand."

"Okay," I said gently, and I got up to hand her a few tissues. Returning to my desk, I waited for her to finish composing herself. Once she had done so and was looking at me again (although her eyes were still red and a bit puffy), I asked, "How about we then continue with our discussion on controlling your aggressive behavior, all right?"

"Sure," she replied as brightly as she could and we then continued with the session. The whole time, though, I couldn't concentrate; guilt was gnawing at my conscious, twisting up my stomach and tightening around my throat. I was torn within my mind; I knew it was wrong for me to either judge or preach to my patients (and I felt terrible for having made Kagura cry), but, at the same time, it was killing me to remain so silent when such an obvious injustice was happening right in front of me. Moreover, it was becoming increasingly apparent that I couldn't control my own feelings anymore, and that both Kagura and Yuki had noticed (not to mention, I was sure Hatori had as well). With this revelation, I knew I could no longer ignore my unethical behavior, and it was up to me to restore integrity to my practice once more. Yet, how could I ignore what was so plainly wrong, so plainly illogical, and live with myself once the injustice had been done?

Kagura said I could not understand for I am not cursed as the jyuunishi are; however, I am most certain that all men are cursed who bear the terrible weight of a conscious.


	11. Momiji Session 87, Akito Session 215

Once more, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone! I am happy that my story is being enjoyed, and I am grateful that so many have taken the time to read and to review.

This is a combo chapter. I think it will make sense as to why it's set up this way as soon as you read it.

Enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Momiji; Session #87_

I don't know if it's fair to really call this a real session, but I suppose I will do so nonetheless. After all, I felt the most proud about the progress Momiji and I had made that, in the end, even part of a session with him seemed to be more productive than all of my other patients' sessions combined. Moreover, while Ayame's sessions remained my favorite, as his were, I have to admit, the most pleasant (since Ayame oddly didn't have the same emotional burden as all the others), Momiji's came in a close second, for in spite of the many hardships he had faced, his sessions still remained mostly optimistic and, more importantly, Momiji appeared to get something useful out of them, albeit not as much as I would like.

"I am really feeling much better about it, Kazuki, I really am. Well, I guess I still feel bad that I can no longer play, but I started trying to find ways to refocus my energy, like you suggested," Momiji was saying ten minutes into our session when the door to my office suddenly slowly creaked open. Once opened, it revealed Akito leaning lazily against the doorframe as her large robes fell off her right shoulder. Her expression was cold.

"Excuse me, Akito, but your session is not until later," I reminded her as congenially as I could.

"I'm here to see you," Akito declared in a low voice as she glared directly at me, "_Now_."

"I am sorry, Akito, but Momiji – " I tried to rationalize

"Must go," she concluded for me, now glancing over at Momiji, who at once looked frightened.

"It's okay, Kazuki," Momiji jumped to his feet, "I'll just come back later."

"No, please, sit down Momiji," I insisted, standing as well, although Momiji did not heed, "Akito will come back later." I turned back to Akito; "You can speak to me during your appointment in a couple hours, just like we scheduled."

"I am not waiting." Akito strolled into the office, passed Momiji, and slumped onto the couch. Her icy stare lingered on me. "I will see you now."

"Is this an emergency?" I then asked.

"Does it matter?" Akito retorted with anger in her voice, "I have already demanded it!"

Momiji had made his way to the door by this time and hastily said, "Don't worry about me, Kazuki! I'll be fine. You should really see Akito, now."

"But – " I protested in vain, Momiji waving goodbye and hurrying out the door. It closed loudly behind him.

Akito's stare remained locked on me and her cold face had not changed since she entered my office. Feeling uneasy, I sat back down in my chair and tried to avoid eye contact by staring at the papers on my desk. "So, Akito, what brings you here so abruptly?" I asked, as I attempted to conceal my anxiety over her sudden arrival.

"If you must know, Kazuki," Akito started, an unsettling glint in her eyes, "I wanted to talk to you about silver…"

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Patient – Sohma Akito; Session #215 _

"About silver?" I questioned, as I pulled out her folder to begin yet another meeting with her. To be honest, I had grown used to Akito's random interruptions of my sessions with other patients. However this time I felt very nervous, as Akito's expression was very serious and extremely cold. I suppose it must have been my psychiatric instincts, but I could tell something was different this time – yes, something was very wrong. Yet suddenly a strange smirk crept on her face, and she got up from the couch and walked toward my desk slowly.

"No…" she then began oddly, "That's not why I came here, Kazuki. No, not at all." Her grin grew a bit wider. "Actually, I came here to apologize."

I blinked in disbelief. "What?" I managed to choke out.

"I wanted to say I was sorry for the other day…for knocking down your bookcase…" A sort of cruel chuckle escaped her lips.

"Oh, well, thank you, Akito. I accept your apology," I said as genuinely as I could, although I had serious doubts about her sincerity as her disturbing smile widened further. Growing increasingly more uncomfortable as she reached my desk, I stood up and said, "I think it would be best if you went back to the couch, Akito."

Akito just let out some snickers and ignored me. Suddenly, her expression grew more grave, her smirk disappearing, as she stared at me once more. "Your hair…" she trailed off, and she raised her right hand toward my face. Then, quickly, she snatched a small bit of my hair and yanked it out exceptionally hard.

"Ow!" I cried out quite startled and instinctively I began rubbing the sore area with my left hand.

"I don't like your hair," Akito explained as she gazed down at the dark blonde strands, "It reminds me that your mother is a whore."

Still surprised and very worried, I suppressed my anger at her last comment and suggested as calmly as possible, "You should leave now."

"Will you feel better if I go back to the couch?" she asked, the smirk returning as she leisurely moved away from my desk.

"No," I answered truthfully, "I want you to leave. You may come back later when you are feeling better."

"I'm not finished!" she suddenly shrieked and I was taken aback. Quieting, she lethargically fell onto the couch, sprawling herself out. Holding out the strands of my hair in front of her, she studied it and remarked, "It really is quite ugly…"

Growing more impatient and tense, I asked, "What is it that you want, Akito?"

"I already told you."

"Well then, as I've already accepted your apology, there's no reason for you to stay here anymore."

Akito let out a malicious laugh. "You are such a fool, Kazuki, and so very easy to trick. How naïve you must be to think that I, a god, would apologize to _you_. Illegitimate wretch…"

Swallowing my pride, I accepted her insult and slowly sat down. After a moment, I inquired, hoping to regain my professional demeanor, "If you didn't come here to apologize, then why did you come? What's bothering you? Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Yes." Akito's gaze shifted in my direction, and her eyes were just as cold as they were when she first arrived. She violently clutched her hand around my hair, holding it in a tight fist. "I want to talk about silver."

"Silver?" I repeated, my anxiety becoming worse. "What about it?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I don't understand," I replied, as I quickly averted my eyes down at my notes and began writing to distract myself from her uncomfortable glare (I admit I had grown accustomed to this rather pathetic strategy).

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Akito shouted, rising at once, "_No more notes!_ You will pay heed to me now and always!"

"Yes, Akito," I complied reluctantly, placing down my pencil and forcing myself to look up at her.

"And you will answer me when I ask you a question, and you will answer me truthfully!"

"Yes, Akito."

"Why do you tempt my disciples with silver?"

"Akito, I don't know what you're – "

"I said truthfully! You will answer me truthfully!"

"Akito," I desperately tried to reason, "You're not making any sense, and as we've gone over, I'm quite concerned that this type of behavior is very negative and destructive – "

"Shut up!" Akito screamed and I fell silent almost instantly. "I know that you're feeding their minds with poison."

"Akito, I don't – "

"Devil! Dirty, disgusting, devil! That's what you are! Tempting them with silver! But you thought I wouldn't find out, did you? You thought I wouldn't learn about what you've been telling _him_."

"Telling who?"

"You're a fool, Kazuki, a true fool," Akito finally lowered her voice, "To make it so easy for me to find…"

"Find? Akito, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, yes you do!" she yelled again, "Don't you lie to me, devil! It's all there," she pointed a wavering finger at my desk, "All in your _notes_."

My eyes widened at this revelation. For all my worry and fear, my anger was immediately greater and I stood up, eyes narrowing crossly, "You read my files?"

"Of course I did."

"Those are confidential. You had no right to read them. That's a violation of my patients' privacy."

"Do you think I'd be so easily tricked, Kazuki? That I'd just let you hide your dirty secrets about how you're working against me?"

"First of all, I'm not working against you, but that's really not the point," I answered frustrated and demanded, "Which ones did you read?"

Akito hesitated. I noticed that her expression altered a bit; it seemed as if she wasn't expecting my reaction to be as angry as it was, and she was both troubled and confused by it. Immediately, I could tell that she had not been expecting to be yelled at, disciplined, or even accused of doing anything wrong and now that I had turned the tables on her, sort of speak, she had become rather uncertain. "I only read the cat's…it was enough for me to figure out the truth about you…" she trailed off, as if a child trying to rationalize her crime before an angered parent. However, then she exclaimed, "Now, explain yourself!"

"I don't have to explain anything to you," I snapped, losing all patience "It's none of your business!"

"Everyone in this family is my business!" Akito yelled back, "Now explain it!"

Sighing, I just shook my head and answered almost unenthusiastically, since I knew I wasn't getting through to her, "I can't do that - there are strict principles I must adhere to regarding patient confidentiality. You weren't supposed to read it in the first place."

"I see…" Akito mumbled, her rage finally beginning to diminish as well, and the flicker of uncertainty I noticed just moments before became more apparent. She eyed me suspiciously for a bit, yet it seemed as if she realized she wasn't going to get anything more out of me, either. With this, she lingered a bit by the couch before heading toward the door. Once reaching it, she turned to give me one final glare before leaving.

As she left, she let go of my hair, letting it slowly fall to the ground, and stated, "I still don't like your hair…"


	12. Yuki Sohma Session 125

As always, thank you to all those who read and to all those who review. It's greatly appreciated! I hope you all continue to get something out of my story!

Next up, Yuki returns...enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Yuki; Session #125_

Yuki had something on his mind. He wasn't saying anything about it, but I could tell from the expression on his face and from his mannerisms. I decided, though, it would be best to wait it out than to question him on it, because I was certain that he would bring it up himself during the session. All I had to do was carry along the discussion, and I felt positive that we would have a breakthrough, one that would perhaps assist Yuki in tackling and overcoming many of the emotional burdens he carried from his past.

"And why do you feel this need to please people so much, Yuki?" I asked.

"I want people to like me, I suppose," Yuki answered hesitantly.

"That's understandable, of course. Everyone wants people to like them, and it's important to be considerate of other people's feelings. However, at the same time, you don't want to compromise who you are, either. Are you afraid people won't like you if you're yourself?"

"No, I – I am myself," he replied awkwardly.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"In the past you've told me that you put on a façade for others," I reminded him.

"I guess sometimes," Yuki admitted. Then, he said, "I'm sorry, it's just that I don't feel very comfortable talking about this."

"I understand," I smiled sympathetically, "But remember, everything discussed here stays completely confidential." My voice wavered a bit as I completed my sentence. I had been sure in the past that all my sessions were confidential, but now I was filled with uncertainty. Akito had found a way to look through my patients' files, although I had them locked away in a locked office. And while she had told me she had only read Kyou's, I wasn't positive whether or not that was true or if she had in reality read more (and if it was true, why did she choose Kyou's – "the cat's" – out of all of them to read). Ever since our very disconcerting session that morning, it had plagued my thoughts. Even after I relocated all my files to the safety of my home, where they were locked up tightly (except for the ones I would be using for the rest of the day, which I kept in my briefcase), I still felt as if they were unsafe. What's more, in all honesty, I wanted to question her more on it, but admittedly, was too frightened to do so. I knew she was unstable, and she needed some time to cool off (as did myself, truth be told) before I confronted her on it (in a calm and collected manner, of course). That left me with having to wait it out as all my questions gave me uncontrollable anxiety.

Yuki just nodded in response and glanced away, so I went on. "Well, is there anyone you do feel comfortable around, Yuki? Is there anyone who you can be yourself around?"

"Yes…there is someone - Miss Honda."

"That's good, Yuki, really very good. Now, what is it about this girl that makes you feel that you can be honest with her as opposed to other people?"

"I guess…I guess because she doesn't judge me or anyone else. It doesn't matter what flaws I might have, because she'll see right past them - she finds the good in everyone and everything. She is just a very caring, special person."

I grinned. "She sounds so," I told him. "And it's good for you to have a person like her in your life – someone you can open up to and be yourself with. You know, though, just as this girl likes you just the way you really are, you'll find that there are plenty of other people in this world who will also find the same good qualities in you if you let them."

"Perhaps that's true, Kazuki, but I'm afraid that I just can't believe it. As I said, she is a very special person. I don't believe that others could accept me in that same way, since I am the way I am."

"Why do you feel that way, Yuki?"

"Because I'm cursed with the rat. People will never understand that. And if – if I'm myself, they won't accept me, either. But people like people who are pleasant and agreeable, so that's what I strive to be."

"I'm sorry, but I'd have to disagree. People will like you as you truly are, if you give them a chance to. Can I ask you, though, when you started developing these thoughts? Can you remember?"

"Well, I, um," Yuki stuttered, becoming flustered. Finally, he said, "No, I don't remember. I've always felt this way."

"Are you sure?" I further questioned, easily realizing he wasn't being entirely honest.

"Yes, I'm sure," he confirmed, but he wouldn't look at me when he answered.

We were quiet for a moment. At last, I thought it was time to finally ask what was bothering him, as I was sure it had to do with what we had been discussing. "Yuki, is there something on your mind?"

"Huh?"

"It's just that you seemed maybe a bit preoccupied during our session and I thought something might be bothering you – something you might want to discuss?"

Yuki blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to seem distracted."

"Oh no, it's perfectly all right," I assured him, "Really, it is. But I think it's important that you share what's been troubling you, so that we may work through it together."

"Well, actually," Yuki started reluctantly, "If you want to know, I was just wondering what happened here this morning?"

I blinked, surprised. "What?"

"Did something happen this morning, Kazuki?"

Now it was my turn to become flustered. "Why, whatever do you mean?" I feigned innocence.

"I heard Akito came by although his session wasn't until later in the afternoon."

"Yes, Akito was here…" I trailed off awkwardly. Then, I stated firmly, "But that's actually confidential."

"Oh," Yuki replied. "It's just that Momiji told us that there was a bit of a commotion. He didn't mean to overhear, but he said that there was some shouting…"

I cringed at the word "us;" how many people knew about Akito's visit to my office that morning? Swallowing hard, I managed to say, "Oh really?"

"Yes. Did you two have some sort of an argument?"

"No, I mean yes, but – I can't discuss this with you."

"I'm sorry," Yuki quickly apologized but added, "Can I just ask you one thing, though?"

"Um, sure," I replied with uncertainty.

"Is it true that Akito reads your session notes, Kazuki?"

I grimaced. That was one question I didn't want to answer. Forcibly, I stated, "No, that's not true. No one is allowed to read my notes, as they are confidential like I told you." I knew, in all actuality, that was a lie, but I was desperate to protect the integrity of my practice. After all, it's not like I _let _Akito read my files or that I didn't keep my confidential files locked up in the first place. Furthermore, I had just moved them to where I hoped would be a more secure location to further prevent anyone from reading them. Yet, despite this, I knew that Akito had read some of my notes – how much was still unclear – and that I should notify my patients of this possible breach, but for some reason (fear, pride, I do not know) I could not admit it.

"Okay," Yuki said, but he seemed unconvinced,. I couldn't blame him, though, since he had heard an account from Momiji about my session with Akito that morning. Immediately, I regretted having lied, for I knew I was damaging my practice's integrity more for not just being honest about the whole ordeal.

"So, then, um, where were we?" I started awkwardly once more, "Oh yes, we were discussing how you began developing your thoughts of insecurity, weren't we?"

"Yes, we were, but – " Yuki stopped and frowned.

"But?"

"I suppose I still don't feel comfortable talking about any of this right now," he hastily answered, before adding, "I'm sorry, Kazuki."

"No, I – I understand," I replied pleasantly, smiling and saying, "Why don't we move on then…" After that, our conversation spiraled into what best could be described as superficial prattle and a surface amiability, which underneath laid a terrible discomfort. Throughout, I felt waves of guilt, frustration, and dread, all stabbing at my insides and climbing up my throat. I had not been lying when I said I did understand, for in fact, I understood all to well. Yuki had plainly said it, even if he did so with a polite euphemism; all trust had been lost. Whatever he believed prior to session #125 didn't matter, because after it I was sure he had no faith whatsoever in my practice's confidentiality and, therefore, he would never be honest with me again. As a result, I knew all hope of progress was lost, and I was certain that I could expect similar reactions from my other patients once word got to them about Akito's violation (which, as it seemed, already had spread rather quickly).

In the end though, I could not blame Yuki for his reaction nor could I bring myself to be bitter, as much as I had wanted to convince myself that he was being unreasonable and unfair. After all, he already held so much fear toward Akito (why, it appeared, I would never fully learn), and I knew that the thought of her reading what he spoke about with me must have terrified him even more into putting on an act. Not to mention, I'm sure he had me figured to be a liar, and I guess rightfully so, although I doubted he took much time to be sympathetic toward my unfortunate situation nor the fact that I had very little control over what Akito had done.

With all that being said, I'd have to say the disappointment stung the harshest; it was safe to say, that all my hopes to save my family were crushed entirely that late afternoon. What was left was a strange and empty hole deep within me.


	13. Kyou Sohma Session 125

Sorry it took a few days to get this chapter up - school just started up and things are pretty crazy on campus!

Anyhow, thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! As always, it is greatly appreciated!

Next up is another session with Kyou! Enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Kyou; Session #125_

My feelings of regret and disillusionment grew worse as Yuki left, his session finished, and Kyou strolled in, ready to begin his own. I knew he would be coming (as his session always followed Yuki's or vica versa, since both of them were typically scheduled for the late afternoon following their school day), and I was certain the session would get messy. Fortunately, though, Kyou had not been informed of my miserable session with Akito early that morning (it was perhaps the only time I was grateful that Kyou was ostracized by my family for being the cat), and he came in with something very different on his mind.

Taking a seat on the couch and crossing his arms, he spoke quite defensively before I could even get a word out; "Listen, I'm not going, all right?"

"What?"

"I'm not going away. I'm not traveling or anything. And that's that."

"How come?"

"It's just not for me, okay? I'm not smart like you are, and I could never get into one of those super-elite universities you went to, Oxford and whatever else it was. I'm too stupid, so just forget it."

"But Kyou, firstly, you are a smart person, and secondly, there are plenty of schools abroad that you could attend – Oxford and Harvard aren't the only ones, you know. What does Kazuma think about all this?"

"Nothing – it doesn't matter, because I can't go, so just drop it."

"What do you mean 'can't?'"

"I just can't!" Kyou exclaimed sharply and turned his head from me, his face growing pink with embarrassment. For a moment, I smiled. It didn't take a doctorate in psychology for me to analyze what was going on for it was written plainly across his face; Kyou was in love. Admittedly, my heart did feel warm at the sweet thought of two young innocents falling in love for the first time, but of course my practicality soon reminded me that Kyou's well-being also should take precedence over teenage romance.

Yet, while I'd typically argue the point further, as well as eagerly discuss his new (and hopefully positive) infatuation, I could not bring myself to do so that afternoon. Although Kyou's entrance and blunt declaration had pushed it to the back of my mind, it did not take long for me to remember that Kyou was still not aware of Akito's transgression. Moreover, while I had wrongfully lied to Yuki, my ethics would not permit me to be deceitful again. Guilt had already seemed to have overcome me during Yuki's session, and now I was desperate to free myself of its strangling hands. I needed to confess, make myself honest again and restore my integrity. At the same time, I was very worried to do so, since I was positive his reaction would be anything but good.

I suppose my own thoughts and fears had consumed me to the point where I didn't even realize that a long period of silence had begun. Kyou anxiously glanced over to me with suspicion and finally said, "You're being awfully quiet. Aren't you going to argue with me or something?"

"Oh, I – " Snapping out of my daze, I started, "Uh, actually, Kyou, there's something I need to talk to you about…"

Kyou's eyes narrowed. "Yeah?"

At first, I tried to make light of it by letting out a laugh, but my nervousness was sickeningly obvious. Immediately, I choked on my laughter and broke out into a bit of coughing fit. Clearing my throat, I decided on a more serious but remorseful approach and said, "It has to do with Akito."

"Akito?"

"Yes, and um, you."

Kyou's expression became much more frightened with this as his face turned white. He swallowed hard and asked apprehensively, "Did Akito say something about me? Am I in some kind of trouble?"

"Uh, no…well, sort of…it's kind of confusing…" I trailed off awkwardly. I wanted to say that I was the one who was really in trouble, but I wisely decided not to.

"What's going on?" Kyou demanded in a loud voice, rising to his feet and clenching his fists.

"Now, remember Kyou, we discussed that it was negative of you to resort to yelling in times when you felt insecure and – " I swallowed hard, feeling foolish, and quickly muttered, "Never mind. It's just, well…" I glanced away, not knowing how to put it. After all, the last thing I needed was another loud argument, the news of which would quickly spread to the rest of my family no doubt.

Trying to calm himself down, Kyou relaxed his fists and said in a less harsh tone, "Listen, Kazuki, will you just let me know what's going on?"

"Okay," I complied. Then I took a deep breath and said, "Akito read your file."

Kyou at first widened his eyes in shock, but that was soon replaced with fury, as he leaned forward with clenched fists and gritted teeth. "Akito did what?"

"Well, actually, it's kind of a funny story," I said stupidly with a weak chuckle.

"Funny? You think this is funny?" Kyou raged.

Immediately, I grew serious once more and said lamely, "No, Kyou. No, this is not funny at all."

"How could you let Akito read my file?"

For a moment, my own temper flared and I stood up, placing my hands on my desk, and stated, "I did not _let _Akito read your file. It was done without me knowing, and I only found out about it this morning."

"Well, don't you keep these things locked up?"

"_Yes_."

"Then how come Akito was able to read them?"

"I don't know. I assure you, however, that I've relocated all my patient files, so they'll be even more secure."

"Some help that is!"

"Listen," I said more calmly, inhaling deeply and attempting to be less defensive, "I understand you must be upset – "

"I can't believe this," Kyou interrupted, "I can't believe this! As if our lives aren't interfered with enough! Now Akito knows everything – _everything._" With that last statement, it suddenly seemed that the full meaning of what had happened struck Kyou harshly like an unforgiving wave. Slowly, he sat back down on the couch, becoming as white as newly fallen snow. "I'm in so much trouble…" he said quietly.

I sat down as well, feeling worse than I did before and even more guilty. I started to think that perhaps it would've been better if Kyou never knew and that I had just been selfish in confessing, since I was only thinking of making myself feel better. Of course, I knew that honesty was always the best way to handle a situation (or so I had been taught), but I seriously began to doubt that mantra, especially as I studied the frightened boy sitting across from me. Couldn't ignorance be bliss in some cases? Immediately, I knew that such an idea was wrong, but in the back of mind I couldn't help but prefer that easy way out. Yet, by this point, it was too late to reconsider that route, unless I foolishly lied and said I had been joking all along, something which I was certain would just contribute to more paranoia on his part. Carefully, therefore, I began, "Please, Kyou, how about we - "

"How could you let this happen?" Kyou asked softly, but his tone was severe. His voice quivered as he continued, "You said I could trust you. You're always going on and on about how everything we discuss is kept private, how I have nothing to worry about. You _lied_."

"Kyou, Kyou, I'm so sorry," I apologized. With every word he had spoken, I had felt more terrible to the point where my guilt was making me feel physically sick. I had no more desire to try to rationalize what happened, shift the blame, defend myself. In the end, I knew I was the one accountable, because it was my responsibility in the first place. I had failed to fulfill my professional obligation to keep my patients' files confidential, one of the most crucial responsibilities trusted to a psychiatrist. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I hadn't just failed in that aspect; I had, ultimately, been a complete failure during my entire time counseling my family. Not only had I accomplished nothing, I had succeeded brilliantly in making things worse.

At once, I felt even more miserable and guilty for feeling sorry for myself. After all, with Kyou in such a frightened, dejected state due to my ineptness, it was selfish on my part to start sulking. Quickly, I tried to refocus my thoughts and offered, "I know right now you probably don't want to talk to me, but I'm willing to discuss this with you and together I'm sure we can work it out."

Kyou seemed less angry as he listened to me, his rage being replaced by sheer distress, and he looked at me with desperate eyes; "What am I going to do, Kazuki? Akito must be – I'm in so much trouble…" he trailed off. He fell into deep thought, and I respectfully remained silent. Then suddenly it appeared as if something had dawned on him, and he looked over at me and simply said with an odd sort of relief, "But you. "

"Uh, yes?" I inquired, a bit uncertain.

"Well, you must be in a whole lot more trouble than I am."

I can't say what it was, but his statement felt as if someone had kicked me hard in the stomach. My whole body seemed to grow numb for an instance, and a strange cold crawled beneath my skin. "What do you mean?"

"It's just that when I think about it, you said a lot more stupid things than I did, since I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. Akito must be pretty mad at you."

To be honest, I hadn't thought much about how mad Akito was at me or how much trouble I would be in. Sure, Akito was angry with me in the morning, something which she made very clear, but I had gotten so upset myself that I forgot to worry about whether or not she was still angry. What's more, as I was so busy concerning myself about protecting my patients' confidentiality, I didn't take the time to actually contemplate the specifics of what she had read in Kyou's file and how they could have enraged her so much. However, with Kyou bringing it up, the memories of her shrieking, claiming I was the "devil," and that eerie look in her eyes quickly came back to me. Suddenly, I recognized that perhaps Akito's fit that morning was only the beginning of something much larger (although I lamely tried to convince myself that such thoughts were preposterous and would only lead to paranoia). Yet, despite my new worries, I replied, "Yes, well, uh, Akito and I settled all that this morning…"

Wide-eyed with surprise, Kyou said, "You did?" I nodded in confirmation. "And you're sure Akito read _everything_?"

"Yes…"

"And Akito's not angry with you at all?"

"Uh…well, I suppose not…I don't think we should talk about this anymore."

"Wow," Kyou relaxed a bit. "That's impressive. Maybe you're better at all this than I thought."

Swallowing hard, I managed a weak smile. "Thank you, I guess."

"That doesn't mean I'm not still angry," Kyou hastily reminded me, "And that doesn't mean I trust you anymore, either. I'm just happy to know that Akito took it okay." I tried my best not to grimace. He stood up then and said, "Well, I'm leaving now, because there's nothing really left to talk about, and I really don't feel like lying more than usual."

"Lying?"

"Yeah, lying. It's a good thing too, because then I would have said some really stupid things that I'm sure you would have gone and told Akito about."

"But Kyou, you have to be honest during our sessions," I explained in vain, "We can't have any progress if you lie to me."

Kyou shrugged and walked toward the door, "It's no big deal to me. I only go to these stupid things because Akito makes us go, for whatever reason. I can handle my problems on my own, especially without other people reading about them."

"Kyou, I said I was sorry."

"A lot of good that does, though," he muttered coldly and left me alone in my office, with nothing but my own guilt, fear, and misery to keep me company.


	14. Akito Sohma Session 216

Sorry everyone that it's taking a bit longer than usual for me to update; school really has been keeping me busy!

Thanks all for reading and reviewing! As always, it is greatly appreciated and I'm very grateful!

Well, Akito's back, but then again, I'm sure you all knew it was coming...

Anyhow, I think this session might shed some light on some things, but maybe it doesn't - it's a kind of strange session, I suppose. So, enjoy you best you can!

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_Patient – Sohma Akito; Session #216_

"Good morning, Kazuki," Akito greeted me as she walked in fifteen minutes early for her morning session with me. On her face she wore one of her creepy little smirks and her glinting eyes stood locked on me. She slowly made her way to the couch and relaxed on it, sprawling out so her oversized robes fell off her left shoulder and her legs were revealed. "Are you doing well?" The tone of her voice was very unsettling.

"Uh, I'm fine," I answered. While I had been preparing for her, since she was my first appointment of the day and she often came early, I had not expected her to be so oddly "friendly" (I doubt that is the proper word to describe it), especially after my unhappy session with Kyou the previous afternoon. Admittedly, my curiosity about Akito's misdemeanor had vanished after a restless night of worrying about, as Kyou put it, how much trouble I was in. Before I went to bed I spent hours reading through all of Kyou's session notes again; to my dismay, the more I read, the more I found things I wrote that would obviously anger Akito, particularly my suggestions to Kyou about defying Akito. As a result, I had decided it was not worth bringing up again and that if I could, I would let the whole thing be forgotten as if it never happened (an ineffective way of dealing with any problem, I know).

"It's a nice day, isn't it?" Akito went on, "A bit cold though…"

"Yes," I agreed. It had grown colder as we entered the month of November, although the sunny sky gave the illusion that it was warmer.

"You look tired," she then commented with a sardonic, knowing gaze, "Did something keep you up last night?"

"No," I lied, "I slept well."

She smiled strangely; "I'm very glad to hear."

Goosebumps crept up my arms; I knew that she was playing with me. She could tell I was nervy, despite my best efforts, and was trying her best to put me more on edge. Moreover, I was upset with myself for being so afraid when I had done nothing wrong in the first place. After all, rationally speaking, Akito was just a person, and a frail, sickly one at that, and yet I found myself at times just as terrified of her as the rest of my family. For that, I hated myself, but at the same time I couldn't deny that there was something truly frightening about her. It's not something I can clearly define, just something in her presence, an aura if you will, that commanded fear in all those who stood before her. I suppose, though, it actually had to do with my entire family being preconditioned to worship her, this being instilled in us all as children. Obviously, this psychological explanation was more reasonable than the typical "Sohma family curse" one that was utterly senseless and extremely overused.

"Thank you," I replied and, in the hopes of gaining my own control over the situation, started, "So, are you ready to begin our discussion for today, Akito?"

"Sure," she simply said, "Why not?" Her willingness to go along with me so easily was uncharacteristic and, hence, made me more wary.

"And is there anything you want to talk about this morning?"

"Whatever you'd like to - I'm sure you have plenty of things you'd like to discuss." Her eyes remained on me and her eerie (almost sinister) grin would not leave her face.

Admittedly, I was taken back by her offer; Akito rarely allowed me such freedom before in our sessions. She typically liked to control the entire meeting and was very careful in allowing me to bring up topics (restricting many) and in what she was willing to go over with me. At once, I knew the whole thing was still just a game to her, but I also knew that I could use such an opportunity to my advantage as a psychiatrist trying desperately to make progress with at least on of his patients. Furthermore, I was ashamed of being so cowardly and became determined to prove to not only myself but to Akito as well that I would not be so easily bullied and manipulated. So, I began, "Well, Akito, I think it would be a good idea if we returned to discussing your relationship with Shigure again."

There was a flicker in her eye and almost a wince, but she ultimately remained composed, smirk remaining; she could recognize a challenge. "What about that?" she asked calmly.

"Maybe it would be best if you answered that question. Obviously, what happened hurt you very much and perhaps contributed to your issues of mistrust. Why don't you talk through what happened and your feelings on it? Then, together, we can try to analyze it and find ways for you to overcome the experience."

Akito let out a short, brazen chuckle. She sat up a little bit straighter and answered, "Sure. Let's talk about it." Her eyes glared directly into mine. Suddenly, I was filled with both excitement and dread, because I hadn't expected her to agree. However, she seemed to be unwilling to cave in and determined not to be the first to snap. Quickly, I grabbed my pencil and prepared myself to take as many detailed notes as possible, as I knew chances like these were far and in between. "Shigure and I," she started. Then, for a moment, she appeared to waver. Yet she repeated, "Shigure and I are…we were…" She stopped once more, and I thought I saw her counting softly under her breath. Inhaling deeply, (with noticeably rising anger) she tried again, "Kureno was – it wasn't my fault…Shigure, he…_he -_ " Her own fortitude was clearly failing her as she began to twitch, her face becoming almost distorted with frustration. She then lashed out, "I thought I told you I didn't want to discuss that with you, devil!"

"I'm sorry, I just thought that it was something worth talking about," I explained.

Resting on the couch once more, her anger melted and that menacing smirk returned. "No, you're not sorry," she sneered. Slowly, she began to snicker and remarked with intrigue, "You are something else, Kazuki…something very _interesting_." With this, she burst into hysterics, her laughter ringing creepily through my office. "Do you really think that _you _can save them – save _me_? As if I, a god, _need _saving? And will you save that wretched cat, too?" The laughter grew worse. "But I almost forgot, that's why you were born, right - to save our family from its curse! Well, your whorish mother's little 'prophecy' certainly saved _you_, didn't it, when you should have been sliced out of her like you deserved. It hasn't done the rest of us any good, though.

"Yet, you actually still believe it, don't you? You actually still believe your own pitifully insane mother. You thought you'd run away for a time and then come back as our glorious savior! Did you really think it'd work? Do you still? You do, don't you? It's been two years, and you still think you'll save us! Our family's been cursed for centuries and you think you'll be the one to break it? I've never seen anything so sickeningly hilarious – a bastard brat who thinks himself greater than a god. You truly are a fool, Kazuki!"

Her cruel laughter continued as I felt my face grow hot, both with anger and humility. However, I was speechless; I couldn't find my words and my mind was racing, filling my head with an incoherent jumble. My emotions were consuming me to the point where I actually felt true hatred in its ugliest form, and I felt it strongly. I hated my family and I hated myself. For a brief moment, I even hated my mother, which I feel shameful admitting. Most of all, though, I hated Akito; I hated her for laughing so callously, for insulting my mother, and for mocking me. I hated her for what she had done to the rest of my family and for the fact that she had no remorse for it. However, what I hated her most for was speaking so candidly the truth. It felt as if she had ripped off a bandage that had been hiding a terrible wound and went ahead and poured salt onto it. I took a deep breath. "Why do you still come to see me then, if you feel that way? Why do you make the others?"

Akito calmed down a bit and flashed me a wider, triumphant grin, "Because you entertain me. I like that I can talk to you about whatever I'm feeling and you have no choice but to listen. More importantly, though, I want to see you suffer. I remember when you returned from America – as soon as I saw you, so confident and idealistic, I knew you deserved nothing but misery. That's why I force the others to see you and why I still come. I _want _you to hope you can save us, I _want _you to try as hard as you can, because I know each time you fail to free us from our curse, the more you yourself become consumed with it. I know it's killing you, killing you inside that you can't do anything to help us. You see, Kazuki, I'm crushing you little by little."

I was quiet for a moment and I soon felt sick. Swallowing down my queasiness, I inquired, "Well, then, say if I just end my practice?"

"But you won't, Kazuki, and that's why it's all so brilliant. You are going to keep on trying to save us like a hapless fool, not understanding that our curse can't be broken. And I'm sure you'll still tempt my disciples with your silver, but I am confident now that they won't follow. And you'll even continue to hope that you can help me – your god! I am glad, though, because you're suffering will just grow worse as time goes on. But, the devil is supposed to burn in hell…" Sighing, she laid her head all the way back, turned from me, and closed her eyes, as if going to sleep.

I said nothing to her, since I had nothing left to say. I didn't bother watching her fall asleep, but instead pulled out my files for my next patient and began preparing for the session. Half of me didn't want to but to, instead, actually just give up on the whole thing entirely, proving to Akito that I wasn't idiotic enough to continue with such a charade. However, I suppose in the end Akito had been right; I wasn't going to just leave, because I still believed I could make a difference. It just wasn't in me to give up, although I recognized that I had grown into a much sadder person in the last two years. What's more, despite my efforts to completely forget what Akito had said, I could not. Ultimately, Iguess my effort to prove that I would not be intimidated only resulted in Akito making certain that she would not be made a fool by me.

The truth is a very, very painful weapon, indeed.


	15. Ayame Sohma Session 79

As always, thank you all so much - I really appreciate that you take the time to read and review. What's more, I'm so sorry the updates have been slower than they were originally; since school has started up, I've been very busy.

Anyhow, when I wrote this session, I was trying to bring back a bit of a lighter, brighter touch to the story. Admittedly, I recognized that the last few sessions had been, while important, a series of downers. So, what better way to break things up a bit for the reader than to throw Ayame back into the picture! With that, enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Ayame; Session # 79_

Ayame was thirty minutes late for his session, and I wouldn't have expected anything else from him. My mind was still reeling from my first session that morning and to my relief, after a fifteen minute nap, Akito got up and left me alone in my office. As I waited for Ayame, who I knew wouldn't arrive for at least an hour and forty five minutes, I kept myself distracted mostly by reading. Yet, when that eventually began to fail me, I actually rang my mother, something I hardly ever did (she insisted she knew I would call, although the tone of her voice gave away how surprised she actually was to hear from me). We chatted a bit and I, for the first time in a long time, attempted to pay attention to some dream she was telling me about regarding myself and some man dressed in white and wearing glasses, who she predicted would be a great help to me. After awhile, I decided that I couldn't really take much more of it, so I abruptly told my mother I had a patient and thus, had to hang up.

For some time following this I just sat in my office chair staring out into space, completely lost. Then, unexpectedly, my office phone rang. At first, I was hoping perhaps Ayame was calling to let me know he was going to be late. However, to my surprise it was Kazuma and as soon as he mentioned Kyou's name my heart skipped a beat. Yet, to my relief, Kazuma was only calling because Kyou came by his doujo after his session with me and seemed very upset. However, Kyou wouldn't talk to him about it, and he wanted to know if I knew what was wrong. Of course, I explained to Kazuma about patient confidentiality and he understood. When I hung up, I smiled; if Kyou hadn't told Kazuma about how Akito read his file, it was safe to say he hadn't told anyone else. Hastily, I made a note to myself to make sure I remembered to show my appreciation to Kyou for being kind enough not to further destroy my practice's integrity.

Eventually, after twenty more minutes, Ayame came barging in with a large box of delicious pastries for us to eat. With that, the session sort of deteriorated into more of a social get together than a psychiatric counseling meeting. Yet, with how lousy I felt, I didn't really mind and actually felt grateful for the break.

"So, Yuki decided we should go to this museum exhibit next week," Ayame was explaining ten or so minutes after he arrived, as he devoured one of his treats, "It's going to be so boring, I think I'll die. But I suppose you intellectual types enjoy that sort of thing, hmm?" Seeing that I was eating some of the desert myself, he didn't bother to wait for me to respond. "Anyway, don't you worry Kazuki, because I'm going to do my best to have a good time, despite my little brother's selection of such a dull place for an outing! And once I've decided on something, it's as good as done, you know."

"That's good, Ayame," I managed to answer with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Oh, gosh, Kazuki, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Yes there is! I can tell. You look so sulky. It must be because you don't have a fine therapist like the rest of us do. A person can't counsel themselves, after all."

I chuckled, "I guess that's true. But don't worry, I'm fine really."

"Well, I don't believe you, but if you're going to be that way, then so be it. But just so you know, I will do all in my power to help you if you need it. Just you say the word!" He paused, then said, "Oh, I almost forgot to apologize for being a tad bit late! That's not what's upsetting you is it?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you sure? The only reason why I was late was because I _had _to pick up these lovely pastries. They're from a new place that just opened up on the same street as my shop. You find them yummy, don't you?"

"Yes, they're very good. Thanks for bringing them by."

"Well, it's all part of my effort to be considerate of others, which would never have happened without your wonderful inspiration!" he declared proudly. He went on, "At least you appreciate it, though. Poor Hatori was so sour at me this morning when I went by his place to drop him off a box. He muttered something about it being the first time in three weeks that he was able to sleep in. I say why waste a beautiful day such as this? Now, I love my dear Ha'ri, but I've got to say he really needs to learn to show more appreciation when such a good friend such as myself goes out of his way to do something so considerate for him!"

It was not in me to try to explain to Ayame the errors of his ways, and I couldn't help but get a little bit of joy at the thought of Ayame annoying a cranky Hatori early in the morning. So, I laughed and agreed, "Yes, Hatori really should be more grateful."

"I _know!_ But try telling him that – he won't listen! I guess because he's so smart, but you're just as smart, aren't you, so now I'm absolutely certain that I'm right about all this! You know, you're really handy to have around, Kazuki!"

"Thanks, Ayame," I said with a somber smile at the irony of it all; only when I was completely disregarding my duties as a psychiatrist was I useful.

"Ah, there it is again! That horrible sadness! Something definitely is wrong."

"Don't worry about it – it's nothing."

"How frustrating you are Kazuki! And you're the one who's always telling us to be honest about our feelings. But what's the use? You won't budge so why waste my time pestering you? Still, I've been going on and on about what's been going on my life – "

"You're supposed to, though - you're my patient, after all," I interrupted.

"Yes, but that isn't very considerate of me, is it? So, tell me about what's new with you! Really, I want to hear – I'm sure it must be at least a tad interesting! Don't worry, though, I'll let you know if I'm bored. Now go on!"

"Well…" I trailed off and frowned. As I thought about it, I slowly began to realize that I had very little to think about. There was nothing new in my life, save the things happening in regards to my practice, but I obviously couldn't discuss that with Ayame. Other than that, the days came and went with a hum-drum rhythm. I would wake up early, get dressed, make myself a simple breakfast, and trot over to my office where I'd prepare for an hour for my upcoming sessions. During my lunch break, I typically stayed in my office and read leisurely while nibbling on a small snack, if that. Finally, I'd finish my sessions in the late afternoon and then would go over to my mother's for dinner (if she hadn't burnt it, in which case I'd have to whip together something quickly). Once I had stood for a time, I would graciously leave and return back to my home, bath, spend a few hours reviewing my patients' files, and crawl into bed, only to do the same thing over the next day. To be honest, I hadn't thought about it much until Ayame brought it up,but with that, the monotony of my existence finally struck me. Immediately, I recognized my lack of social contact was something that was to be considered rather detrimental, as well as my apparent obsession with my work. With this realization, I became even more depressed than I had been. Struggling to think of something, I weakly said, "Same old, really…"

"Oh gosh, don't tell me _nothing's _new! What is happening to you, Kazuki? You really need to get out – that must be what's wrong! When was the last time you left here?"

"I, uh…" I couldn't honestly remember when the last time I had left my family's large residence was. My mother usually was good about going to the supermarket for me as I was busy during the day and she never really had anything else to do herself.

"You don't even have a memory of the last time you saw the outside!" Ayame exclaimed tragically, "Oh, it's worse than I thought! Why, certainly you've had a day off recently, yes?"

"Well, not really," I answered truthfully, as it seemed that Akito wanted to come by practically everyday, and on the rare days she didn't I scheduled another member of my family to come by.

Ayame lowered his head and shook it with despair. "Kazuki, Kazuki darling, you'll kill yourself this way, you know!" Then he looked up at me with twinkling eyes and a wide grin, "That's it, you must come out to my shop! Then I'll take you all around town!"

"Oh, no," I quickly said, "Thank you, Ayame, but that's really okay. I'll be fine."

"Well, I don't see how, especially if you continue to live like this, all locked up…" Eyes dejected, he miserably took a bite of one of the pastries and suggested, "Let's talk about something happy, because I can't stand this depressing atmosphere! Oh, I know! Tell me about your time overseas, won't you Kazuki? I've been meaning to ask you ever since you returned, but I kept forgetting! Silly of me, I know! I'm actually thinking of traveling abroad some day soon. Only for a short while though, because I couldn't abandon my precious shop! Mine and I, however, are thinking of taking a little tour of Europe. It's just so sad how I've never really been anywhere, and it seems no one else in this family but you has either, so you're the only one I can ask about it!" He stared at me with large childlike eyes, and he asked me with boyish curiosity, "Do tell me, Kazuki, what's Europe like?"

At once, I was swarmed with so many emotions it's difficult to explain. There were feelings of happiness at my memories, sadness for I missed it, tinges of guilt for having gone at all, surprise about how much I yearned to return, and fear that I may never have the opportunity to visit again. As I looked at Ayame though, I knew I wanted to share my bittersweet recollection, so I stated, "Europe, Ayame, is wonderful."

"Ah, I knew it!"

"I spent most of my time in England, but I was fortunate enough to have several opportunities to tour the continent. Even though it seems like a small region, there are so many different countries and cultures to explore. Granted, I must admit I personally hold a special place in my heart for England and for Oxford. Still, if I had to choose, I would have to say my favorite place was Athens, but I bet you and Mine would absolutely love Paris."

"Yes, France! It seems like a place that I would love. Tell me, what are the French like?"

"Oh, it's hard to say. People can be so very different, even if they are all from the same place. At the same time, however, despite so many places and cultures, mankind is very much alike - we all experience the same feelings and emotions, share in similar relationships, have fears and dreams. In a way, it's quite comforting to know that no matter where you go in this world, you will be surrounded by people who, at their core, are not that much different than you."

"But do they really have those funny accents though?" Ayame questioned, obviously uninterested in my insights. Still, despite this, I felt good as I reflected on what I had said; during my two years as the Sohma family psychiatrist, I realized I must have forgotten that, in the end, regardless of all my family's faults (and trust me, there were many), they were all human beings who essentially felt the same emotions I did. They weren't some alien race who followed foreign psychological patterns that couldn't be grasped. Instead, they were each individuals who experienced human emotions - insecurities, love and lust, sadness, happiness, fear and hope, anger - just as I or anyone else did. Sure, perhaps the way they expressed each feeling was different than how I did, but the feeling itself – that was easy to understand. My spirits were rekindled for what I had set out to do was not, in fact, hopeless, for how could it be? I wasn't dealing with something unfamiliar, because I could ultimately relate to them on some basic level. What's more, just as my family felt insecurities, fear, and sadness like all people, they were capable of feeling confidence, courage, and happiness, too.

I gave Ayame what I believe was my first genuine smile of the session and by the look of his gleaming eyes, I could tell he happily noticed, although he did not say a word about it. Smirking, I said, "Yes, yes, the French do have those funny accents…"

I truly did love my sessions with Ayame.


	16. Ritsu Sohma Session 109

Thank you all, firstly for your patience, since I haven't been able to get the chapters up as quickly as I had been. Thank you for reading and reviewing, too!

Next up is Ritsu...enjoy!

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_Patient – Sohma Ritsu; Session #109_

"I am _not _sorry," Ritsu stated in a quivering voice. He swallowed hard and repeated, "I am _not _sorry. I am _n-not _sorry." After the third time, he exhaled deeply, seemingly relieved and glanced over at me with a weak smile. "Was that okay?"

"That was good, Ritsu, very good," I assured my cousin and grinned. I was feeling much better after my meeting with Ayame earlier that morning, and with my newfound hope in my family, I had jumped head first into my session with Ritsu; I was truly determined to make a difference and was most certain that I could in fact do so. I suppose, some of it must have been spite, since I was resolved to prove Akito wrong. I wanted to show her that no one – not even herself – was hopeless and that every individual was in fact in control of their own lives, regardless of any supposed "curse" that had been placed upon them or their family. Admittedly, for a brief time, I had slowly slipped away from reason and had doubted my previous convictions that the application of psychiatric principles could indeed help my family overcome so much of their suffering. After Ayame left, I spent some time reviewing my old notes, as well as texts and academic journals, and gleefully identified all the possible psychological reasons behind my patients' behavior and misery. Sure, perhaps I hadn't progressed very much in my two years, but at least by recognizing the potential problem or problems I was accomplishing an important step in the psychiatric process.

I suppose, looking back, I embraced this new, positive, and rather embellished outlook as a way to compensate for how lousy I had felt after being torn apart by Akito. In a way, it was denial, but it was comforting to be focused once more instead of confused and filled with conflicting emotions. So, as one typically in denial does, I ignored that fact that I was in denial and enthusiastically said to Ritsu, "Now, Ritsu, I want you to, every time you feel the urge to apologize, to take just a few moments to _really _analyze the situation and determine if you are in any way at fault. If you haven't done anything wrong, it's important that you tell yourself that, out loud if that helps, just as we were practicing."

"Okay…" Ritsu answered reluctantly, "I'll try it, Kazuki."

"That's great, Ritsu! I'm sure you'll do fantastically."

Ritsu blinked with perplexity; I assume he wasn't use to me being so genuinely upbeat in quite a while. What's more, I had given him a sincere compliment that wasn't just for his sake, but one that I had actually meant (or perhaps convinced myself that I had meant it). "Really? Do you actually mean it?"

"Why, of course. We've been doing quite well in our sessions, after all. Yes, I think we've progressed very far from when we started two years ago. You are much more composed now, and you apologize less frequently than you did in the past. You're self esteem has increased tremendously too, and we've really tackled and worked through many of your inferiority issues from your childhood. You don't even dress like a woman all that much anymore – well, except for today, but that's not a big deal, really. All in all, we're doing quite swimmingly, don't you think?" I had said it all very fast, as if I had to get it out, say it aloud, make it real.

Ritsu was quiet for a moment, bewildered. "Kazuki, are you okay?"

"Certainly, Ritsu. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Nothing! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – it's just that you were acting so - how insensitive of me, to just pry into your life just like I did. I am such an inconsiderate, ignorant person to do something so incredibly rude! I'm so sorry, Kazuki! I'm sorry! Please, please forgive me for even asking something so obviously absurd as I just did! I'm such a terrible person, I don't even deserve to live!" Ritsu fell to his knees and bowed his head before me to beg for forgiveness.

With the completion of Ritsu's last word, my right eye gave a tiny twitch. That was all it took for the happy ideas I had forced myself to believe to shatter into a hundred little pieces. The hope, as foolish as it might have been, that had been returned to me during Ayame's session was still there (I'm sure to Akito's delight), but the additional exaggerations had successfully slipped away. I managed a half smile and said quietly, "Ritsu, there's no need to apologize – it's okay."

"It is?" Ritsu poked his head up and looked at me with grateful eyes.

"As okay as it's going to be, anyway…" I muttered.

"Oh, Kazuki, you really are much too kind. Thank you, thank you." Constantly bowing his head to me in gratitude, he rose to his feet and sat back down on the couch.

"You're welcome, Ritsu." Sighing, I thumbed through a couple pages of his file. At first, I thought I should have reminded him that he forgot to follow my instructions, hence resulting in his outburst, but I quickly decided that this would just result in another apologetic tirade. So, desperately, I looked for something else we could discuss. Finding a topic, I began, "Let's direct our discussion now to your relationship with your mother…"

In the end, I suppose going through the motions is better than not going anywhere at all.


	17. Interlude 2, Akito Sohma Session 217

I'm very sorry, again, for keeping everyone waiting on chapters (and that the last one was shorter than most - I didn't realize until I posted it that I should have done a combo)! School has just been so time-consuming, so it's harder for me to get a chance to post up chapters. Thank you so much everyone for your patience, and for reading and reviewing! It is greatly appreciated.

Just to address some of my reviews...

Malachite Iris - Ayame and Mine are sort of together in their own way, as Ayame doesn't seem to be the type to participate in a traditional, committed relationship.

LaBaronne - I'm sorry about the Hatori/Tori-san thing! You're right in your comment, though. I suppose I'm more familiar with the English version, where they often call Hatori "Ha'ri," instead of"Tori-san" as they do in the Japanese version. Sometimes, though, I just get involved with my writing, that I forget about those small but important details. I'll definately try to keep it in mind for the next time, thanks!

Jaimee - I don't take any offense at your comments, because I was hoping some of those nuances in Kazuki's character would come out. I don't know if I'd call it "idiocy," but he's definately not as let's say "together" as he tends to think he is. I'm sorry about Yuki - I'll be sure tolook over his parts to see how I can write him better in the future.

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! It's great to see interest in my work!

Now then, for another chapter. It's a "combo" chapter, with the first part breaking from the original format, as it's an interlude of sorts, and the second part going into yet another fun-filled session with Akito. Enjoy!

* * *

That afternoon, I went over to my mother's for lunch, something that I had not done since I was a young boy. She was quite pleased to see me and, oddly enough, I was happy to see her as well. For about an hour I was free of my practice and without a care in the world; I was safe. Of course, my mother was her same bizarre self, ranting on about dreams and prophecies and the like. However, despite the fact that I wasn't actually paying attention to a single word she said, I listened fondly to her voice as her quirkiness was strangely soothing. It was the same peculiar prattle I would return home to as a child and, especially after a particularly bad day, I often took comfort in it. I knew that if there was one person I could always count on, it was my mother. 

After finishing our lunch, I walked slowly back to my office to prepare for my session with Momiji, which was to begin in a half hour. Yet, when I returned to it, to my semi-surprise there was Akito standing at my desk, eyes narrowed into a half-hearted glare. However, I did not have much time to contemplate why she had come, for by her side was an elderly man, with white hair and a receding hairline, wearing glasses and a white suit. My heart skipped a beat, and I must have stood there frozen for a good full minute absolutely overcome by shock.

"Surprised, are we Kazuki?" He laughed heartily as he walked over to me.

"Professor Jammerson!" I exclaimed, overcome with seeing my old mentor from my days at Harvard. "I can't believe you're really here!" He laughed again – that infectious laugh that he only shared with very few people – and we embraced briefly, both delighted to see one another after two long years.

"I'll just…wait outside…" Akito muttered, eyeing us both as she leisurely glided to the door. She glared at us one more time, deliberately taking her time to study Professor Jammerson with a cold glance, before she gave that unsettling smirk of hers and slumped out into the hall, slowly creaking the door closed behind her.

"Your cousin – Akito is it? – he showed me in," Professor Jammerson explained. "He's a bit of an odd one, isn't he?" I smiled; Professor Jammerson was always perfectly blunt.

"Yes, Akito can be," I answered, not bother to explain the gender error, "But he's of some importance in my family." It felt strange talking to him, for it had been quite awhile since I had spoken any English. As a result, I was afraid the language would come back to me only bit by bit. Fortunately, after only a few moments of using it, it seemed as if I had never stopped speaking it at all.

"Is he now?" He nodded, rubbing his chin in meditation. "Well, perhaps it's because my Japanese isn't what it should be. Your English seems to be as good as ever, though."

"Thank you, sir."

"You mean Arigoto gozaimasu, Jammerson-san," Professor Jammerson corrected with a grin as he slipped into the Japanese dialect. He continued in Japanese, "It's my first time in Japan, after all, so I should speak the language, right?"

"Yes," I agreed, returning to Japanese as well.

"How am I?"

"You speak well," I told him truthfully.

"Do I now? That's good to hear. But tell me, Kazuki, how are you doing?"

As I did not have the heart to tell him the truth, I lied; "I'm doing very well, Professor."

"Liar - and a terrible one at that."

"I'm not lying!" I lightly argued with a laugh. "I've been making some real progress with my family and it's been nice to be home again after so many years away."

"Then perhaps I spoke too hastily. I apologize. I am very glad to hear things are going well for you."

"Thank you, sir. But what brings you to Japan?"

Behind his glasses his green eyes twinkled. "I'm glad you asked, Kazuki." Placing his briefcase on my desk, he flipped it open and pulled out a folder. Smiling, he explained. "This is what brings me here. It's a new research project that I've been developing over the last year and a half. In here is the proposal."

"You'll be doing research in Japan?" I questioned skeptically.

"No, no – it was hard enough to convince my wife to come this time around. I was just grateful I finally had an excuse to drag her half way across the world – I've always wanted to visit Japan, but you already know that. Anyhow, last month I presented this proposal at an alumni dinner to a very affluent Harvard graduate who gave me the grant I needed to go ahead with the project. And that's why I'm in Japan - to try to convince you to return to Harvard with me."

"Return to Harvard?"

"As part of our agreement, I've been given permission to ensemble a small team of psychiatrists to conduct the necessary research. And you, Kazuki, were one the first individuals to come to mind. After all, you were one of my finest students, not to mention that this project needs a fresh perspective from a younger mind, such as yours. It's a wonderful opportunity, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. Here, take a look for yourself."

Professor Jammerson handed me the folder and, without saying a word, I opened it up and began to read its contents. I saw a list of a dozen psychiatrists from around the world, many whose names were familiar to me for I had studied their work for hours upon hours during my university years. How strange it was for me to see my name among theirs, which held such prestige and weight in the academic community. Underneath this was details about the grant and my heart beat faster as I saw how much Professor Jammerson had received. Then, I finally laid eyes on the proposal itself, a thick document that had obviously been tirelessly reviewed, for notes and corrections were written all over in pencil and pen. Anxiously, I read the introduction, which summarized the proposal, and with each sentence my excitement grew. As I finished the second paragraph, I was certain that Professor Jammerson was a genius.

Professor Jammerson smiled with a satisfied pride and he eagerly asked, "So you're interested, I see?"

"Of course!" I blurted out without a thought. Professor Jammerson laughed jovially.

"I knew it! I knew I could count on you, Kazuki. You always were a bright one. So, can I expect you in Boston at the beginning of next month or will you need a little longer to get your affairs together here?"

My insides felt as if they dropped all the way through me and a large empty hole was somehow gnawing at where my intestines used to be. "Professor, I – I'm not sure if I can go." It was painful saying each and every one of those words, for in my heart, I think I wanted to go. It was such a great opportunity not only professionally, but personally; I could finally be free once more. I could return to America, rid myself of my ridiculous family practice, and live independently and happily once more. Back in Massachusetts, perhaps I would reunite with old friends (all of whom it appeared I lost touch with) or even make new ones.

But how could I abandon my family? I couldn't just give up on what I had set out to do. And the thought of my mother's reaction when she learned I was leaving her again, as well as discarding her prophecy, made me feel more awful than I would have initially imagined. Worse of all, quitting now would confirm to everyone that I too believed what Akito believed was true; there was no way that anyone could ever save the cursed Sohma family.

Professor Jammerson smiled knowingly. "I see. How about you look that over during the next couple of days and give me your answer on Sunday."

"On Sunday?"

"I forgot to mention that, didn't I? I was hoping you might show my wife and me around that day, if it's not too much of an inconvenience."

"No, not at all, Professor. I'd love to show you around."

"Great! Here," quickly he scribbled down an address on a piece of paper he found on my desk, "This is where we're staying. Meet us there at 9 o'clock?"

"Sure."

"Now I better get going, because it's terribly rude of me to keep your cousin waiting for you, especially after he was nice enough to show me to your office."

"But I'm not supposed to be seeing Akito now."

"No? Well, he told me he was coming to see you for an appointment." I frowned at this, as Professor Jammerson went on, putting his trench coat on over his suit and snapping his briefcase shut. "In any case, I shouldn't leave my wife waiting too much longer. Goodbye, Kazuki."

As I watched him leave, I immediately felt guilty for having disappointed him, so I began, "Professor, I'm sorry for – "

"Uh uh," he interrupted me, "Just tell me Sunday."

"Yes, Professor," I complied, "Goodbye for now." I watched him walk out of my office and with dread watched as Akito walked back in.

_

* * *

Patient – Akito Sohma; Session #217 _

Akito strolled over to the couch but instead of lazily sprawling out on it, as she typically did, she just lingered by it uneasily. She wouldn't look at me and simply gazed out the window at the wind whistling through the semi-bare fall trees. Rocking slightly from side to side, she traced her finger slowly across the top surface of the end table. Yet, she didn't speak a word and so, after a couple of minutes, I sat down at my desk and reminded her, "Akito, we already had our appointment for today this morning, remember?" As I soon as I said it, I recalled bitterly Akito's cruel words from our session earlier that day. Instantly, I was certain that I didn't want anything to do withher at the moment, and I soon became quite worried that I might not want anything to do with her ever again. I could feel my animosity and anger swell within me, but despite this, I remained as even-tempered as I possibly could.

Akito just gave me a half-hearted shrug. She was quiet for a few more moments before she softly said, "So…are you leaving then?"

"Pardon?"

"That man…from _England_…"

"America," I corrected her.

"He told me why he was here. He wants to take you back with him for some research project…"

"Yes, that's true," I concurred and coldly explained, "Professor Jammerson is an instructor I had when I went to Harvard. He just received a grant and is looking to put together a research team."

Akito nodded and left the couch, ambulating slowly to the window. Lowering her head, she muttered something that was barely audible. "Did you just say something?"

"_Yes,_" she snarled, clearly annoyed that I had not heard her the first time.

"I didn't hear you," I stated, trying my best to conceal my own anger at her.

Akito sighed with frustration, crossed her arms, and completely turned her head away from me. Then, she bitterly said, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry…?" I blinked in surprise, as all my hatred subsided at this startling revelation. I was certain I must have heard her wrong for there was no way that Akito, who thought herself a god, would ever apologize to me, a "bastard brat" as she had said just hours earlier or anyone else for that matter.

"Yes, I'm sorry," she repeated with much hostility and resentment. "I'm sorry for how I acted this morning…"

With this, I had no choice but to accept that Akito had actually apologized, as improbable as such a thing was. In truth, it was very strange, and I almost didn't know how to react. Of course, I was rather skeptical of her sincerity, since the last time she supposedly "apologized" turned out to be nothing more than one of her sick, twisted jokes and ended up with her revealing that she had been going through my patients' files. Yet, this time was different; she wasn't snickering cruelly or glaring at me callously. In fact, it appeared as if she had forced herself to apologize. However, nevertheless, I couldn't ignore how truly angry I still was at her inside of me. I was furious just looking at her, and I suppose her words had hurt me more than I had initially admitted. At the same time, as her psychiatrist I knew that if I didn't accept her apology, I would fail to reinforce the importance of this positive behavior. So, with reluctance, I said, "Thank you, Akito. Your apology is accepted."

"Good," she turned to me now looking very satisfied, "You were right – apologizing is a useful tool for rectifying things."

"Well, yes, it does help. Of course, it's also important that you, in your future actions, try to – "

"I don't wish to speak about this anymore. Let's talk about something else," Akito suggested, leaving the window and returning to the couch, where she laid down.

"You can come back later if you'd like Akito, but Momiji has a session now," I told her and immediately started to wonder where Momiji was; Akito, however, quickly solved that mystery for me.

"I cancelled your appointment with him."

I frowned. That was two sessions with Momiji that Akito interfered with. Still, I tried my best to not let my irritation get the best of me, and said, "You shouldn't have done that, Akito. However, I have a lot of things to look over, so you'll have to leave, anyway. I'm sorry." Truth be told, although I had accepted her apology, I wasn't really ready to forgive her yet. At least, I knew I didn't want to be around her for awhile.

"What things?" Akito raised an eyebrow.

"Well, what Professor Jammerson left me, to begin with."

"Why do you need to read _that_?" she questioned severely, sitting up rigidly on the sofa and glaring at me icily.

"Because I have to give an answer to him on Sunday."

"But you're not leaving."

"Actually, I haven't made my decision yet, Akito."

Unexpectedly, Akito jumped to her feet and shouted, "You can't leave! You accepted my apology, didn't you? _Didn't you?_"

"What?" I questioned, truly confused. It did not take long for me to figure out what was going on, though. "You mean that's the reason why you said you were sorry? Just so I wouldn't leave?"

"_Yes_," she snapped, as if it was obvious all along, "Why else would I apologize to _you_?"

I rolled my eyes and let out a heavy sigh, angry at myself for being so gullible, and losing myself, sneered, "How silly of me. I thought you apologized because you had done something wrong."

"Wrong?" Akito broke into hysterical laughter at this. "Me? I am a god! What is wrong with you, Kazuki?"

Very disgusted, I said honestly, "Please, just leave. Just go. I can't speak to you right now or deal with you or anything. I'm afraid I'll say something that I shouldn't."

"We need to speak now."

"You can come back tomorrow. But not today - I can't today."

"_No_." Her eyes were narrow and her fists were clenched. "You will do as I say! You are a member of this family and therefore, you must listen to me! You must!"

Feeling heavy with exhaustion I unenthusiastically complied, "Yes, you're absolutely right, Akito. Now will you just go?"

"Not until you tell me you aren't leaving!"

"Why do you even care?" I asked her.

"Because you don't deserve to leave! You should be here, serving me as you have been! The family is to stay with me, now and always! I won't let you stray, as insignificant as you pitifully are, because then the others will think they can stray, as well. Don't you understand, Kazuki? I am your god! How can you not understand?"

I was quiet for a moment and shook my head, tired of it all. "Akito, I have a headache."

Her eyes began to twitch and widen, her face growing distorted as it usually does when she faces defiance. She let out an incoherent shriek before ranting, "How dare you! How dare you be so insolent! And it's because I foolishly let you leave the first time! That's why! But I am older now, and I know better. You cannot leave! You cannot! I forbid it!"

"You can't stop me," I told her, looking her directly in the eyes as I said it. At this, her face became even more distorted and her breathing became exceptionally labored. Looking back, I'm surprised I had the nerve to say it and say it like I did, but I guess I had become so fed up with everything that at that point I didn't really care if I made her even more angry with me.

Oddly, though, just when I thought she was going to lunge something at me, she broke back into hysterical laughter. I watched her as she laughed, her whole body shaking because of it, and kind of glided to the door as best she could. When she reached it, she opened it and weakly leaned against the door frame. Her laughter sputtered into a few hoarse coughs and she relaxed her head in the palm of her right hand. Then, in a low, quiet voice she stated simply, "You will not leave again, Kazuki. I have already forbid it. And if you try, I will stop you."


	18. Shigure Sohma Session 37

I am so very sorry to you all for taking so long to update! Truth be told, college is very overwhemling! That being said, I have not in anyway abandoned this story. It's just going to take a little longer getting through this final stretch.

In any event, I am still very grateful to everyone who has read and those who have reviewed, as well! I hope you continue to enjoy! With that, I give you another session (finally!):

_

* * *

Patient – Sohma Shigure; Session #37 _

At a little after three o'clock, there was a knock at my office door. Over the last two hours, I had been reading over Professor Jammerson's project and falling in love with it the more and more I read it. By the time two thirty rolled around, I was all but certain that I was going to take up my old instructor's offer and return to America with him. After all, in the end Akito had been right about my failure to save my family, and she was probably correct in saying that I would never be able to free them from their "curse." It seemed as if they were doomed to live miserable lives in any event, because they refused to change or even attempt to change. At least if I returned to America I would be able to work toward a reasonable goal, not to mention that Professor Jammerson's project was an amazing opportunity to truly accomplish something quite extraordinary for the academic world.

However, as I leafed through the thick folder, my mind kept wandering back to Akito and our last "session" that afternoon (although, to be honest, I don't know if it's fair to call it one). I suppose it's just the psychiatrist in me, but I began to analyze her behavior, and while I did so, I almost forgot my anger. Impulsively, I would break off from immersing myself in Professor Jammerson's project and start to jot down different thoughts I had about why she had said one thing or did another. Perhaps her harsh refusal to let me leave, I reasoned, was her way of expressing that she in fact relied more on our sessions than she would admit. What's more, there could easily be resentment toward me on her part; while I had the chance to travel for eight fulfilling years, she would never get such an opportunity due to her constant ailments. And of course, her fear of abandonment was an obvious explanation for her desperate attempt to have me remain in Japan at her beckon call. These were all issues I could work with her on, but I had to help her off that false pedestal herself and our family had put her on first. Yes, if I could free her of that terrible burden and convince her that she was not a god but just a regular person, maybe then she could start learning how to enjoy life and be free of her "curse" once and for all.

Reflecting on it now, hope had once again gotten the best of me (which I'm sure Akito would also claim with one of her sinister snickers). Yet, as hard as hope tried to creep itself in, I was much more resistant. When I would start penning down some new idea in regards to her without thinking, I would soon regain myself and remind myself how mad I truly was at her. I told myself it was unwise for me to start trying to rationalize Akito's behavior, for it could all simply be explained away by the fact that Akito was a controlling, cruel, selfish, jealous, unforgiving person who truly believed she was a god. Admittedly, in many ways I was behaving like a child, but I refused to allow myself to succumb to my foolish gullibility anymore. Therefore, I absorbed myself in Professor Jammerson's work, so much so that when I heard the knocking I was rather startled. I glanced up and asked, "Yes, who is it?"

"It's Shigure," came Shigure's sing-song voice from behind the door. Opening it, he merrily skipped in and greeted me, "Why, good afternoon, Kazuki! Busy as always, I see."

"Shigure?" I questioned, puzzled, "What are you doing here?"

"I scheduled an appointment for today. You didn't forget, now did you?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry," I apologized as my memory came back to me, "I must have forgotten." To be honest, Shigure was (save Akito) probably the last person I wanted to see. Yet, despite this, I added, "But please sit down, and we'll get started."

"Sounds good to me," Shigure grinned. He walked over to the couch and plopped down. "I can't say I blame you - for forgetting that is - with all you've been through today."

"Hmm?" Shigure was prying as usual; it always did seem like he planned his whole sessions out in advance.

"Oh, you know, with your old professor coming here and asking you to return to America with him."

"You know about that?"

"Well, Akito's been quite unpleasant about it all afternoon, at least according to Hatori, anyway. He was by there just awhile ago giving Akito her daily check-up. Apparently, she's rather enraged." He let out a light, unsettling chuckle.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I muttered.

"So then, the question on everybody's mind is this - are you leaving?"

"I haven't made any decision."

"Oh no?" Shigure looked at me curiously, "Surely you're leaning one way or the other, right?"

"Well…" I trailed off. Half of me wanted to tell Shigure I was planning on going just so he would go back and tell the others. Admittedly, I took some pleasure in the idea of my family flabbergasted at my blatant defiance of their supposed "god." Perhaps it might even inspire some of them into also acting independently. The other part of me, though, wanted to let Shigure know as little as possible, because the more he knew, the more he would try to manipulate things for his own purposes, whatever they might be.

Noticing my hesitation, Shigure said, "Far be it for me to pry, though. After all, it's none of my business. I am, alas, just your insignificant cousin…"

"Shigure –"

"No, no, I understand Kazuki. Besides, if I was in your shoes, I'd be quite frightened to say anything, too. Akito can be rather violent, can't she?"

Instinctively, I replied, "I'm not frightened of Akito. I'm actually thinking of going." I knew I was slipping as soon as the words escaped my lips, but at the same time, I was determined to make it clear that Akito did not have any sort of control or hold on me.

"Ah, so you are going to leave us." Shigure smiled, eyes looking quite satisfied. "I knew it."

"I said I was thinking about it," I pointed out, "I still haven't made a decision yet."

"It sounds like it'll be good for you. But Akito will be angry to see you go, won't she?"

"I suppose she will," I answered curtly.

Shigure nodded and then was quiet. However, before I could start our session he simply said, "Still…there is the curse." He glanced over at me to see my reaction.

"Yes, what about it?"

"I'm guessing you've given up on trying to break it. Aunt Tomiko must be very disappointed."

"I was never trying to break it."

Shigure appeared surprised by this response. "You weren't?"

"No. I've never thought a curse existed in the first place."

"Oh, well then we must all imagine being transformed into animals," Shigure joked, "And to think all this time I've been avoiding the opposite sex for nothing."

I frowned and felt my face grow warm with a bit of embarrassment. "Of course that part is what it is. What I meant was I never thought that our family was cursed to be as miserable as it is or to suffer as it has."

"I see. But we all are pretty miserable- well, not all of us but a lot of us, that's for sure," Shigure remarked.

"Yes, but to just blame it on a curse? No wonder nothing changes – you can't change if you don't recognize the potential for change, and I, frankly, am getting tired of trying to help you all do so. As I see it, most of this family's suffering comes from the simple fact that members of this family make really bad decisions. You've all created these delusions about Akito, as if she's more than some mentally disturbed person and use Kyou as a way to ineffectively deal with low self-esteem. If you all just stopped treating yourselves and each other so terribly and started just taking responsibility for your actions, then maybe you'd all just be happier."

"But we'd all still be turning into animals," Shigure smirked.

"Yes, I suppose that's true. That being said, life is what you make it."

Shigure laughed and added, "You get what you get, and you don't get upset?"

I managed a sort of half smile, "Well, in a nutshell…"

"I can't say I don't agree with you on some points," Shigure began, "It makes sense. Still, the curse goes back a very long time…"

"It seems to me each generation brainwashes the next," I commented with bitterness.

"Maybe. But at least now I can see why Akito doesn't want you to go off on your own again. You certainly get ideas, don't you?" To be honest, I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not at that last remark. He went on, "Let me pose you this question, though – if you did believe that the curse was real, how would you break it?"

"I never really thought about it," I answered truthfully. Pondering, I continued, "I suppose, logically speaking, if the curse is derived from that old folktale about the zodiac, then the best way to rectify it is for the so called god of our family to call another banquet and invite all the animals to come. And of course, it would be up to the rat to make sure the cat attends. In other words, maybe it's about time everyone stops ostracizing Kyou."

Shigure smirked again at my response, but it was one of those rare, unsettling, dark grins of his that always made me shudder. He eyed me with intrigue before saying, "You're always looking out for him, aren't you?"

"No, it's not that –"

"You're a bit self-righteous, though, don't you think? I mean, it's not as if you're a member of the zodiac, yet you condemn us without a second thought."

"It's not my fault that it's wrong, and you refuse to admit it."

"Oh, I know it's wrong. But that's just the way it is. But Kazuki tell me, is it really simply just that which bothers you or does Kyou in some way remind you of yourself?"

"I don't -" I slowly started to answer. Yet, at once, I grew very rigid and stated, "Shigure, this is not a conversation we should be having right now. I don't mind if we have a session, as we had scheduled it, but I don't have time to sit and talk to you about my own personal affairs."

"Of course, of course!" Shigure quickly agreed, reverting back to his pleasant self. "I'm terribly sorry – I guess I just can't help myself!" He laughed heartily.

With that, we began a very artificial session. Shigure was obviously just going through the motions, for he had already gotten most of the information he wanted. As for myself, I think all Shigure had accomplished was reminding me as to why I wanted to leave so much and why it was pointless for me to keep staying. I had tried my best, but the constant pressure was becoming too much and dealing with people as dark and twisted as Akito and Shigure was more stress than I probably needed in my life. After all, I had blamed most of my family's misery on bad decision-making; I could easily see how my own choices were negatively affecting my life as well. Moreover, if my family wasn't going to do anything to try to make their lives better, I certainly could at least do something to make me happier. Why should I feel guilty, anyway? It's not like I didn't _try _to help.

And yet, in the back of mind, there was still hope trying its best to survive.


	19. Interlude 3

Wow, it's been months since I updated this! I'm so sorry. Trust me, it's not that I forgot about this story; it's just that when you're a junior in college, things like papers, midterms, and finals plus extracurricular responsibilities really get in the way of fun writing time. Anyway, I hope that people have not forgotten about Kazuki's story, but maybe you can brush up by re-reading some of the earlier chapters, if you'd like. In any event, I have a few weeks off before Spring semester, so I really hope to get this finished before things become overwhelming again.

Well, unfortunately, there's no session for this chapter. I'm excited to go back to that format, as it's a lot of fun, but an interlude was really necessary to progress the story along. However, I really enjoyed writing this whole part, primarily for its surrealness and some of its symbolism, and I hope you all enjoy reading it, too. Thanks!

Please note, the Christianity references are, again, not suppose to be offensive. If they are, I apologize, because I myself am Christian, and I would never want to offend someone in regards to religion. However, the allusions to Christianity are, admittedly, meant to appear twisted, but only to show how twisted Akito's interpretation of the religion is.

* * *

Very confused and extremely tired, I left my mother's house early in the evening, the sun just having slipped behind the horizon. It had grown even colder than it was during the day, and I was shivering slightly in the crisp night air. Immediately, I regretted that I didn't take a coat in the morning, as my navy suit jacket didn't provide much warmth against the almost wintry temperatures. Fortunately, though, it wasn't a long walk back to my home, and I had a lot on my mind to distract me from the cold. 

Once home, I mustered enough energy to quickly bathe and groggily crawl into bed, not even bothering to do some reading. As I slowly drifted to sleep, my mind raced with thoughts of Boston and my mother's disappointment when I told her about Professor Jammerson's proposal, of my failing practice and my depressing family, and of Akito and of how terribly disconcerting she truly was. It didn't take long, though, for me to fall asleep, and when I finally did, I had probably the most disturbing nightmares that I have ever had in all of my twenty six years…

"Kazuki!"

Startled, I fluttered my eyes open. "Mother? Are you in here?" Alert, I sat up in bed and anxiously looked around; it certainly sounded as if her voice was coming from nearby.

"Come on, Kazuki!" My mother's gentle, sing-song voice called out again, and she giggled. "Let's go – everyone's waiting!"

"Mother, I – huh?" I glanced down. There, beside my bed, was my mother standing at about nine inches and staring up at me with bright eyes. She gave me a wave and a smile. "Why, mother what happened? You've shrunk!"

Laughing again, she beckoned, "Hurry, Kazuki, hurry! We're all waiting!" Then she skipped away from the side of my bed and toward my bedroom's door, humming cheerfully to herself. Quickly, I threw off my covers and stood up, wrapping my robe over my thin cotton pajamas. My mother, meanwhile, slipped through the doorway, the door having been slightly ajar. Without a second thought, I followed her.

Yet, as soon as I left behind the comforts of my bedroom, I stepped outside into one of the sunny pathways of the Sohma family estate, wearing a traditional dark green kimono (something I admittedly have not worn in years). As is typical with most dreams, I didn't recognize the oddity in such a random change in setting and instead concerned myself with the light tugging at the bottom of my kimono. Looking down, I saw much of my family frolicking at my feet, all approximately nine inches tall. There was Momiji, Yuki, Haru, Hatori, Ayame, Kisa, Hiro, and Ritsu, as well as my mother and my great uncle Kaji who had been dead for about a decade. Yet, Kyou was nowhere to be found, nor was Akito or Shigure. "What happened to you all?" I managed to stammer in sheer bafflement.

"What makes you think something happened to us, my dear Kazuki?" Ayame questioned, "After all, you're the one who's so tall!"

"Well I – "

"Ayame's right," Hatori agreed, his tone, as always, dispassionate, "Something must have happened to you, as you seem to be a giant."

"I'm not a giant," I insisted, "You all shrunk!"

"Then, if that's so, you must have been the one who shrunk us," Yuki stated.

"Kazuki always did like to tower over people, didn't he?" Momiji commented and Haru nodded in agreement.

"That's not true!" I immediately protested when I felt a harsh tug at my kimono. I turned to see my mother smiling up at me.

"Don't worry, Kazuki, I'll always love you no matter how tall you are." She laughed and then said to the others, "Come on everyone! I've made everyone something delicious to eat!" With that, they all ran off, my mother leading the way.

"But wait!" I called after them and tried in vain to follow. To be honest, in the dream, I was quite surprised at how fast such tiny people could be. However, suddenly I heard a cry to my right. Sharply, I turned my head toward this disturbance.

Only a short distance away, I saw three very familiar little boys gathered outside one of the nearby homes. I studied them for a bit, before my eyes gradually moved to one of the house's windows, where a fourth boy, a year or so younger than the others, was peeking out in order to spy on the activities transpiring outside. "Is that me?" I wondered aloud as I slowly walked toward the home. When I was closer, I could make out all the children. There was Hatori, standing very quietly, and Ayame, silvery white hair just above his shoulders, with tears streaming down his eyes. And then my eyes fell upon Shigure, a six year old boy with his arms crossed and an expression of self-righteousness across his face. They were all gathered outside my house, the very same one my mother still resided in.

"Oh my," came a female voice, and I watched as my frantic mother emerged from our home, hair disheveled as always and eyes filled with worry. "Why are you crying Ayame?"

"Shigure broke my toy, Aunt Tomiko!"

"Oh my…" my mother muttered, biting her lower lip nervously. Memories quickly fled back to me about my mother's very infrequent but usually disastrous adventures in babysitting, and I knew that the rest of my family must have been desperate if they had left her alone to tend to the three boys (I suppose she was quite fortunate in having me as her only son, since I was so well-behaved as a child). Weakly, she said, "Well, I'm sure it was an accident."

"No, no it wasn't! He broke it on purpose!"

"Is that true?" my mother asked Shigure.

Shigure remained stubbornly quiet but Hatori now spoke; "He did do it on purpose, yes."

My mother's face grew very grave now and, as if heartbroken, she asked, "Shigure, why would you do such a mean thing?"

"Because, he used my toy without permission," the six year old answered.

"Now, Shigure, you should apologize," my mother suggested desperately.

"No – he deserved it!"

"You mustn't be so selfish, Shigure. You're always so selfish." My mother suddenly said very grimly. Her tone was no longer light and melodious, but exceptionally serious, something which I myself had rarely experienced. "Such a selfish, selfish boy. But you mustn't be, Shigure, the birds have told me."

"That's right, Shigure," Ayame agreed, wiping his eyes, "You are selfish! Selfish, selfish, selfish!"

Shigure just smiled and remarked coolly, "Well, at least my toy's not broken," before running off.

Ayame burst back into tears as Hatori tried to say, "Don't worry, Ayame, I'll try to fix your toy…"

"Oh no!" my mother in the meantime shouted to Shigure with dismay, "Please come back, Shigure. Your parents will be so upset with me…"

With this, my attention then turned to myself at five years of age, watching the whole thing with curious, inquisitive blue eyes. Yet, before I had much time to recollect the incident further, other voices were calling out. They all sounded aghast and absolutely disgusted and several gasps were uttered. At once, I knew immediately what was happening. With dread, I spun around and when I did, I found myself eleven years younger, wearing my school uniform. It appeared that I had just returned home to my family's estate on a bright, sunny afternoon to find a large commotion occurring outside the largest house at the Sohma residency, the house of our supposed "god."

"There you are, Kazuki, dear!" my mother exclaimed, running up to me with wild eyes and trembling hands.

"Mother, what is all this?" I began, quite confused as a sickening feeling developed deep within me.

"Our young god has revealed the cat's true form!" my mother exclaimed, her voice ringing oddly; her tone, her mannerisms, her expression – they all indicated that she had witnessed what she believed was a truly divine, holy event. "What a terrible, beautiful thing!" My eyes glanced apprehensively around, darting from family member to family member and studying there horrified faces, some even visibly sick.

Then, the familiar stench came back to me. It was sickeningly putrid and I instinctively clasped my hand over my nose to block it out as best as I could. I resisted the waves of nausea that crept through me and, unable to contain my curiosity, I approached the crowd in an effort to see the cat's true form with my own two eyes. My mother's voice, distant, warned me, "Kazuki, you mustn't look at such a dark, unholy thing for too long!"

Ignoring her, I managed to push myself past my family members, moving faster and faster as I grew closer. As I neared, it grew harder to breath, and I did not move my hand from my nose. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I stumbled to the front of the crowd and my young eyes fell onto it, onto what had only been a short time before a four and a half year old boy. No evidence of that boy remained, though; instead, a grotesque beast stood in his place. It screeched out, the sound it made excruciating and ear piercing, yet at the same time, tragically pained. At first, I immediately loathed the revolting monster for I was truly frightened, and I felt such an urge to run, but could not do so for my whole body was frozen in shocked terror.

However, just when I thought I was going to vomit in absolute disgust, the words of a middle-aged woman rung into my left ear so clearly that it was almost as if everything around us was utterly silent: "What a disgusting, filthy thing that child truly is."

I swallowed down my vomit, the nausea fading, and my heart began beating faster. Another person's words came to me: "We have to get rid of that _wretched_ thing – he doesn't belong with the rest of us!"

And another: "How horrible, how horrible!" Soon, my vision grew blurry, and I could only make out a rough outline of the cat's figure in a haze of color. The voices were becoming intense, their words racing through my head to the point where I couldn't tell who was saying what or if anyone was really saying anything at all.

"Daddy, daddy, I don't like him! I won't play with him ever!"

"It's so gross!"

"The cat needs to be locked up as it was before!"

"What a disgrace to this family! An absolute disgrace!"

Then, all was silent as my eyes focused in on a young Akito, around nine years old, dressed in a red kimono, and glaring venomously down at what she herself had revealed. I stared at her for a very long time before the quiet was shattered.

"Kazuki, why are you blonde?" A six year old boy asked. The scene of the monstrous spectacle disappeared around me, and I found that I had returned to my age once again. Only a short distance away were two little boys, as well as myself at six years old. We were walking across the Sohma Family residency grounds on a cloudy day.

"I don't know…" my younger self answered, staring at the ground.

"And why are your eyes blue?" the second boy continued the interrogation.

"Yeah, you're mother doesn't have blonde hair or blue eyes," the first one pointed out. I watched myself timidly shrug, eyes still glued to the ground.

"Is it because your mom was a whore? That's what my mom told her friends. She said you shouldn't have even been able to live, because Aunt Tomiko was a whore and shamed our family," said the second one.

"I don't know…" my younger self replied once more, obviously having not a clue as to what the word "whore" meant, but equally apparent that even as a child I knew it could be anything but good.

"Well, where's your father, Kazuki, huh?" the first one questioned some more.

"I don't have a father."

"Everyone's got a father!" The first one snapped.

"I don't."

"Yeah, you do," the second one piped up, "He just doesn't love you. That's what my mom says. If he did, he'd be around, you know."

"Oh, really?" the first one asked with curiosity, "That explains it. I always hear the older kids saying stuff about Aunt Tomiko, about how she's nuts and all. My parents say it, too, and that I shouldn't hang out with you because you're a disgrace to the family. They're always saying how she's crazy."

"That's why nobody likes you Kazuki, because you're father doesn't love you! Nobody wants to be friends with someone whose own father doesn't even like him!" The other one snickered cruelly.

The first one laughed, "That's right! And whose mom is crazy!"

"My mother isn't crazy!" I suddenly shouted with uncontrolled anger from where I watched in the distance. Neither the boys nor my younger self heard, but as soon as I disrupted the conversation, the memory was abruptly over, and I was again faced with another commotion at my family's estate. "What's going on?" I asked to no one, for I was standing alone. However, it did not take long for me to figure out was happening on my own.

I could see seventeen year old Kyou struggling and crying out as he was dragged by two tall men toward the dark prison that had been used for the other cats that had come before him. Kazuma was a distance away, lying still on the ground. The rest of the family, save Shigure who was strangely missing, stood silently observing the scene, Kagura sobbing softly and some of the others looking uncomfortable but compliant. Akito stood in the shadows, only her sinister, triumphant grin visible to my eyes.

Instinctively, I yelled, "Stop!" I went to run forward in the hopes to interfere with what was occurring, but I quickly felt strong arms wrap around me and hold me back.

"There's no use," explained Shigure, grasping me firmly.

"Let me go!" I told him, "I've got to stop this!"

"You can't save us, don't you see?" Shigure said lightly, "Why do you still think you can?"

My whole body began to tremble and I helplessly shouted, "Please, stop! Please! You don't have to do this!"

"He's just the cat, Kazuki," my cousin went on, "Nobody really cares about the cat, except for you."

As I watched them throw Kyou into that small dungeon, I felt my legs weaken as I cried out, "Why are you all standing there? Why are you all standing there?" It was happening too fast, and I felt powerless as I fought to no avail to break free of Shigure's strong grip.

"Well, it's all over now," Shigure remarked nonchalantly. He released me, and I crumbled to my knees. "The cat is locked up, just as tradition dictates he deserves."

"But it's not his fault he was born that way…it's not my fault…"

I lowered my head and knelt there alone for some time as all else around me began to vanish. Then, I heard the soft sound of church music. I raised my head to see that I was kneeling before the large doors of a grand cathedral. Without thinking, I stood up and pushed the double doors open, the bright white light of the outside pouring into the gothic structure. The music continued, peacefully echoing throughout the empty place of worship, and I slowly walked down the center aisle, my footsteps eerily resonating with each step. To the right of the altar, I saw Professor Jammerson playing the organ, while the rest of my former classmates from my days at Oxford and Harvard were singing in the choir. However, I did not have much time to contemplate this, for I had just raised my eyes to the very large cross hanging above the altar.

There, hanging on the cross, was Akito, draped in a tiger striped shawl and looking exceptional pale and sickly. Her hands and feet were nailed, but she wore a crown of shimmering gold. Deep red blood poured excessively down her fair limbs and dripped onto the white cloth that covered the altar. Blood also trickled out of her mouth, and the most rancid odor I had ever smelled came from her almost dead body. She raised her lowered head high and opened her eyes, more blood tearing from them, and said, "I am god." Then, I threw up.

And I awoke throwing up. I had broken out into a cold sweat, and with a touch of my forehead, I could tell I had a high fever. Struggling, I stumbled out of bed, out of my room, and down the hall, feeling very woozy and exceptionally dizzy; it was all for me to do not to collapse. Reaching my phone, I instinctively rang my mother, who as always tried to pretend she knew my call was coming (although I had to call her twice, as she slept through the first time I rang her) and told me she'd be over right away. I weakly hung up the phone and staggered to the only traditional room I had in my small house, where I laid down on the tatami floor, feeling too ill to unfold a futon for myself. Then, I drifted out of consciousness, waking up a while later to find myself laying on a futon with a cold compress on my forehead. Slowly opening my eyes, I could see my mother pacing nervously, her hair as unkempt as ever. To my left side knelt Hatori, and I felt my stomach flip inside me; I was in no mood to have Hatori see me in such a state.

"Oh, he's waking up!" my mom cried out in a shrill. I managed to give her a weak smile.

"Hatori, what are you doing here?" I asked foolishly. It was obvious Hatori thought so too.

"You had a very high fever. It's gone down some," he explained, taking my left arm and beginning to clean it.

"I feel fine now," I lied. Truth be told, while I certainly did feel better than I did when I initially woke up, I still felt very ill. Hatori did not bother answering me.

"It's because you weren't wearing a jacket today. It was so cold and all you had on was your suit," my mother said.

"Mother, I was hardly outside," I argued.

My mother shook her head. "Oh, what will you do when you're away from here, Kazuki dear? What if you are to get sick when you are back in America? Who will take care of you then? Who will you call? You'll be all alone!"

"Please, Mother, now is not the time – "

"You're not going," Hatori interjected, beginning it as a statement before segueing into a question, "are you?"

"Well, I – "

"Because, Akito has made it clear – "

At this, I grew unexpectedly angry; "You know, I was thinking,Hatori, thatI actually am going to go. Unlike the rest of our depressingly dependent family, I'm not going toallow Akito to control my life or the decisions I make." As I came to my heated conclusion, I felt a very painful jab in my left arm. Uttering a small cry and wincing, I glanced down to see Hatori finish giving me a shot. "That hurt," I snapped.

Hatori didn't bother to acknowledge my admittedly childish complaints, although I'm still quite sure he was purposefully rough when administering the injection. "You should begin to feel better in a few hours," he simply stated, collecting his belongings and rising. "I'll give you a call this evening to check your status." He then turned to my mother, "Have a good day, Aunt Tomiko."

My mother nodded as she and I watched him leave. "Oh, Kazuki," my mother spoke gravely once he had left, "What has become of you? You speak such blasphemy!"

"Mother…" I groaned, falling back on my futon. "I really don't want to hear this now."

"You must!" It was the only time I could remember her speaking so severely to me. Immediately, I felt my stomach grow sick again, and my skin began to prickle uncomfortably. I glanced over at her to see her hands trembling as she continued in a quivering voice, "Kazuki, I am very worried for you. Why did you upset your cousin, who so kindly came here so early to care for you? What gratitude did you show him?"

"Mother, please – "

"But that's not it, Kazuki – that's just a small matter. It's your _pride_. Oh, for my son to have fallen so far! You were to save this family, but all you have done is work to destroy it. You – you think you know, but you are foolish, naïve…and so self-righteous! But it's my fault, isn't it? I should have never allowed you go to that _place_ to begin with, and now you want to go back? Against your god's wishes? You are a shame to your family!"

I was quiet for a moment and simply stared up at the ceiling, my eyes wandering from the areas of shadow to where the light reflected off. Then, I nervously asked, "But mother, at least, well, at least you're not ashamed of me, are you?"

"Kazuki, dear, that doesn't matter. You are in great danger, don't you see? The curse will not allow for you to continue as you have. It's why your sick now, I'm most certain of it. Oh, and the terrible, terrible visions that I've been sent. I'm afraid you will be swallowed up if you don't do as you're expected. Please, Kazuki, listen to me, the warning is clear - _you must stop this sacrilege_."

"Mother, I – " My voice cracked as I stared at her, her eyes wide with fear and disappointment. I couldn't finish, so I gently told her, "Would it be all right if we discuss this later?"

My mother gave me a weak nod and stood up. "I'll just be in the kitchen, making you a light breakfast."

"Thanks." I watched her leave the room, swaying as she walked. Then, I closed my eyes. In all my life, I don't think I ever felt as miserable as I did at that moment, even with all the terrible sessions I had to endure with Akito and the rest of my family members. But that was because my mother was something entirely different. Throughout out all the cruelty and obnoxious attitudes I could expect from my relatives, I could always depend on her to be on my side. Yet, could I really rely on her any longer? I mean, how could she say that whether or not she was ashamed of me "didn't matter," when it mattered most of all?

Simply put, my mother's rejection stung more than anything else the rest of my family had ever said or done to me (and as previous sessions indicate, that was quite a lot). After all, she was the only person in my entire family I can honestly say I cared about.


	20. Akito Sohma Session 218

Thanks for all those who read and/or reviewed! It is greatly appreciated.

Here's the next session with who else but Akito? I think it's becoming apparent that things are beginning to move toward an end; there's not much left (which is really quite depressing for me)! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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_Patient – Akito Sohma; Session #218_

"I apologize, Akito, for having to reschedule your appointment. I was not feeling very well yesterday," I explained as the she spread herself out on the couch and glanced at me with semi-interest. "But we can begin if you'd like…" I trailed off awkwardly as I began to clumsily shuffle through her folder (it had grown very thick over the months). Akito eyed me with intrigue; it was obvious I was unusually fidgety and uncomfortable.

It had been over a day and that bizarre nightmare I had would not leave me. Even when I thought I had pushed it out of my head, it was still there, creeping its way out of my subconscious to interrupt my thoughts. What was worse was my mother's words to me kept ringing in my ears, reminding me of her disappointment, nagging me to no end: "_you must stop this sacrilege." _Add to that the increasing pressure to come up with an answer for Professor Jammerson, and I was having trouble concentrating on anything.

With my dream plaguing me, I couldn't really look at Akito without feeling squeamish, and I could tell that Akito gleefully noticed. Each time I glanced over at her, I was reminded of the eerie image of her hanging over me from her cross, of the blood dripping from her limbs and pouring out of her eyes, of the terrible smell that seemed to still linger in my nostrils. I tried my best to shake it, but I couldn't. Yet, despite all I had suffered with her, I still had certain things I wanted to discuss with her. So I tried again, "I, uh, actually wanted to ask you about the other day regarding the session we had following my professor's visit."

Akito was smirking with amusement. "Are you still not feeling well, Kazuki? You look pale…" She sniggered a bit.

I twitched slightly and shifted uneasily in my chair. "I suppose I still have a touch of something," I mumbled, keeping my eyes glued to the notes on my desk. "Now, about that session, I wanted to ask you about your anger – "

"I was angry because you defied me – such wrath is expected of any _strong _god," she explained simply.

"Maybe so, but I thought perhaps your expression of anger was your way of concealing some other deeper emotions?"

"Why won't you look at me?" Akito suddenly questioned, her gaze growing suspicious.

"Pardon?"

"This whole time – you won't look at me. You keep staring at your desk."

"Well, I, uh…" I stammered foolishly, averting my eyes to the window, where a cold November breeze bristled through the bare trees.

Akito curiously eyed me for a few more moments. Then, her expression changed, her eyes widening and an ecstatic smile spread across her face. "Could it be that our heretical and impious Kazuki has finally seen the errors of his ways and is ready to pay his proper respects to his god? Do you finally grovel before me?"

"No!" I blurted and, with little choice, truthfully explained, "It's just that the other night I dreamt about you." As soon as I said it, I regretted not having come up with a lie and felt my face grow hot with embarrassment.

"A dream…?" Akito raised an eyebrow, exceptionally intrigued.

"It's not what you think – _at all_," I clearly stated. I then remarked, "It's not really important."

"I thought you said we should always talk through what's bothering us," she snidely pointed out.

"It's not bothering me."

"It isn't?"

"No…" With this, I forced myself to look at her directly. Again, I felt squeamish, but I did not allow myself to avert my gaze. Swallowing hard, I said, "See? Nothing's bothering me at all."

Akito was not satisfied. She pressed, "But what is it that you dreamt about me?"

"It doesn't mean anything," I lied. Obviously, as a psychiatrist, I understood that dreams could have a variety of meanings, as they were a way for the subconscious to express itself (although I was admittedly not anxious to decipher the meaning of my own). Yet, I wasn't about to let Akito know that.

"If it didn't mean anything, than why does it bother you to tell me?"

"Because, it's personal…" I half-heartedly countered.

"Personal?"

"This isn't an appropriate conversation. What I want to talk to you about is why you got so angry at the notion of me leaving, especially when all you've expressed is contempt for my practice?"

"I don't want to talk about that now!" Akito snapped, sitting up erect with anger. "I want to talk about your dream!"

"Akito – "

"I will talk about your nonsense after we've finished discussing this."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, then I guess we won't be discussing anything."

"_Fine._" She glared at me before she laid down back on the couch. Harshly, she turned away from me. We were quiet for awhile. In the back of my mind I could faintly hear the sounds of Professor Jammerson playing the organ and the choir of my former friends. It was beginning to give me a migraine, and I rubbed my temples in hopes to soothe it. Relaxing a bit, I studied Akito – blocking out thoughts of the grotesque image my subconscious had dreamt up – and noticed she had begun to impatiently tap her thin finger rapidly against the back of the couch. Her left foot, which hung over the side of the couch, began to sway back and forth. At last, she said, "I'm no longer angry."

"Hmm?"

She sharply turned her head back to face me. "I'm not angry with you."

"You aren't?" I questioned with surprise.

"About the other day," she clarified. "I'm still angry that you won't tell me about your dream."

"I'm sorry, it's my fault – I shouldn't have mentioned it," I quickly apologized. Pausing, I then asked, "But you aren't angry about the other day?" To be honest, I didn't believe her.

"Not at all," she smiled, "I see now that I overreacted."

"Oh….that's good," I stated, but I was unconvinced. For some reason, something was bothering me. "But Akito, the others – well, the others told me you were pretty upset…"

"I'm not."

"No?"

"I said so, didn't I?" She was still grinning.

"I suppose so…." With nothing left to say, and knowing that continuing to pry would just provoke her, I simply said, "I guess we have nothing left to talk about."

"Yes," she agreed, lazily standing up, "I guess we don't." I watched her walk to the door and felt an old jolt in my stomach. It suddenly dawned on me; could this be the last session I would have with Akito? Was this, after 218 tiresome sessions, the way it was going to end? Reflecting on our time together, the sickening realization that I had made no progress with her began to sink in. Yet, at the same time, I felt relief as well. After all, I had tried my best and now I would finally be free of her and her overbearing, oppressive ways. I would just have to look beyond the failure – ignore it as best I could so as to not allow it to swallow me up with guilt - toward a promising future back in America.

Yes, it was finally over. I knew it, and I was sure she knew it, too. Managing a faint smile, I solemnly said, "Goodbye, Akito." She gave me a smirk back and nodded. But then – then she stated knowingly:

"See you later…"


	21. Kyou Sohma Session 126

Not much left...next up is another session with Kyou. I really like this one - I loved writing it. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading/reviewing!

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_Patient – Sohma Kyou; Session #126_

Akito's final words to me nagged at me to the point where I became obsessive. At first, I didn't think much of it. It was only until right after she had left that I started to question the oddity of her saying such a thing. I mean, what did she mean by "see you later," anyway? We were saying what seemed to me to our final goodbyes; "see you later" had no place in such an exchange. Sure, it could merely be explained away as a figure of speech – people say it all the time without actually meaning it - but it was the way she said it that added to its bizarreness. It couldn't be that she honestly believed I was staying and rejecting the amazing opportunity that Professor Jammerson had presented to me? While I suppose I hadn't really given a definite answer, my discussions with all of my family members heavily implied that I would be leaving for Boston as soon as possible. In the least, I hadn't given any indication that I was planning on rejecting the offer or that I was particular happy living at the Sohma family estate. Yet, Akito said _"see you later" _at the conclusion of our 218th session – not "goodbye" or "so long" or "farewell," but "_see you later_." Looking back, it seems funny to me that I spent over a day trying to shake the disturbing images of Akito from my dream and all it took was three small words from her to have me forget it completely.

Perhaps it was because I was so busy dwelling on that simple expression, but I failed to anticipate Kyou's reaction to my likely departure, and so I was rather unprepared for what I had thought would be an ordinary session. "Oh, good afternoon, Kyou," I greeted him when he marched into the room. He didn't sit down but instead stood a few feet in front of my desk.

"So, you're just going to leave?"

"What?"

"You're going back to America, right? That's it?"

"Well, I – "

"You've really – " He broke off mid-sentence and sighed in aggravation. "You know what? Just forget it."

"I don't want to forget it, Kyou," I told him truthfully. "Why don't you sit down and we'll discuss this, all right?"

"What's the point?" Kyou shot back and glared at me.

"Why, to help you talk through your feelings so you can begin to grow as a person – the point hasn't changed."

Kyou rolled his eyes and let out a sharp, abrupt chuckle. "I can't believe this. I really can't believe it. And to think I actually started to feel sorry for you. I thought, 'wow, this guy's really got it hard. He's got to listen to all of us every single day and deal with Akito and Haru and Ayame and Ritsu and everyone.' You know, I was really impressed for awhile, because I couldn't believe someone in this family actually cared about somebody other than themselves. But it turns out, you're just as selfish as the rest of them, aren't you?"

"Kyou…" I frowned and slumped in my chair. I did not have the strength or the will to protest his contention, maybe because I agreed with him; if I left, I would be behaving selfishly. At the same time, there were some virtues in "selfishness," weren't there? I'd have to try and make myself happy sometime eventually, too, didn't I?

Kyou studied me a while before averting guilty eyes to his feet. He then let out another laugh – this one lighter, sadder – and shook his head. "Who am I kidding? You should go." He walked over to the couch and sat down. Reluctantly, he began, "Look, Kazuki – I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that or to make you feel guilty or anything….and I'm – I'm sorry about the last session, too. I don't know what I was saying. I mean, I was angry and all about Akito reading my files, but I know you didn't mean for any of that to happen. I guess I'm the selfish one, huh?"

"Maybe selfishness is just our family's curse," I said with a small smirk.

"Yeah, I guess so…" he trailed off with his own melancholy grin. "Seriously, though, you should go. Really. I'd go if I was you. Half of me wishes I could go with you."

"Well, you know, you could still study abroad. Even in Boston, if you'd like. I won't have to leave for a few weeks, so we'll have a bit of time to find a program for you, and I'm sure Professor Jammerson has some connections - "

"It's all right, Kazuki," Kyou interrupted me. The look in his eyes told me that even at his young age of seventeen he had become disillusioned with such hopeful optimism. For him, no matter how much he longed for it, such dreams could never be. "I've only got a few more months till graduation, and I've still got to beat Yuki. Besides, I do want to stay - there are things I want to stay for. But, uh, thanks for everything. These sessions have been really helpful."

"They have?"

Kyou frowned and admitted; "Not really…sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I kind of had a feeling," I assured him. After a moment, I asked, "But Kyou, can I then ask you – well, if you haven't really been getting much out of our time together, why were you so angry to learn that I might be leaving?"

At this, Kyou's cheeks grew bright pink and he lowered his head with embarrassment. With hesitation, he started, "Well, it's stupid but…well, I guess I thought that maybe you would help me."

"Help you? But I haven't – "

"Not through the sessions. I mean, well, besides Master, you're the only one who doesn't hate me in our family, you know? You don't see me as a monster or even as the cat. Hell, you don't even really believe in the curse like everyone else does. You're just really unlike everyone else – in a good way, though. And then you're also really smart, too. But it's not just that, because Hatori's also smart. It's more like you have all this experience that no one else has, so no one really knows what to make of you, even Akito. Sometimes I don't even know how to react to you because what you suggest can be so out there. I suppose it's like you understand everything differently that the rest of us do.

"I don't know if I'm even making sense anymore. But I guess I just thought that maybe you were on my side, like you were looking out for me or that you were fighting for me. And now with you leaving and with graduation coming up in only a few months….I don't know, it's really stupid, like I said, but I thought that you would somehow save me."

It was silent. Kyou would not look up at me, his orange hair falling over his forehead and shadowing his lowered eyes. And I just sat there, speechless, all sensation leaving my limbs until the only feeling I had left was a heaviness weighing down my stomach. I could not take my eyes off him, my cousin sitting there so helplessly, all hope drained from his exhausted body; the dread of what we both knew awaited him in just four months had hung over him for so long it seemed as if he was tired of trying to fight it.

I had no more words for him nor could I formulate a single thought to comfort myself; Kyou's words had already ensnared our tongues and filled up our minds that there was no room for anymore.


	22. Yuki Session 126, Interlude 4 Part 1

Hi all! Well, it's been awhile, and I'm so sorry for not posting sooner. I've definately been meaning to, but I suppose I've been busy. Anyhow, I really enjoyed writing these parts. The first is a session with Yuki; it's short, but I really like how it wraps up.

The second part begins an interlude that'll conclude with the next chapter. Unfortunately, it's a little bit longer than I'd like (personally, I kind of prefer staying closer to the session format), but I think it's necessary to move the story along. Moreover, on a major plus side, it has one of my favorite characters to write, Ayame, so all in all, this was a lot of fun to write!

In any event, I feel rather sad, because this story is coming to an end soon. I just wanted to thank everyone for having read thus far and or having written reviews. Also, I hope you all continue to enjoy the story as you begin to read its final chapters. Now, without further adieu, another chapter for your reading pleasure..._

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_Patient – Sohma Yuki; Session #126_

My session with Yuki lasted for about ten minutes. He came into my office with a faint grin as he greeted me: "Good afternoon, Kazuki."

"Hello Yuki…" I muttered. Kyou had only left a little while before, and I was still lost in thought and heavy with depression.

"I know we have a session scheduled today, but I unfortunately can't stay."

"Oh?"

"I would have called earlier, but it just came up, really. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience."

"No, it's okay," I said.

"Also, I wanted to say goodbye. I heard that you'll be leaving, and since this would've been our last session, I wanted to thank you for your time. You've been a big help to me." His smile widened and I could see the relieved satisfaction in his expression; he was very happy that he would no longer have to endure any more sessions with me.

"You're welcome, Yuki," I managed to say pleasantly and he turned to go. Yet, as he did, for some unknown reason something snapped in me. Suddenly, I asked, "Yuki, how was I 'a big help' to you?"

"What?" Yuki spun around innocently, but his expression indicated that he was not expecting such an interrogation.

"You just thanked me and said I was 'a big help' to you. How was I?"

"Well, you listened to me…" Yuki began awkwardly.

"And? How did that help you?"

"Because, well…you gave me some useful advice, too."

"Did I? Tell me then, how did you apply my advice to your life?"

"Kazuki, I really have to go now. I'm sorry," Yuki apologized, desperate to leave. I, however, would not let him.

"Don't worry, Yuki. This will only take a few more minutes. Then I'll let you go," I told him before I went on, "Now, how was my advice useful if you didn't apply it to your own life?"

"I didn't say I didn't apply it," Yuki said slightly defensively.

"So you did? How so? Give me an example."

"I – I can't think of anything at the moment, Kazuki."

"I see. So then my advice wasn't really useful, was it?"

"I didn't say that…"

"Exactly," I stated, "you didn't say that. Instead, you said I gave you some useful advice. Why did you say that if it wasn't true?"

"I didn't – I – I don't understand what you're trying to do, Kazuki. I was just giving you a compliment," Yuki admitted, defeated.

"But you're lying. You're making things up just so that I'll see you as pleasant and like you. But I can tell its only idle flattery. You don't mean any of it."

"That's not true, Kazuki – "

I cut him off with a laugh. "Yuki, I'm a psychiatrist. I can see right through it. I've seen through it since our first session together. You can't stand coming to see me and frankly, I don't think you really like me at all."

"Of course I like you – "

"Will you just be honest?" I demanded, "I don't care. Tell me the truth – pretend I'm Ayame if you have to. Tell me that you hate coming here and that you find me annoying and pretentious and a troublemaker. Tell me that you don't take anything I tell you seriously and that you don't even trust me, because you know Akito snooped through my patient files once. Tell me that you're actually exceedingly happy that I'll be leaving, because then I'll finally be off your case and you can go back to redirecting all your own self-hatred toward Kyou without a guilty conscience. _Just be honest_."

Yuki had turned bright pink in embarrassment. He stared at me for awhile, not sure of what to say. Slowly, he started, "It's not – I don't really think – I mean – well, all right, I don't really like coming to see you for our sessions."

"Okay then," I replied with satisfaction.

But it was like I had opened the flood gates, because Yuki wasn't done; "And I suppose I don't really like you either. No, I – no, I'm sure I don't like you. I find you to be out of touch and disrespectful and yes, annoying. I don't agree with any of your advice, primarily because I find it to be idiotic and impractical, even if you did go to some elite institutions. I also believe that you're patronizing and that you think you somehow know more than the rest of us simply because you spent some time abroad. And, yes, I don't trust you, because you lied to me, which makes you a hypocrite too, who'd just as quickly lie to save face, but then ridicules me for doing the same. So, to be honest, because that's what you wanted, I really can't wait until you leave and I won't have to deal with you anymore. And, as for Kyou – well, he is the _cat_, whether you like it or not, and that's the reason why I hate him." Yuki exhaled when he finished and, glancing back at me, he looked even more embarrassed than before. "Kazuki, I'm sorry, I…well, goodbye." He stammered off before quickly retreating to the door and leaving my office.

All it took was ten minutes – ten minutes following one hundred and twenty five meetings together, and I finally had a breakthrough. Maybe it was brief and wouldn't last, but for a short time, I got my cousin Yuki to finally be honest and to stop worrying about what I would think because of it. As I watched him go, I smiled.

* * *

The next day at around seven o'clock in the morning, I was abruptly awoken. "Good morning, Kazuki! Rise and shine!" came the gleeful voice of Ayame, who was standing in my bedroom doorway. 

I groaned and had trouble opening my eyes. "How did you get in here?"

"Dear Aunt Tomiko was kind enough to lend me her key to your lovely home," Ayame explained. "Now, get up, won't you? It's such a beautiful day – why waste it in bed? Besides, with your departure looming in the very near future, I thought it was about time that I finally save you from this deathly estate so that your memories of Japan aren't completely dismal. After all, you can't even remember the last time you saw the outside, can you? So, we're going to make a grand day of it, and I'll take you everywhere that's anywhere! Oh, and you'll finally get to see my little shop – I'm sure you'll love it!"

Groggily, I sat up in bed and glanced at the clock on my end table. "Ayame, it's seven o'clock in the morning…" I grumbled between yawning, "And I have an appointment at ten thirty with Momiji."

"Why, I cancelled all of your appointments for today! After all, I couldn't leave all that hard work to you - how inconsiderate do you think I am, Kazuki?"

"Ayame…" I sighed, resting my head against the backboard of my bed. Another session with Momiji had yet again been interfered with, although I suppose I was somewhat grateful that it was Ayame and not Akito impinging on it.

"Hurry, hurry! Every moment that passes is a moment that's gone to us forever!" Ayame sort of sang as he drifted out of my room, apparently expecting me to be following soon after. And I, despite my deep desire to crawl back under the covers for a couple more hours of sleep, easily succumbed to my cousin's whimsical wishes.

* * *

A few hours later, Ayame and I found ourselves in a small restaurant having lunch. Admittedly, I had brightened much since Ayame first awoke me and was glad to be out for once and enjoying what was a beautiful, albeit rather brisk, late autumn Saturday. We sat at a table by the windows, overlooking the busy streets, and it was oddly refreshing staring at the different passersby, all of whom looked lively and pleasant. 

"Now, I know I've asked you this a dozen times already, but tell me again, Kazuki dear, what did you think of my fabulous little shop?" Ayame asked after having finished a couple bites of his meal, "And no changing the subject this time!"

I cringed a bit unintentionally; had I been that obvious avoiding the topic since we visited the shop earlier that day? Uneasily, I said, "Well, uh, Ayame, I think it's, uh, commendable that you and Mine are comfortable enough to explore your sexualities in such a – "

"Oh, no, no!" Ayame was now the one cringing as he waved his hands in protest. "Please, none of that psychiatrist stuff – it's _so _boring, no offense of course. What I want to know is what _you _think – personally!"

"Er…" I frowned. "To be honest, Ayame, it's really not for me…"

"Ah, I can't say I'm surprised," Ayame smiled, "You're all alike, aren't you? You intellectuals, that is. Yuki, Hatori, you – all the same! So incredibly stuffy!" At this, I grimaced; I guess I didn't like the idea of being compared to Yuki and Hatori more than I thought. Maybe Ayame noticed, for he added, "Although, I must say, Kazuki, at least you have _potential_. I'm starting to think my dear little brother and my closest, closest friend are both lost causes. It's so terribly unfortunate that you'll be leaving soon – I could have made something out of you!"

I couldn't help but laugh at this and assured him, "Well, I'll come back and visit some time, Ayame. And you can visit me, too, if you'd like."

"Sure, sure," Ayame murmured unconvinced, fiddling with the straw in his glass. "I hate to admit this, but part of me does wish Akito had stayed mad at you."

"Yes, well, I suppose even Akito can't stay angry forever," I remarked abrasively, glancing out the window; the last thing I wanted to talk about was Akito.

"Oh, how terrible of me! To think, I would wish such a thing on you, just so you'd stay. Still, it was quite surprising, seeing her come around like that! I almost couldn't believe it myself, and I'll believe anything. After all, just this Wednesday she was talking about locking you up somewhere at the estate just so that you'd never leave! Feeding you through a slot in a door! Sounds terrible, doesn't it?"

"Yes…" I trailed off uncomfortably, suddenly losing my appetite and pushing my plate away.

"But, you must be quite wonderful at this therapy thing, Kazuki, because the next day – from what Tori-san tells me – she did a complete turn around, saying she overreacted and you can do whatever you want. I swear, no one's seen anything like it! It all seems rather amusing, I have to say." Picking at the last few things on his plate, he asked, "Shall we order desert?"

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"Oh…" Ayame slumped in his chair and studied me through his narrowed snake eyes. He looked suddenly anxious to lighten the mood, disappointed in himself for having brought such a serious note to our otherwise carefree conversation. Perking up, he declared, "Well, let's forget all that! What shall we do now? Something fun, of course…" Placing his finger to the side of his chin, he pondered for a moment, before his face lit up. "Oh, I know! Let's go visit Yuki at his school!"

"They still hold classes on Saturdays?"

"No, not anymore, but Gure-san tells me that all the students are working hard to put on their adorable school festival! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Yes, but I don't know if we should really interfere. We might embarrass him."

"Don't be silly, Kazuki, darling!" Ayame stood up proudly. "How could anyone be embarrassed when they have a big brother as fabulous as I am?" Before I could protest, my cousin called to the waiter, "Check, please!" Then, he stated, "Anyhow, it doesn't matter what you say, Kazuki, I've made up my mind. Besides, it's about time that you see all you missed out on in your teenage years!" With that, Ayame flashed me a wide grin, and I immediately knew I had been defeated once more.


	23. Interlude 4 Part 2, Akito Session 219

Well, I wanted to thank everyone for reading and reviewing my story! I love that people are enjoying my work and I appreciate all the feedback I receive. I also apologize for not updating in a while; college is so crazy, it really keeps me busy! However, with school finally over, hopefully I can finish this up by the end of the summer. After all, I am sadly nearing the end, so it should take that long...

Anyhow, the first part of this (the second part of Interlude 4) was a lot of fun to write and I hope I did a good job with my characterizations. As for the second part, it was nice to finally return to writing Akito in all her crazy glory (it's been so long!). However, I'm afraid the presentation of the session might come off a bit problematic; **therefore, I must note that despite an analogy made in this part, in no way is Akito supposed to be representative or symbolicof the Judeo-Christian-Islamic God. **Akito, obviously, perverts everything, including religion, and as for Kazuki, his character is purposefully not a religious one, as he is so keen on practicality and reason, that he is a little bit more relaxed intermsusing religion for wordly analogies, if that makes sense. Well, I guess I don't want to spoil anything, but I'll just say I'm very sorry if I offend anyone!

Anyhow, thank you all again and enjoy!

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For a day when classes were not in session, Kaiwa Academy was bustling with student activity. I watched with curiosity at the young people scurrying around and setting up stands on the lawn. As I had spent my teenage years studying in the west, I had unfortunately missed out on many of the experiences of the typical Japanese student, including school festivals. Viewing the bubbly, youthful commotion, though, made me for the first time actually feel some regret for having not gone to high school in Japan. 

A fall breeze rippled past me, and I stuck my hands in my pocket, feeling foolish for haven forgotten to bring gloves after just recovering from being so sick. Still, despite this, I was grateful for my heavy tan coat and for the dark red turtleneck sweater I had decided to throw on. I glanced over at Ayame, who seemed unaffected by the cold and was beaming with giddiness. "Oh, to be young again!" he exclaimed joyfully.

"Yes," I agreed with a smile. "They appear to be having a lot of fun."

"Don't they? I absolutely love it!" Ayame then took my arm and began to pull me along. "Come on, now! Let's see who we can find."

As we walked, several students began to stare at us, for it must have been rather suspicious to them to see two adult men wandering across their school grounds. Yet, the awkwardness thankfully didn't last long; after a few minutes of walking, we were suddenly greeted by an unfamiliar girl standing a few feet beyond us and waving enthusiastically. "Hi!" she called to us.

Ayame immediately released me to run over to her. "Tohru, it's so good to see you! I'd hug you, but – well, you know all about that!"

"Yes, it's good to see you, too! Yuki didn't tell me you were coming today."

"He doesn't know! It's kind of a surprise."

"Oh…" the young girl trailed off a bit nervously before her eyes fell on me, for I had caught up to them. "Hello," she said sweetly.

"Why, how rude of me!" Ayame declared. "You two haven't been introduced have you? This is Tohru Honda. She lives with Shigure." My eyes widened at this new information; so, I was finally meeting the mysterious girl I had heard so much about from Yuki, Kyou, and the others. Yet, as I quickly studied her, I began to feel disappointed. She certainly didn't seem extraordinary in any way, nor could I imagine a girl of her age having some kind of remarkable insight into the world, as so many of my relatives had implied. If anything, she appeared to be very plain and simple, albeit perhaps a bit too polite and cheery, as she smiled at me widely. Still, despite this, I managed a courteous smile as Ayame continued with the introductions. "This, Tohru, is Kazuki, yet another member of our very large family, as well as the tortured Sohma psychiatrist. He's also quite a smart one, although not as nearly as boring as my little brother. Don't you worry, though - he's not cursed with the zodiac, which I have to say, is probably a good thing for everyone, because I doubt he could handle that sort of pressure!" Ayame laughed. "Sadly, he won't be with us much longer, for he's set to return to America in just a couple weeks."

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Kazuki. I hope we can become good friends before you leave." She bowed respectfully.

"It's nice to meet you, too – "I began, but did not get to say much else.

"What are you doing here?" came the infuriated but controlled voice of Yuki from our left.

"Why, Yuki!" Ayame exclaimed, throwing his arms around his younger brother. "I've missed you so much – it's been so long, after all!"

"I just saw you three days ago," Yuki reminded him, pushing free of Ayame's embrace.

"Three days is too much, I say," Ayame insisted, but pouted a bit at Yuki's obvious annoyance. "Aren't you happy to see your big brother? Tohru is!"

"I can't say that I'm – " Yuki stopped mid-sentence when he noticed me. "What are you – I mean, I didn't know you were here, too, Kazuki. Hello…." Uncomfortably, he lowered his head and his fair cheeks grew pink; it was apparent that he hadn't bargained on having to see me again for quite some time after our last session.

"Hello, Yuki." I gave him a reassuring smile in the hopes to ease some of his embarrassment, but it didn't seem to work.

However, it was soon my turn to feel embarrassed, for Momiji had spotted me from where he was working with Haru and Kyou, and in a matter of seconds, the three had made there way to where we were standing, all appearing quite surprised to see me at their school (interestingly, the presence of Ayame didn't seem to surprise them much at all). "Kazuki, why are you here?" Momiji questioned, "Ayame told me that you were sick today and couldn't see any patients."

"He certainly doesn't look sick," Haru noted nonchalantly.

"Well, I – " I stammered, looking for a response but was unable to come up with anything remotely reasonable.

"What can I say?" Ayame interjected with a grin. "I told a little lie. But it's not as if Kazuki doesn't deserve a day off."

"Why'd you have to bring him here, though?" Kyou spoke up, staring at his feet as he did; he obviously didn't like seeing me outside my office, either.

"We can go, of course," I hastily blurted out, feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

"No, it's not – you don't have to go…" Kyou sort of muttered, his tone a bit begrudging, but to who, I'm not sure.

"I'm glad you're here, Kazuki!" Tohru suddenly said. "I've heard only a little about you before today, but I'd really like to learn more, if you don't mind that is."

"There's really nothing to learn, I'm afraid," I told her, feeling ill at ease under the weight of her eager eyes.

"He's wrong about that," Ayame was quick to disagree, "There's tons to learn about Kazuki. He's been all around the world, after all."

Tohru grinned widely. "Really? How amazing. I haven't really been anywhere, but that's okay. I'm sure one day I'll get the chance to see some of the world, even if it is only one place. Still, to have seen the whole world – wow!"

"I haven't actually seen all of it…"

"What was your favorite place, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, I know this one!" Ayame chimed in, "You told me before. It's Paris, isn't it?"

I lightly laughed. "No," I corrected him, "It's Athens, actually."

"Athens? Where's Athens?" Tohru asked.

"Beats me," Haru shrugged.

"Isn't it in Italy or something?" Kyou mumbled. Tohru and Momiji seemed to be pondering this suggestion, as I tried my best not to cringe at how uneducated they were all when it came to world geography.

"It's not in Italy, it's in Greece," Yuki said edgily, hostilely adding, "Everybody know that." However, by the looks of surprise on everyone else's faces by this revelation, it was apparent that not everyone did.

"What do I care, anyway?" Kyou hotly asked, crossing his arms and turning away. "I don't see why we have to talk about all this traveling stuff for. It's all just really stupid and a waste of time."

"For you, maybe," Yuki remarked coolly.

"For you, too!" Kyou snapped, clenching his hands into fists, while Yuki eyed him icily.

"Please don't fight," Tohru swiftly cut in, stepping between them in order to prevent them from making any sort of physical contact.

Both of my cousins eased up a bit with this plea, but the frustration remained in their eyes. "Fine, whatever. It doesn't matter to me. It's not like I'd want to visit a boring place like Athens, anyway. Let Kazuki go wherever he wants, for all I care. I'd rather stay here." Then, he marched off, disappearing behind the school building.

"Stupid cat," Yuki said softly under his breath before turning around and walking in the opposite direction of Kyou.

"Wait, Yuki, my darling little brother!" Ayame shouted, gleefully chasing after him. Following this, Momiji and Haru were quick to say their farewells to me and return to their work for the school festival. With them gone, I was left alone with Tohru.

"I'm sorry," she instantly apologized. "I didn't mean to upset everyone."

"It's not your fault," I assured her. "Really, it's not. My cousins are just upset, because, well, things are difficult for them…"

"I know! That's why I should have been more sensitive." Tohru frowned, eyes averting to the grass beneath her.

"Please, don't blame yourself. You have done plenty for this family, I promise you."

"Have I?"

"Yes, but unfortunately, I can't say more than that, because of patient confidentiality."

"Oh, I understand. I'm just glad that maybe I've been a little bit helpful. I'd like to think I have been, but sometimes I'm not sure."

I smiled at this. "Yes, I certainly know that feeling."

"Hmm?"

"It's nothing – it's just, well, I can't say I've been too successful during my time as my family's therapist. In fact, sometimes I think I've just made things worse."

"Oh no!" Tohru looked me directly in the eye as she spoke, "You've been so important, I'm certain."

"Thank you for your kind words. But I'm afraid that's all they are. I think it'll be better for everyone once I'm gone from here. It's as if I don't belong – I never belonged."

"Don't say that," Tohru clasped onto my hands, almost begging. "That's terrible, to feel that way, as if you don't fit in."

"Oh, no, please," I let out an almost unnatural laugh for I instantly realized I was saying too much to a girl I hardly knew and was desperate to cover. Worse yet, I was burdening her with my problems and simply feeling sorry for myself, perhaps with the subconscious hope that she would feel sorry for me, too, and offer me some sympathy. Hastily, I went to correct my error; "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, truly I am. I was just thinking out loud, I suppose, but it's nothing at all, especially nothing for you to concern yourself with. I hate bothering you with all this nonsense."

"But it's no bother at all - I want to help you if I can. After all, you've done so much for Yuki, Kyou, everyone."

"I haven't really."

"Yes, you have – "

"I haven't," I repeated, but with a sharpness that startled me. Feeling my face grow hot, I said, "I apologize for being so abrasive…."

"It's okay. But I want you to know that you have helped. I understand, though, that sometimes it's hard, because it doesn't always seem like you're helping. And maybe sometimes you're not at all. But that's when I believe it's most important that you keep trying, because, eventually, if you try hard enough, you really can help anyone. And even though it might take a really long time to get any evidence that you've been of any use at all, I think it's worse to just give up on someone, because that doesn't just hurt that person, but it hurts you, too. You see, every time you give up on someone, you give up on yourself - you hurt your heart by making it harder for it to love again. And believing in someone enough to help them is more help than some of us know. That's why you've got to keep trying, even during those hard times when you don't think you do anything to help at all."

I listened carefully to her words, absorbed them into me. They came from child-like innocence, from a young soul untouched by an old world. What she said was unrealistic, of course – you certainly cannot help everyone – but there was something moving to her idealized homily. I understood what she meant, for my inability to be strong enough to continue to help my family was detrimental to perhaps all parties involved; my family because it only proved what they were saying all along (that they were, indeed, "cursed") and myself, because it caused me to lose faith in them and hardened me in a way I didn't know I could be. It was as if, by trying to escape through the convenient arrival of Professor Jammerson, I had to push away any love or caring or attachment I had to the family I had been so desperately trying to help. I had to turn my back to them, change any warmth and affection I had into cold aloofness, in order to give up on them completely so as to not run away feeling guilty.

Tohru interrupted my thoughts with a smile and laughter; "But I'm sure you know this already! Kyou's always telling me how smart and kind you are."

This caught me off guard. I blinked, baffled at this revelation, and in disbelief, questioned, "He does?"

Tohru nodded, "Yes. He says that he likes you because you're smart and treat him better than everyone else."

"Does he really?"

"Well, not exactly like that, but I know that's what he means. I think he enjoys going to your sessions, too, although he doesn't talk about them much."

I looked at her skeptically. Was she just making up things to make me feel better or was she simply just assuming the best? Certainly, it appeared that way, for she had gone from being definite about the "nice things" Kyou said about me to implying that she was simply guessing that's what he meant. Yet, there seemed to be something more to it, something I couldn't understand. She did live with Kyou, and she did spend a lot of time with him; was it possible that she did have some greater insights into the family that not even I, after so many sessions, could have? In any event, I trusted her for an unknown reason. It was as if she demanded it from the earnest sincerity she presented herself with. I started, "Tohru, thank you – "

"Please, don't thank me - I should be thanking you for all your great work! I know everyone will miss you."

"Not all of them."

"Maybe not in the same way, but they will. I know Kyou will."

I frowned at this and hesitantly asked, "Tohru, is Kyou upset…about me leaving, I mean?"

"Oh, I – " the young girl grew flustered. "No! I mean, yes! I mean – well, he did say – but, no – yes – I don't know."

"What?"

Tohru bowed her head and clasped her hands together. "Please forgive me! I know you have a great opportunity in America, and I don't want to spoil it for you. I'm sure Kyou will be fine eventually. I am so sorry for making you feel guilty about going."

"You're not, Tohru," I lied. "But I should be going now. Let Ayame know that I left, please."

"Yes, of course!"

"Goodbye, then."

"Bye bye! It was nice meeting you. And please, have a safe trip back to America!" As I left, she waved as enthusiastically as when she greeted Ayame and I just a half hour before. But as I grew further and further away from her, her words to me grew louder in my mind: _"You see, every time you give up on someone, you give up on yourself - you hurt your heart by making it harder for it to love again...That's why you've got to keep trying, even during those hard times when you don't think you do anything to help at all."_

She was right – I knew she was right – but I didn't want to admit it. I had already made my decision, after all; I was accepting Professor Jammerson's offer and returning to Harvard to do research. Besides, I had done all I could for my family, and nothing seemed to be working. What else could I do? Yet despite my reasoning, Tohru Honda's words remained: _"I understand, though, that sometimes it's hard, because it doesn't always seem like you're helping...But that's when I believe it's most important that you keep trying, because, eventually, if you try hard enough, you really can help anyone." _

It then struck me; no matter how I tried to rationalize it, I really was just running away. I was giving up on my family just so I could give into my own selfish desires. And, admittedly, maybe some of them did deserve to be abandoned (Akito comes to mind), but many of them did not. How could I just go and let Ritsu think that he was doomed to forever be trapped by his own insecurities? Or let Haru just accept that he had no choice but to succumb to his "black" form? Could I just let Yuki continue to feel woefully inadequate because of Akito's cruelty to him or let Hatori go being plagued by guilt for something that wasn't entirely his fault? Would I really just leave to further fuel my family's notion that they were cursed, destined for nothing but misery their whole lives, forced to worship a false god in what could only be described as a cult-like setting? Was I willing to forget about my mother and all her hopes that I could somehow save the Sohma family?

And when my mind came to Kyou, I could barely swallow my guilt to keep from choking on it. If I were to leave - in essence, to heartlessly give up on helping him - I would never forgive myself. To think he had thought I could save him, and I thoughtlessly had let him down, let him down because I couldn't be bothered with it anymore. No wonder he felt so helpless, as if hope was slipping away, because I _was _his hope. How could I just leave, allow him to think that his situation was a lost cause, that he was destined to live in a prison his whole life simply because he was "the cat?" There was no way I could agree to Professor Jammerson's generous offer with such a burden on my shoulder. Looking back, my final decision was certainly not decided in the most pragmatic fashion and perhaps, in many ways, it was a mistake; it was, after all driven by raw emotionalism. Still, the conscious is a powerful entity, and any man worth anything has principles he must follow. Yet, as the realization that I would be rejecting Professor Jammerson's proposal sunk in, more words again rang in my head. This time, however, they weren't Tohru Honda's:

_"See you later…" _Akito had known what my decision would end up being all along.

_

* * *

Patient – Sohma Akito Sohma; Session #219 _

As soon as I returned back to my home at the Sohma estate, I sat down and prepared a letter for Professor Jammerson declining his offer. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what I put in it; I had quickly jotted whatever came to my head without much thought, for I knew if I began thinking about it, I would surely begin second guessing myself. Once I finished it, I didn't bother rereading it, but hastily sealed the letter in an envelope and arranged to have it arrive at his hotel by the next morning. With that finished, I telephoned my mother to let her know the "good" news (to which she told me that she already knew that I wouldn't be leaving). Since I was sure that my mother would gleefully share this with everyone else in our family by night fall, I didn't bother to let any one else know. Instead, I stood in my arm chair and stared at the wall, the realization of what I did slowly and miserably sinking in. Eventually, I drifted to sleep, not waking until sometime the next morning with a very uncomfortable cramp in my neck and back.

I suppose I had expected more of a reaction from Professor Jammerson, whether it be some kind of disappointment or anger. A small part of me even impractically thought that he, despite what an accomplished man he was, would actually come see me at my home, begging for me to reconsider. However, a couple days later I received a simple postcard reeking of indifference. On it, he wrote, "Thank you for considering my offer. I understand you're decision and wish you well. If you ever return to Boston, please give me a call." And that was it. I admit, I don't really know what I expected him to do except respect my choice to stay in Japan. Perhaps I am just a bit bitter about the whole thing now that I look back on it.

Akito was, unfortunately, the first patient I saw after my decision to stay. Throughout our session she remained exceptionally smug and extremely satisfied at what she assumed to be the control she had over me. Nevertheless, I tried my best to maintain my professionalism as our session progressed. "So, Akito," I was saying with about fifteen minutes left in our excruciatingly long two hour meeting, "throughout our many, many sessions together, we've discussed this impulse you have to exercise power over others around you, particularly those within this family. Do you feel that this need might be stemming from a lack of – "

Suddenly, Akito broke out into a hysterical fit of laughter. Her cackling rang sharply in my ears and caused me to feel unexplainably squeamish all over. Awkwardly, I shifted in my leather chair and asked, "Is something funny, Akito?"

She nodded as her laughter faded into a few coughs. Exhausted by her outburst, she lay limply on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. Slowly, she turned her head to face me, grinning wildly. There was something in her eyes, something that wasn't right; they were filled with an unnatural psychotic fervor. As she stared at me, I started to feel oddly claustrophobic in my considerably large office. She then sat up slightly and said in a rather peculiar voice, "Kazuki, let me analyze _you_."

Swallowing hard, I told her, "I don't think that would be a very good idea..."

"Why not? You get to judge us all the time," she remarked cheekily.

"I've already told you that I'm not judging anyone," I managed to say, before hastily changing the subject. "How about we end early, hmm?"

"No...I don't want to." She remained quiet for a moment. "You're afraid of me, aren't you?"

"I am not," I immediately blurted out.

"You are now..." Smirking with satisfaction, she sat up completely in order to study me. "I can tell. But we can't have any progress, Kazuki, if you continue to deny how you're truly feeling," she mocked.

"I already told you, I will not let you attempt to analyze me."

"Are you frightened that I might uncover something you don't want me to?"

"There's nothing to uncover..."

"Yes there is - _fear_. That's why you chose to stay, isn't it? You realized you could never betray your god...you knew what I would do to you..." Her smile became more twisted as her mind lingered on her last statement. Then, she said in a strangely happy whisper, "You're terrified of me. That's why you stood."

"No, that's not it," I told her, "Perhaps, I'm terrified for the rest of our family, but you, Akito, will never have that sort of hold over me."

"So you say," she remarked unconvinced. "But you're scared now, scared of me."

"I'm not...well..." I suddenly realized there was no use trying to deny her accusation; if I did, she would only go on thinking I was lying about my reason to stay, too. Hence, I confessed with hesitation, "It's just...you're eyes...they're making me feel uncomfortable, I suppose..."

With this, her hold body began to shake with laughter once again. "My eyes? _My eyes? _Is that all it takes? Just one glare from you god and you're frightened into submission! You are a loyal servant to me after all..."

"I am not your servant nor am I submitting to you," I replied through gritted teeth. Then, I questioned pointedly, "And what is it that you think your getting out of everyone's supposed fear of you, anyway? Why would such a thing make anyone happy?"

"Don't you understand, Kazuki? _I'm a god_. Gods are to be feared."

"You are not a – " I began to say, but the simple idea of me saying such a thing threw Akito into a rage.

"Yes, I am a god! I am _your_ god! I am yours!" she exclaimed, rising to her feet to do so. She then fell back onto the couch and began, "I knew you wouldn't leave. You would never leave me."

"It didn't have anything to do with you," I insisted. "I want to help Ritsu and Yuki and - "

"The _cat_, right?" Akito snickered, although she uttered "cat" with a remarkable disdain.

"His name is Kyou," I corrected her, "And what is so funny now?"

"You're so pathetic, Kazuki," she laughed, "If only you knew how sad you truly were..."

I knew at this point I should have let her last comment go, for we had, after all, almost run out of time. Moreover, it would be improper of me to indulge her by giving her the opportunity to pick me apart; after all, any psychiatrist knows better than to allow his patient to get under his skin. Yet, I honestly couldn't help myself. I suppose she was getting to me, as much as I hate to admit it. And as much as I tried to control myself, I needed to know why she was laughing at me, why she thought I was, as she put it, "so pathetic." So I foolishly asked, "What do you exactly mean by that?"

"Why don't you figure it out? Isn't that your job?" She scoffed cruelly. Eyes narrowing sharply, she then stated, "You don't care any more about this family than I do."

"Now, that's simply absurd," I bluntly answered without much thought.

However, Akito just smirked. "I see you for what you truly are, Kazuki – _I know_."

"You don't know anything about me."

She chuckled, "I know that you think you can control us, control _me_. That's all you've ever really wanted, isn't it? You're afraid of what we really are, so you try to change us as if you ever could. It's so pitiful."

"It's more complicated – "

"You wish it was. _But I know_...this whole time it hasn't been about anyone but _you_. What a selfish, insubordinate fool you are. But don't worry - I will continue to make sure you suffer because of it. As your god, it is my job to punish you appropriately..."

"I think I've had enough," I said in as forcible a tone I could muster.

"Don't like what your hearing?"

"No, frankly, I don't," I began, growing indignant. "I won't sit here and listen to you insult my character. All this time I've worked extremely hard to help everyone in this family, including you. If you can't see that, then I feel very sorry for you."

"Feeling righteous, aren't we?" Akito sneered, standing up and approaching my desk. "You dare to pity me – your god?"

"Will you stop referring to yourself as that? You'll never overcome your superiority complex if you insist on thinking of yourself as a god."

"_I am your god_," she uttered in an eerily calm voice, her eyes staring directly into mine. We were both quiet. For a fleeting moment, with her glaring at me with such violent intensity, I felt very small and very powerless; it was as if she did, in fact, have some sort of unexplainable control over me. Despite this, I tried my best to shake the impractical, unhealthy feeling off, and collect my admittedly scattered thoughts. However, Akito, standing with a relaxed slouch just feet away from me, spoke before I could; "This has been fun, Kazuki. Now I understand why you enjoy what you do so much..." There was a sense of overwhelming dominance coming from her – it was in her voice, in her eyes, in everything about her demeanor.

"I think you've gotten the wrong impression," I tried to explain.

"No, I think I finally got the right one." She smirked knowingly. "You've been trying to overthrow me – this whole time – you've been obsessed with it. I've always been suspicious, but I see it all clearly now."

"Akito, please, it's not good for you to give into such paranoia. I'm not trying to harm you, you must believe that," I desperately said, but did little to convince her.

"You know, you remind me of a story I once heard...about an angel, an arrogant, irreverent one, who thought too highly of himself. He even thought he could conquer his god, that's how delusional and insolent he was. Do you happen to know, Kazuki, what happened to him?" Her eyes were disturbingly wide as she looked over to me for an answer.

My mouth was dry and I began with some difficulty, "I – I think you're taking things out of context."

"Don't look so frightened, Kazuki," she snickered once again, "You haven't fallen from grace yet. If you be a good, obedient angel, I can still save you..." She laughed some more as she ambulated toward the door to my office.

"Akito, I – " I weakly started but it was of little use, for Akito was no longer paying attention. Her thoughts were clearly elsewhere. As I watched her go, I felt a sinking sensation within me and immediately began regretting my decision to refuse Professor Jammerson. It was odd, but I suppose Akito had succeeded in scaring me in some bizarre way. Obviously, a psychiatrist shouldn't be afraid of his patients; he wouldn't be able to effectively assist them if he was. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't ignore her potentially dangerous threats, as she seemed quite bent on forcing me into submission. What was even more frustrating was it seemed that during our last few sessions, Akito was getting the upper hand – she was seeing through my professional façade and digging deep within me. She was, strangely, analyzing me, something that I surprisingly found, as hypocritical as it might be, very unsettling and uncomfortable.

But, was that all our sessions boiled down to? Did I actually care about helping Akito anymore or was I merely interested in asserting my own superiority over her? I had never really thought about it until she had brought it up, yet, once she had, it made me begin to painstakingly reevaluate my behavior during our most recent meetings. Perhaps I was just trying to knock her off her pedestal, but surely that was for her own good, wasn't it? She couldn't continue to go on living a healthy mental existence with such a superiority complex, nor was it helping those around her.

Despite my rationalizing, though, I knew that there was more to it than that. It had almost become a game – a sick, twisted game. As much as she was trying to get to me, I was trying to get to her. Of course, it wasn't the main reason why I didn't take Professor Jammerson's offer; my biggest concern was with the welfare of the rest of my cousins, particularly with Kyou, who undoubtedly face many trials in the upcoming months. However, maybe there was a small part of me that stayed because I didn't want to forfeit to Akito. Sure, she wouldn't have been pleased with me disregarding her orders forbidding me to leave, nor would she have liked losing her supposed control over me. Yet, once I was gone, I knew she would remain the unchallenged "god" of our family. Yes, it was there, in the back of my mind, as much as I wished it wasn't – this small obsession to defeat her and have her at last relinquish to me.

She had been right, in a perverted sense; I was becoming the Lucifer to her god.


	24. Kyou Sohma Session 127

Wow, it's been awhile since I wrote this - a _long _while! I apologize to everyone for keeping you all hanging, but I suppose life has been pretty hectic for me these last few months that I just didn't have the time to sit down and work on this. However, I am proud to announce that this story is finally _finished_! There are just four chapters left, including this one, which should all be posted by the week's end. I am both excited but sad for having completed it. Admittedly, I'll miss writing this story, especially Kazuki and all the Sohma's in all their craziness!

Without further delay, I give you another session with Kyou - enjoy and **_thanks_**!!!

_

* * *

_

_Patient – Sohma Kyou; Session #127_

"So it is true?" Kyou asked anxiously as soon as he sat down on the couch in my office for our meeting. "You're not leaving after all?"

A little over a week had passed since I had made my decision to reject Professor Jammerson's offer and remain in Japan with my family. It was now the very beginning of December, and outside there was a light snow flurry, although nothing substantial was sticking to the ground. Akito had not been by since our last session, which had left our relationship in quite an unsettling state. It seemed to me that I was becoming a bit of an insomniac due to it, as I would stay awake for hours just lying in my bed unable to sleep. I was plagued with relentless, gnawing thoughts; it was as if no matter how much I tried I could not turn my mind off even for an hour's sleep. At times, I would contemplate whether I was right in deciding to stay at the Sohma residency instead of undertaking the great opportunity offered by my former mentor. I also began to constantly question my motivations – was I simply trapped in a power struggle with my sick, mentally instable cousin? For small fleeting moments, I feared that I too was on the brink of slipping into insanity, but I was fortunately able to shake off such unpleasant notions through simple rationalization.

The fact that Akito had not come by for another session for about a week also caused me great concern. She typically stopped by at least every other day, so for her to stay away so long made me exceedingly uneasy and perhaps a smidge paranoid. I kept thinking that she was purposefully maintaining her distance to keep me in a state of constant apprehension. It was as if she was enjoying watching me squirm as I waited to see what her next move would be. Of course, this sounds absurd; as a psychiatrist, I shouldn't have allowed myself to think that a girl like Akito could play such mind tricks on me. If anything, I would try to reason, it was I playing mind tricks on myself. Yet, despite this, I couldn't help but have this vexing feeling deep within that Akito was in someway plotting against me. Add to this my new obsessive desire to receive approval from my mother, who seemed all together oblivious to my childish yearning, and I suppose one could say that I was maybe in need of my own therapist.

Nevertheless, with Kyou sitting eagerly in front of me, I decided to at last put aside my own confusing problems and focus on his instead. Addressing his question to me, I answered, "That's right, Kyou. As it turns out, I won't be leaving for awhile yet."

"But what about your professor's offer? You decided to turn it down?"

"I decided that it wasn't for me," I replied, a sudden distaste in my mouth that I'm sure showed in my face.

"Wow, you really are stupid," Kyou bluntly stated. "I mean, you actually had a chance to get out of here and you choose to stick around? And you're supposed to be the smart one." He crossed his arms and leaned back, but I could see a smile in his eyes.

"Yes, well, sometimes the easiest answer is not always the best answer," I tried to reason, but even I felt that perhaps I had been idiotic to reject such a fantastic opportunity.

"Sure, sure," Kyou rolled his eyes, but seemed quite satisfied by the situation. Then, for a moment, guilt flickered in his eyes. "Hey, you deciding to stay – it didn't have anything to do with me, did it?"

"Oh, no," I immediately answered, deciding it was best to fib a little so as to save him from any guilt he might feel from a more honest response. "I choose this for my own personal reasons."

"Good," Kyou said, "because I don't need you doing anything stupid for my sake. I can take care of myself, you know."

"Of course," I smiled.

Kyou then glared at me doubtfully. "It wasn't because Akito made you then, was it?"

"Certainly not," I instinctively snapped.

"Jeez, sorry," Kyou mumbled an apology, obviously surprised by my harsh reply.

"No, I – " I blushed, embarrassed by my rude answer. "I apologize for taking such a severe tone. I just wanted to stress that I am not subservient to Akito. As I've been saying all along, it is unhealthy for anyone, including yourself, to participate in such an imbalanced relationship."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Kyou again rolled his eyes, although he perked up a bit. "I've heard this all before."

"Yes, I know," I answered sincerely. "I'm afraid, however, that you have failed to apply this advice to your own life yet."

"Because it's stupid," Kyou retorted. "There's no way I could ever stand up to – it's just - well, isn't that why you really stuck around for?"

"Hmm?"

"You know – to handle all this Akito stuff for – uh, everyone...?" He concluded sheepishly and averted his gaze to my bookcase, acting as if he was intently interested at my collection of texts all of a sudden.

I blinked, a bit confused. "I'm afraid I'm a little uncertain as to your meaning..." I uneasily trailed off.

"Come on!" Kyou grew angrily impatient, jumping to his feet and clenching his fist. "You're the only one who has the nerve to do anything! The rest of us – we're – we're stuck – I don't know. It's like I said before – you're different. You've got all these crazy ideas and – surely you _get it_, don't you?"

"Kyou, I think you have got the wrong impression," I choked out, managing a weak chuckle and feeling oddly hot given the wintry weather.

"Oh, great," Kyou mumbled, slumping on the couch. "So you're a coward like the rest of us after all."

I grimaced at this conclusion. "No, I – "

"So you do have a plan, right? I overheard the others talking – "

"The others?" My frown grew more severe.

"Yeah," Kyou clarified for my sake before going on. "You know, Yuki and Haru and Momiji and Kagura. They say you've been plotting _something _against Akito all along."

"They have...?"

"Shigure, Hatori, and Ayame have talked about it, too. They were a little bit more skeptical at first, though. But with you actually deciding to stay now, they're absolutely certain you've got something up you're sleeve. Admittedly, I kind of thought you were too much of a wimp to try and do something as idiotic as defying Akito or anything like that, but I see now that you're actually kind of brave, even if it is still kind of moronic. Shisho says so, too. We're all just waiting to see what you're next move will be."

I let out a sickening string of laughter at Kyou's last statement. Was my family really talking about me _that much_? Could they honestly believe that I really had some grand plan to usurp my disturbed cousin? Had Akito warped each of their minds so much as to really convince them that all my psychiatric work to help them better themselves was simply a front to mask an underhanded devil trying to overthrow their god? To be truthful, I was simply lost for words; I had absolutely no idea what to say to my young, teenage cousin sitting across from me, who, it seemed to me, was the only one who would be even remotely gleeful at the notion that I was scheming against Akito. Of course, I at once felt the weight of such expectations, especially since, as Kyou put it, the rest of the family was anxiously awaiting to see what my next "move" would be.

Yet, as I looked at Kyou, I instantly recognized that Kyou was not, in fact, a victim of Akito's brainwashing. Instead, Kyou had succumbed to that which had plagued me for most of my time as the Sohma family's psychiatrist – hope. I recalled our previous session; he had it in his mind that somehow I could save him. With me staying, I had only reinforced this idea for him. Knowing very well that I had given very little thought as to what I would do when the time came for Kyou to be imprisoned (admittedly, the whole concept seemed so bizarre to me that I had found it hard to comprehend that such events were really set to unfold just a few short months away), I grew overwhelmingly depressed and surprisingly ashamed of myself for having amounted to nothing but another disappointment in Kyou's short life.

In the meantime, as I sat silently dumbfounded, Kyou grew impatient once more. "So, aren't you going to tell me what you're planning? I won't tell anyone, just so you know. I mean, if you think about it, it wouldn't really make sense for me to."

"I – I don't have a plan," I uttered, staring at him blankly.

"What do you mean, you don't have a plan?" Kyou questioned sharply.

"I don't have one," I repeated, voice distant and strangely without emotion.

"Then what? Are you just going to sit around and let me – " Kyou didn't finish, swallowing his words. "You know what? Never mind. This is all so stupid. I knew you were a wimp." I thought he would storm out at this, but he didn't. Instead, he crossed his arms again and stared out the window.

We were quiet for a long while. After some time, I finally offered, "Listen, Kyou – "

"Just drop it, okay?"

"But – "

"I said drop it," Kyou lashed out harshly, his cold glance shooting my way for a moment before returning to the soft flurries outside the window.

I respected his wishes for only a minute, but I could not control myself for long. "Kyou, I promise I will think of something," I blurted out without a thought.

Kyou raised a skeptical eyebrow, but there was a tinge of hope that returned to his eyes. "You will?"

"Well, I – " I bit my lip nervously, suddenly feeling uncertain about committing to a promise that I wasn't sure I could keep. However, growing resolute, I replied, "Yes, I will. After all, I'm sure that reason and logic will prevail in the end anyway..."

Kyou didn't seem all the convinced by this, but he appeared to soften a bit at my effort, no matter how pathetically weak it might have been. Giving me a half smile, he said, "Thanks, Kazuki. But, uh, you don't really have to worry about me."

"I don't mind, Kyou," I told him truthfully. "I really want to help you."

At this, Kyou grew both curious and suspicious. "Why is it that you want to help me all the time?" he asked.

"Pardon?"

"It's just weird, you know, because nobody else in this family seems to care about me except for Shisho. Even Kagura doesn't _really_ care. They all just think of me as the cat. So I don't understand why you would care. I mean, I guess I appreciate it, but it seems like such a waste of time for someone like you. It doesn't make sense."

Blushing at this, I stammered, "Oh well...doing the right thing and all that. It's what decent people do. And it's important to not follow someone else blindly just because you're told to – a person has got to be an individual, stand up for what he believes in."

"Hmm," Kyou shrugged, unimpressed by my answer. "I guess you do get odd ideas from the West..."

I frowned, knowing that by suppressing my own feelings and giving my patient such a vague response to his reasonable question, I was being deceitful. So, sighing, I began awkwardly, "To be honest, Kyou, there's something else to it." I anxiously tapped my pencil on my desk as I noticed him look back over at me with intent interest. "You see, you kind of remind me...of me."

Kyou rolled his eyes for the third time that session. "That doesn't even make sense," he scoffed. "I'm the _cat_."

"Well, I can't say I understand everything, but I know from my own experiences that it's hard being looked down on all the time just because of something that you had no control over in the first place. And how frustrating it can be that no matter how much you try to prove everyone wrong, all they'll see is the stigma." As I finished, I felt an odd relief having actually said the words out loud.

However, before Kyou could reply, our session was interrupted by Kagura, who poked her head through the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt Kazuki, but – " She stopped mid-sentence as soon as she saw Kyou sitting on my office's couch. "Kyou, you _are_ here!" she exclaimed, running over to him and embracing him tightly, much to his unhappiness. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to be here today? I had to find out from Momiji!"

"Maybe because I didn't want you to bother me," Kyou muttered, trying his best to yank his arm from her strong grip.

Kagura's temper flared at this remark, and she looked as if she was ready to throw my table (the one that replaced the one Akito had broken) at Kyou for being so disagreeable. However, I interjected by clearing my throat. "Kagura?"

The nineteen year old froze at the sound of my voice, suddenly remembering that I, too, was in the room. With embarrassment, she removed her grip from my table and grew bright red, recalling how she had, in the past, assured me on numerous occasions that she was making great strides in controlling her violent tendencies. "Oh, right...sorry, Kazuki."

"It's all right," I assured her, satisfied that she had been able to control her rage, if at least to humor me.

Growing tense, Kagura forced a smile (probably for my sake) and yanked Kyou's arm harshly, dragging him toward the doorway. "Come on Kyou. Let's go take a walk outside!" she ordered eagerly.

"So you can hit me there instead?" Kyou snapped.

"Don't be silly," Kagura laughed. "I don't _hit _you anymore! He says the silliest things, Kazuki, I swear!" I grimaced as Kagura went on, the edge to her voice melting as new romantic thoughts replaced her anger. "I just want to go for a quiet stroll with you, that's all. We can go to dinner, too! Won't that be fun?"

"No," Kyou candidly answered. "In fact, I can't think of anything that would be less fun."

"Now, Kyou, you should try to be a little bit more respectful of Kagura's feelings," I quickly attempted to advise before Kagura had time to muster a hostile reaction.

"_Me_ be more respectful?" Kyou at once grew argumentative. "She's the one who's always bossing me around!"

"Yes, well, you should at least try to be a bit kinder in your responses to her," I instructed. Although not adequately prepared nor eager to do couple's therapy at the moment, I still turned to Kagura and offered, "And, Kagura, I think Kyou does have a point – you can't expect him to follow your every order."

Kagura pouted a bit, but soon denied this, "I don't expect him to follow my _every _order, Kazuki. He just exaggerates." Pulling at Kyou once more, though, she added, "But if we don't hurry up, it'll grow dark and it'll be too late for us to do anything!"

"I said I didn't want to – " Kyou began before sighing. "Oh, never mind. _Fine_. I'll go with you. But only for Kazuki's sake. The last thing he needs is to hear you yelling like a crazy woman."

"I am not a crazy woman!" She shouted loudly, eyes twitching violently. Remembering my presence though, she again repressed her aggression and faked a wide grin for me, saying, "See?"

"Perfectly," I managed, suppressing my own disappointment at how little progress Kagura had made over the last two years; such was the case, I suppose, with all my patients, though.

"Oh, before I forget!" Kagura then said unexpectedly, as she tried her best to remember the message she had been entrusted to deliver. "Momiji also told me to let you know that Yuki told him to tell you that he wouldn't be attending his session this afternoon."

"No?" I made quite a bit of an effort to keep from frowning. I was certain Yuki was trying his best to avoid me, as he must have never had any intention of seeing me again after confessing to not liking me all that much, among less flattering things. In a way, I suppose I, too, was relieved at his abrupt cancellation, because such a session would be exceedingly awkward for me, as well; after all, knowing that your patient does not like participating in your counseling sessions nor finds you in any way a decent, helpful person makes it quite difficult to work. "I guess I'll just have to reschedule with him, then."

"Stupid rat," Kyou mumbled softly, before demanding "Can we go now?" He wriggled his arm at last from Kagura's hold and grabbed his jacket from where it hung by the door.

"Yes! I know just where we'll go..." Kagura grew excited that Kyou was actually being compliant for a change as she skipped out the door, her date for the evening still seeming rather reluctant to follow. Slowly lingering at the door, he began, "Hey, Kazuki – "

"Come on, Kyou!" Kagura called from down the hall.

"Yeah, yeah!" he shouted to her before turning back to me. Not looking me in the eye, he stuffed his hands in his pocket, "I just wanted to say that, even though you're a stupid moron, I think you're a pretty all right guy after all. That's it, really..." The teenage boy left then, never shifting his gaze in my direction. At once, I felt both pleased that Kyou had faith that I would be the one to help him out of his unfortunate predicament and dread that I would ultimately end up as nothing but a disappointment for him. Of course, I had always hoped that I would be the one to save my family from their curse – it was, in a way, what had been driving me on for so long. Yet, to learn plainly that Kyou saw me as his only hope to save him from his cursed fate gave me much trepidation. It all of a sudden felt like such a heavy responsibility to carry.

In the end, while one's personal hope can be quite troubling and misleading in its own right, the hope that somebody else has for you is an all together different and much more deadly monster.


	25. Shigure Sohma Session 38

Thanks to everyone who has been reading! Well, here is, sadly, the last session with Shigure. To add to this sadness, there are two more chapters remaining after this. Ah well...

I'm quite pleased with this chapter. I think it offers some important character revelations and insights into some of this story's themes. With that begin said, I hope you all enjoy the read! _

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_Patient – Sohma Shigure; Session #38_

Kyou's 127th session with me continued to trouble me. Every free moment was spent dwelling on how I was going to aid my young cousin once his graduation commenced. With each patient I saw, I felt more and more pressure to produce some sort of plan, as if everyone was expecting it, for better or for worse. After all, Kyou was depending on me now to save him, and I certainly couldn't let him down. Not to mention my own mother, despite her worry that I had become "blasphemous," still believed that I was destined to be my family's savior, born to break the Sohma's from their curse once and for all.

Yet, it was more than that; it was as if I had to prove myself to the rest of my family. In the end, perhaps, I was desperate to show that I was worth more than they had thought – that I wasn't just some mistake or some spot that tarnished the Sohma name. This distressed me even more; could it be that my practice was never about helping my family but simply motivated by own selfish interests? I tried desperately to shake such ideas from my mind and remind myself that my actions were driven by altruistic goals. I was simply letting Akito's accusations that all I cared about was "controlling" everyone get to me, I theorized. What was worse, though, was that I couldn't think of any sort of logical plan that might end all of this curse nonsense once and for all. The idea that reason would ultimately prevail, ridding my family at last of their prejudices and misery, appeared to be less and less likely. I thought that I could attempt to get the police involved, because surely they wouldn't allow the imprisonment of a teenage boy, but I got the nagging suspicion such interference wouldn't necessarily work out as I thought it would. After all, the Sohma family was quite wealthy and influential. Moreover, they seemed to operate outside of modern Japanese society, playing by different rules entirely.

Such worries continued to vex me into mid December. On December 17th my anxieties were only amplified – it was my twenty-sixth birthday. It is important to note that for as long as I could remember, my birthday had never been acknowledged, let alone celebrated. Not even my mother dared to utter an acknowledgment of it (in fact, she spent the day quite miserable, which was rather disconcerting for myself, especially considering she spoke so excitedly of her prophecy for the other 364 days of the year). To my family, I suppose, the day was one of great shame so it was best not to recognize it ever occurred. After all, it was the anniversary of when I – an illegitimate bastard born of Sohma blood – came into the world, making tangible my mother's humiliating transgression; I was, to be perfectly blunt, nothing more than her mark of Cain to the Sohma clan. As a result, the day went on the surface ignored, although underneath the silence lay an unspoken disdain. I could feel it in each of my relatives' glares and in the tone of their voices when they talked to me. Even twenty six years later, my mother's sin was remembered with disgust, and I was nothing but its unhappy manifestation.

Every year, I coped with this unsettling day by preoccupying myself with other things. When I was a child, I would make sure to overly engage myself in my classes for the day. If there were no classes, I would lock myself in my room and read a book from cover to cover. Fortunately, when I studied abroad, it was easy for me to get caught up in my studies and other activities so that I would thankfully forget it was my birthday entirely. However, having returned back to Japan to serve as my family's therapist, I simply crammed December 17th with counseling sessions, not even bothering to give myself a lunch break. For my twenty-sixth birthday, I saw Ritsu, Haru, Kagura, and Momiji in the morning. For the afternoon I had Hatori, Shigure, and Akito scheduled. Most of these sessions went on as they typically did, with not much coming out of them. However, in the case of Shigure, I suppose there was always something of unusual interest found in my sessions with him.

Shigure strolled into my office at a little after two thirty, just minutes after a mostly stoic but mildly miff Hatori had made his happy exit. "Why, good afternoon, Kazuki!" he greeted me, taking his seat on the couch. "I hear you've been seeing quite a bit of patients today."

"Yes, well, I suppose I've had a busy day," I answered simply, knowing that Shigure was, as always, fishing for information. Determined not to divulge anything to him and to focus the session on helping him with his problems for once, I went on, "Now, how about we begin today discussing your relationship with your editor?"

"Sure," Shigure agreed pleasantly, reclining on the sofa. However, it soon became apparent to me that his easy consensus was only a ruse. "But, before I forget, I've been meaning to tell you Kazuki that I'm quite impressed to see that you've decided to stick around here."

"Oh?" Admittedly, Shigure had hooked me merely on the word "impressed." I had been curious ever since my session with Kyou as to what the others had really thought about my rejection of Professor Jammerson's offer and of the ideas they had concocted in their minds about my allegedly imminent rebellion against their "god."

"I'm sure Aunt Tomiko must be quite thrilled to see you stay," Shigure continued. He mused for a moment and smirked, "But I guess that means you haven't given up, yes? On breaking the curse, I mean."

"I already told you, I don't think there is a 'curse' of the kind that the rest of you have prescribed to."

"Ah, yes," Shigure recalled. "That's right. You still believe that reason and logic will prevail, don't you? That somehow you, with your wealth of knowledge and modern ideas, will finally be able to enlighten us poor, simple-minded folk? Despite the changing into animals bit, of course."

"I suppose so, yes," I answered uncomfortably, sensing the mocking tone in his voice.

Shigure shook his head and laughed sardonically. "You really are so silly, Kazuki." He chuckled some more and I grew stiff.

"Now, listen here – " I sharply cut into his laugher, clutching my pencil tightly around my fingers.

"Oh, I mean no offense," Shigure calmed down, but that unnerving smirk lingered on his face. "But I'm sorry – I've put us off topic again, haven't I? What did you want to discuss again? My editor, was it?"

However, Shigure had pushed the right buttons, and I was satisfactorily riled up. Granted, I knew that I shouldn't have given in to his mind tricks, but perhaps I had too much pride to let the whole conversation conclude in such a fashion. So, I said, "Shigure, I know you, like the others, think that I'm – "

Shigure interrupted me with another laugh. "Oh, I don't think like the others," he clarified lightly, but there was something dark in his eyes at my notion.

"You don't?" I questioned skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"Certainly not," he answered. "Most of them think you're planning _something_." He sent a glance my way, intent on reading my reaction to this statement before going on; "I go along with them, of course. No use playing devil's advocate and stirring things up, after all."

"And you don't think I am?"

He was quiet for a moment before plainly replying, "No. I don't think so. And even if you are – well, I'm sure it won't amount to much. You're just too silly about the whole thing." Once more, his scheming grin appeared.

I felt my skin prickle. There it was again – that word "silly." Gritting my teeth, I inquired as diplomatically as I could, "And what is it that you mean by 'silly,' Shigure?"

"Oh, you know..." He trailed off with a shrug, purposefully giving me an no answer at all. "But I must say, Kyou will be disappointed – I'm sure you've noticed that he's put a lot of faith in your abilities to outdo Akito."

This last remark stung harshly. Growing more fidgety, I told Shigure only somewhat convincingly, "Despite what you might think, I'm not going to allow Akito or anyone else in this family to lock up Kyou simply because he's, as you all put it, 'the cat.'"

"Of course, of course," Shigure humored me; he was amused but not persuaded.

"And what is it that you are doing, anyway?" I demanded, growing more confrontational at his condescension. "You certainly act as if you've got something up your sleeve all the time."

Shigure smiled cunningly. "I'm trying to break the curse, of course."

"You are?" To be truthful, I didn't really believe him. Surely, with such a sinister person lurking behind his amicable façade he couldn't be working toward such a noble end.

"Yes, I am."

"And what makes you think you can break it and I can't?" I hotly shot back.

"Honestly, lots of reasons," Shigure responded candidly. "As I said before, you're much too silly about the whole thing. Not to say you're not smart, but you think everything can be solved with logic and reason. The world, I'm afraid, is a lot more complicated than that."

"I'm aware of that," I snapped, feeling increasingly defensive and all the while growing more and more unprofessional. Yet, I found I didn't care about this latter point; I was sick of pretending for the sake of keeping face.

"I'm not sure you are," Shigure insisted, remaining oddly pleasant, as if we were talking about a new movie or the week's weather forecast. "But there's more than that, anyway, Kazuki. I mean, you'll never be able to understand the curse – you're not one of the jyunnishi, after all. You don't even _believe _there's a curse to begin with, even _with _us turning into animals. And, as you psychiatrists always say, you can't begin to fix a problem unless you recognize the problem to begin with."

"But there isn't a curse!" I blurted out angrily, rising to my feet and slamming the palms of my hands on my desk. "It's all in your heads that you need to be so miserable all the time. If you would just _try _and listen to reason – "

"Back to that again are we?" Shigure smirked, not at all alarmed by my outburst. "Don't you see, Kazuki? You're much too self-righteous. You think you know what's best for us but who's to say you know any more than Akito does? But you just want everyone to think as you do – for us all to smile and nod in agreement. And I can't say that I don't think it's a bit much for a man to envision himself as a savior or for him to believe that he alone can determine what is right and what is wrong. So, in the end, I can't help but thinking 'what's the point of usurping one god for another?'"

At this I felt crushed. Slowly, I fell back in my chair, his words weighing heavily on me. Perhaps sensing my defeat, Shigure rose and said, "I should be going now, I think." Standing up, he headed toward the door, seemingly satisfied for having finally asserted his upper-hand openly; he had accomplished what he had set out to do. Yet, as he was just about ready to leave my office, he uncharacteristically hesitated and turned back to me. "Kazuki, I'm sorry if my honesty was too harsh for your liking. You see, though, I had no choice. I know you mean well, but you'll never find what you're really looking for this way." Then, smiling the only genuine smile I can ever remember him giving me, he said, "Happy Birthday."

It was the first time anyone had ever spoken those two words to me – not even my mother had. Admittedly, I was quite startled by this simple utterance and had not a clue of how to react. I looked at my older cousin for what seemed like a lengthy time, lost for words as my mind was completely blank. He did not stand in the doorway for long and it was not until he disappeared into the hallway that I at last gave my reply: "Thank you, Shigure."


	26. Akito Session 225, Interlude 5 Part 1

Thanks for all those who read and to those who reviewed; you feedback is greatly appreciated! There are only two chapters left (sadness!), and after those, I'll try my best to address some of the interesting points some of the reviewers have intelligently brought up. However, just a little fyi, I started this having seen the whole anime and being rather familiar with the manga up to around chapter 105ish. At this point, though, I am familiar with the whole, completed manga and know how the whole story ends (I will address this ending more thoroughly once my own story is finished).

Anyway, you knew it was coming - the very last session with Akito! Admittedly, she has easily become one of my favorite if not my absolute favorite character in Fruits Basket. To think, I began not liking her - I guess having the chance to really explore her character has made me grow attached to her for all her complexities. Please note, Kazuki decides to skip several sessions between his last session with Akito and this one because he finds them to be repetitive of other sessions he's had with her. In addition, I purposefully wrote this session short and am glad about how it turned out. Following this is the first part of the 5th Interlude, which will segue into the final chapter. With that said, enjoy and thanks again!!!

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_Patient – Sohma Akito; Session #225_

My session with Shigure had left me exceptionally confused. In some ways, subconsciously at least, I felt as if he was right, just as Akito had been; all my actions the last two years had merely been about my own desire to assert my own self-worth and even superiority. Yet, at the same time, I was certain that Shigure was simply trying to manipulate me, to interfere in my work. After all, I _was _right about my family's unfortunate predicament and all the varying psychiatric problems that appeared to be associated with it; eight years of schooling at Oxford and Harvard had taught me that. Not to mention, I had never trusted Shigure, so why should I begin to now? There had always seemed to me that there was something dark looming beneath Shigure's surface – surely I would not deny my psychiatric instincts now based on a few of my own personal insecurities? Obviously, I concluded, he was not mentally stable (proof enough of this was that he was in love with our psychotically imbalanced cousin and slept with our _aunt_, Akito's loathsome mother, as a method of jealous revenge). In fact, I reasoned that it could very well be possible that Shigure and Akito were working together all along, coldly plotting ways to sabotage my efforts to enlighten the rest of our relatives, freeing each of them once and for all from the Sohma family "curse." Admittedly, reflecting back, I guess this rationality does reek a bit of paranoia, but certainly such a tinge was necessary given my circumstances. Still, Shigure's last comment stuck with me. From deep within me I believed in its sincerity and would not be convinced otherwise. It was one of the kindest things anyone had ever said to me. However, this posed a particular problem, for I couldn't logically deduce how my newly discovered rival could have possibly been responsible for the words.

Akito entered my office at three thirty. It looked as if she floated to the couch, where she sprawled out, her clothes loosely falling off her. Ever since Akito's 219th session, our meetings had been relatively normal (well, normal for Akito, anyhow). It had come to a surprise to me, at first, for she had stayed away for almost a week and a half. Then, one Thursday morning she came waltzing back in and plopped down as if nothing of consequence had ever transpired between us; it looked as if to her I was again completely harmless, never at any time a threat to her supposed divinity. On the one hand, I was grateful for this, for it meant we could begin to focus again on some of Akito's many psychiatric issues. On the other hand, though, I found her dismissal of my ability to challenge her frustrating, for it meant she still saw herself as an unchallengeable god. However, I'm sure AKito didn't give much heed as to how I felt.

"I hate the snow," she began, not even bothering to give me so much as a hello while she sneered out the window at the snow-covered estate, the snow still falling.

As she let out a few raspy coughs, I instinctively drew up her file from the clutter on my desk and, with pencil in hand, asked. "Why is that, Akito?"

"Because..." she slowly replied, trailing her finger up and down the collar of her kimono. "It's melts."

"And that bothers you?" Akito simply shrugged, turning her head from me. She curled up on the couch, as if ready to take a nap. "Well, I don't mind the snow," I went on. "It makes everything look clean and new again, if even for a short while."

"_Exactly_."

"That's what bothers you, then?"

"Yes," Akito answered. "It's a lie. It can never be real."

"I don't know if I would put it just that way – "

"Of course _you _wouldn't," she sneered, raising her head a bit to give an abrupt cackle. "But you are a fool, Kazuki. Don't you see? Nothing can be made pure again once it has been sullied. And I – _I _can see through the snow. It does not fool me. I will be happy to see when your snow at last melts and reveals to all what pathetic thing lies beneath. Just like plucking beads off a bracelet..."

Concluding wearily, she laid her head back down and nodded off to sleep.

* * *

New Years was quite a big to do at the Sohma family residence. It was, perhaps, the only thing we celebrated during the year. Since returning home from the west, I had been to just one of these banquets, having missed the one two years prior by returning home a few days after the first of January. From what I gathered though, they were all pretty much the same: the family came together at the main house, one of our cursed family members performed a dance, depending on the upcoming zodiac year, and then the twelve jyunnishi and the Sohma god would retire to their own private banquet, which we were lead to believe was much more elaborate and spectacular than ours. To my mother's dismay, I wore a suit to the event that year, which she found to be disrespectful of the traditional ways. So, as I was quite eager to please her the second time around, given the strain I saw in our relationship (I'm not too sure if she recognized it as I did), I decided to throw on a kimono for the occasion. To be frank, I had a bit of trouble putting on the garment, as it had been so long since I had worn one. What's more, I found it terribly uncomfortable and hard to move in; how I longed for the ease and practicality of my pants. Yet, I soon put this aside upon seeing my mother's beaming face looking at me dressed in such "appropriate" attire for the important day. It was satisfying to see that I was, in this case at least, not disappointing her.

We arrived somewhat later, it seemed, than most of the family, although other relatives trickled in later, most notably being Shigure, Yuki, and Kyou, all of whom had to travel a reasonable distance to return to the Sohma estate. I mingled a bit with my cousins, aunts, and uncles, finding I was in no mood to really speak to anyone. Interestingly, I found that none of them had much interest to talk to me either, initiating conversation based solely on their curiosity regarding my meetings with the members of the jyuunishi. What's more, I was constantly on edge about slipping up on my pronouns whenever I referred to Akito, for while the adults knew that Akito was a woman, my younger cousins had absolutely no idea of her true gender. However, every time I said "he" instead of "she," I felt a bitter taste in my mouth; I could not understand why I was lying for her, as the whole thing seemed incredibly ridiculous to me.

I had the opportunity to speak to my cousin Rin, who refused to submit to Akito's orders that she must come and see me for therapy. It was refreshing to at last talk to a member of the jyuunishi who saw Akito for what she truly was (or, in the case, who _he _truly was), but I also found it unsettling that Rin was only willing to carry on a rather shallow conversation with me. It appeared that she was on her guard, not trusting me entirely and quite worried that I would begin to analyze her, given my psychiatric background and the traumatic experiences she had already endured. Thus, our discussion was brief and she was quick to leave me to join Haru instead.

To my unhappiness, it did not take me long to spot Kureno at the gathering, standing quietly in a corner but relatively close to Akito. I shuddered at seeing him. Admittedly, I had taken great strides to avoid him ever since I learned about his and Akito's transgression. Now, with him in such close proximity, I made sure to make an especial effort not to bump into him. However, in my desperate endeavor to steer clear of Kureno, I had unfortunately forgotten to prevent a far worse confrontation with my Aunt Ren.

As soon as I bumped into her, I could feel all the life drain from in me. I just stood there in front of her like a dumbfounded child. She greeted me kindly enough, although this did very little to ease my dread at seeing her so unexpectedly, nor was I fooled to think her any less than a selfish and manipulative woman. "Good evening, Kazuki. Happy New Year." I had no words for her, so I just nodded stupidly. I could feel my face contort as all I could think of was her – _my aunt _– with my cousin Shigure; this image was all together horrific, and I was quite certain that I would not be having anything else to eat for the rest of the evening.

She eyed me with some disdain – the same disdain most of my family harbored for my illegitimacy – but continued; "So you've been making some progress with Akito? She really is such a troubled child."

"I, uh...I can't talk about that, Aunt Ren," I managed to stammer, rapidly darting my eyes around in search of an ally, but realizing very quickly that I did not have many amongst my relatives.

"No?"

"Patient confidentiality," I quickly chocked out. For a moment, from the way she glimpsed at me, I was certain that she was aware of all I knew about her. My cheeks grew hot at the thought.

"Well," she then gave me a twisted smile, "I hope that you've been helping her..." It was this that I realized something that I had not before; in working _against_ Akito, for lack of a better word, I was, in turn, working _with_ my terrible Aunt Ren. After all, I didn't need a doctorate to realize that my aunt absolutely despised her daughter and would like nothing more to knock her off her pedestal. I felt my insides cringe just thinking that I was in some way aiding her, my least favorite aunt of all and perhaps the cruelest person I ever had the unhappiness of knowing.

Growing desperate, I was immediately thankful to finally spot my mother with Ayame, having already taken their seats. My mouth dry, I eagerly said, "I'm sorry Aunt Ren, but if you could excuse me, my mother is waiting for me." Her brows twitched contemptuously at the mere mention of my mother, for she never did like her, but I cared little for this and left her without even waiting for her to give me a response.

I walked as fast as I could in my kimono, which wasn't very fast at all, but despite this, it did not take me long to reach Ayame and my mother, Momiji also sitting with them. Exhausted from the mere minute conversation I had with Aunt Ren, I knelt down at the table and slumped lazily. "Why, dear Kazuki," Ayame greeted me enthusiastically, "don't you look absolutely adorable!"

"Yeah, yeah..." I muttered.

"Now, now," Ayame waved a finger, "No need to be so sulky. So you had a dismal year? It happens to the best of us. But a fresh one is just around the corner!"

"Ayame's right," Momiji agreed. "I'm sure things _might _be better for you." The teenage boy winced as he concluded, looking very doubtful.

"I am certain they will!" my mother's sing-song voice chimed in. "I saw it in my dreams last night. A hippopotamus named Ataru told me so himself. Great things are coming your way, Kazuki, my shining one! The curse is waiting for you, after all."

Ayame laughed and offered an elaborate hand gesture. "See, Kazuki – it's _destiny!_"

I, however, had a very sour temperament and did not care to hear any more about how I could save our stupid family. It did not take me long to conclude that I had accomplished absolutely nothing in terms of the betterment of my family over the last year. If anything, I had probably succeeded in making things worse. The idea that I had simply wasted a year away at once made me depressed, and the thought that in all likelihood my family was ultimately doomed did little to improve my disposition. And yet, I knew what the upcoming year had in store for me; the same old thing. However, I just couldn't give up trying, for the hope was still there, and I simply wouldn't turn my back on it. With this, I bitterly realized that Akito _had_ effectively been crushing me little by little all along.

Noticing I still remained ill humored, Ayame frowned a bit before an idea struck him, and he lit up, eyes glittering with excitement. "I know just the thing you need, Kazuki!" He smiled mischievously. "Sake, of course, and lot's of it! It'll certainly cheer you right up!" Pouring me some with a giggle (I'm pretty confident that at this point Ayame himself had already consumed quite a bit of sake himself), he shoved it eagerly toward me.

Now, if I was of sound mind, as I generally am, I would have rejected such a suggestion, for I was not one for drink and knew, rationally speaking, that alcohol consumption was not the answer to one's problems. However, at that moment, I was a depressed, broken man that wanted nothing more than to feel genuinely happy again without a single care or responsibility in the world. So, with only a second's hesitation, I took the glass from Ayame and drank the whole thing down in but two gulps. Ayame gave a small cheer and happily poured me another glass which I gladly took.

In the meanwhile, my mother too had her own helping of sake while continuing to speak in incoherent riddles about her dreams. At the same time, Momiji furrowed his eyebrows and commented, "Don't you think you might be having too much...?" Although his remark could have been directed at any of us, his worried gaze remained on me as I finished my second glass.

"Don't be silly, Momiji –" Ayame began, but interrupted himself, exclaiming, "Ah, it's my dear little brother Yuki!" He sprung to his feet as soon as he spotted his younger brother. Then, he stumbled a bit as he left us to greet Yuki on the opposite side of the room, Yuki appearing less than pleased to have a rather buzzed Ayame suddenly clinging to him.

As for myself, I took a minute to look around the room at all of my family gathered to celebrate the beginning of a new year, one that they hoped would bring them even happier times. Yet, when my eyes fell on Kyou, Kagura sitting on his one side and Kazuma on his other, I abruptly felt a violent disgust for them all. I could not believe they could all sit their rejoicing about a year that would find one of their own kin imprisoned for the rest of his life. It made me sick inside. What pleasure could they possibly expect to find if they were determined to live their lives filled with such hate and misery? Why were we putting on such a festive façade to cover our ugliness? My gaze then moved to a semi-bored Akito at the front of the room, who appeared, as always, to be at the center of everything. Impulsively, I grabbed the sake bottle and carelessly poured myself my third glass, the contents overflowing at the top and dripping on my right hand and lap. I drank this glass anxiously and poured myself another.

It was from that very instant that I, too, began to hate snow.


	27. Interlude 5 Part 2, Epilogue

Oh gosh, I can't believe it's over - the last chapter! To be honest, I wasn't that sad when I actually finished it, but now the act of posting it is making me rather depressed! I suppose because I've loved exploring all these characters, it's a bit hard letting go. However, all (hopefully) good things have to come to an end, and so I give to you the conclusion.

This final chapter contains the second part to Interlude 5, the highlight of which is (of course) a conversation between Akito and Kazuki. Following this is the epilogue. I won't say more until after you all get to read it, except for the fact that I'm really happy with how it ends. In addition, following this chapter I will be posting an additional "chapter" with some of my personal insights and thoughts on this story, which I hope will address some of the great comments that people have left...

And that leads me to the most important part: THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!! I apologize for going cap crazy for a moment there, but I just really wanted to express how grateful I've been to all those who have taken the time to read my story and an especial thanks for those who also reviewed. All your comments have been greatly appreciated and have made writing this fanfic even more enjoyable. I'm glad that I've been able to give you all a pleasant reading experience, too. I hope, therefore, that this ending does not disappoint and I am eager to hear and discuss your thoughts (both positive and negative, as long as its constructive) on the story as a whole!

It is then, with a somewhat heavy heart, that I give you the final chapter of _Family Therapy _(a title which has admittedly grown on me). Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

* * *

Within only a couple hours, I was completely inebriated. Truthfully, I had never been drunk before, so I found it to be the oddest sensation at first, a strange mix of exhilaration and nausea. In fact, it took me a while to realize that I _was _drunk. In the beginning, I recall saying, without restraint, whatever happened to randomly pop into my mind and going on ridiculous tangents about nonsense, much to the amusement of some of my younger cousins, who had never seen me in such a pathetic, unraveled state. I later learned from Haru that Hatori, too, got a small kick out of seeing me make, to put it plainly, an ass of myself.

It was not until the sake really hit me that I realized how drunk I actually was. Stumbling out into the corridor with a terrible migraine and much queasiness, I hoped to make it to the bathroom before I threw up. However, given that in my stupor I found it even more difficult to walk in my kimono, I never made it and instead, vomited in the hallway. After several minutes of this and unable to stand, I slumped against the wall, sweaty and very sick.

I think I might have dozed off a bit, for I remember being woken by the ringing of a gong down the hall to my left, the sound of which was so painful to my sensitive ears and throbbing head that it induced another fit of vomiting. I knew the gong signaled that it was now time for the cursed members of the zodiac to attend their special banquet in the adjourning room to the main dining area. However, it was then that I heard other voices, those of Akito and Hatori, conversing quietly in the room just a few feet away.

To be honest, I could not make out at all what they were saying, but something in me must have snapped, for I had this uncontrollable desire to see them and to speak to them before they made their way to the jyuunishi's exclusive feast. I struggled to my feet and staggered to the room, sliding open the door and stumbling in. As soon as I did, both glanced over, Hatori looking at me with almost incomprehension and Akito's face growing distorted at my disturbance.

"What are you doing here?" Akito questioned crossly.

"I don't know..." I trailed off, gaining a bit of balance as I walked further in.

"I'll take care of him," Hatori, regaining himself, told Akito as he stood up from where he knelt across from his "god" and approached me. "He's just had too much to drink."

"No, I'm fine, Hatori," I assured my cousin with an unusual laugh that almost sounded like a giggle. "Just fine, fine, fine, fine..." I must have said "fine" at least a half dozen times, and each time I said it, Akito appeared to grow more and more irritable.

"Get him out of here!" she screeched suddenly; maybe she sensed something awful was about to happen.

"Yes," Hatori immediately complied, taking me by the arm with concern.

It was then, looking at Hatori, that I asked perhaps the most stupid question I could possibly have thought of: "Hatori, please tell me, because I _must _know, is this the room where Akito cut out your eye?"

I don't think I ever saw Hatori as white as I saw him after I posed to him my inquiry. "What?" He released me from his grip and simply stared at me in shock.

"She threw a vase at you, didn't she? And just like that, your eye was gone for good! Blood must have been everywhere, yes?" I chuckled at this – for some reason, it struck me as funny. "You must really, _really_ hate her."

"No, I – " Hatori seemed as if he was becoming undone, quite the rarity.

"Enough!" Akito interjected maliciously and bitterly declared, "It was _her_ fault!"

I stared at Akito vacantly. My body was numb. Plainly I said, as if stumbling unwittingly upon a new revelation, "No, it wasn't Kana's fault. It was your fault, Akito. You're the one who did it all...she was just a victim, too, just like Hatori was..." Akito's mouth twitched slightly as she clenched her fist with fury. As for myself, I felt my hands begin to tremble, and then my whole body began to shake, sparked by a burst of anger that had been hidden deep within me. Although knowing I had already said too much, I could not bring myself to stop; the words needed to come out. Losing control (thanks, I'm sure, to all the alcohol I had consumed), I shouted, "You ruined his life! You ruin everyone's life!"

"Kazuki," Hatori, worriedly began, stepping forward a bit with the hope of calming me, "Please…"

Venomously, I abruptly turned my gaze toward him, and I glared at him with icy eyes. "No!" I exclaimed passionately. "And you, Hatori – you know more than I do about what she has done and _you do nothing_. All this time, you have watched as others have suffered at her hands; oh, you know it's wrong, but you stay silent nonetheless. You are just as bad as she, if not worse – you are a coward! A pathetic coward! Oh, but the blood is on your hands, too!"

"I said enough!" screamed an enraged Akito suddenly. "How dare you defy me, Kazuki? I am your god! _How dare you?_"

"Because nobody else will!" I shouted back. I then became quiet. My body still shaking, I whispered, "And I – I can't be quiet anymore. It's not in me…"

Akito stared at me with bulging, wide eyes, her veins visible against the whiteness of her forehead. For a fleeting second, she looked as if a beast ready to tear apart the creature which threatened her. Yet, as she studied me standing before her practically convulsing, a cruel smirk formed upon her face, and she slowly walked toward me. "But Kazuki, you're afraid of me too, aren't you?"

I clenched my teeth together and became resolute at once, staring Akito straight in the eyes, "No – I am not afraid of you! Not of you! Not anymore."

Akito scowled for a moment, but then she grinned once more, regaining her confidence. "Yes, you are Kazuki. Why else would you be shaking so? It is because you fear your god after all. Do not be ashamed."

I lowered my eyes to the ground. Despite my efforts, I could not keep from trembling uncontrollably. And with her staring at me with such cruel insanity, I was certain that I was terrified. So, I admitted, "Maybe I am frightened of you, Akito. But I don't care, anymore. I will not be a coward – not like Hatori and the others! There will be no blood on my hands!"

"Fool!" Akito yelled, striking me hard, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the ground. I was surprised of how strong she was, given her frailty all the time, but I suppose neither my drunkenness nor my kimono helped matters. "You must listen to me! I am the head of this family – the core of our curse! I know what is best! And you are but a bastard, a stain upon the Sohma name, who thinks so ignorantly that he can be better than his god!"

"I don't care what you say. I don't care. And I don't feel sorry for you, either. I am sick of feeling sorry for you. We are all born into this world knowing we will die; you aren't special!"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Akito now ranted furiously, and she gave me a few hard kicks in my midsection that caused me to throw up once more.

"Kazuki!" Hatori called out in great concern.

"Stay where you are!" Akito demanded, panting and sweating.

Hatori listened, but a glint of worry flickered in his eyes. He implored softly, "Please, Kazuki, please apologize."

"Never," I declared rather dramatically, struggling to my feet, and slurring a bit, "I will never apologize! If anything, she should apologize to me! She should apologize to us all!"

"You damn, insolent fool!" Akito yelled, she too beginning to tremble in rage. "You will suffer for this, suffer because you are trying to steal them all away from me! And why? Why would you do such a terrible thing, when I am the one who bears most of the weight of this family's curse?"

"No, Akito, no; this family bears no such curse. We could be happy, but you won't let us_. You are this family's curse._"

At this, Akito shrieked violently, "Lucifer!" With nothing else around her, she took off her sandals and threw them at me, one of them hitting the wall and the other knocking over a vase, causing it to crash into pieces on the floor.

Emotionally exhausted, still very drunk, and quite out of breath, I crumbled to the floor and felt myself begin to cry. Truthfully, I could not remember the last time I had done so – I must have been four or five – but that did not stop the tears from coming. Akito cackled at seeing me in such a vulnerable condition and said with satisfaction, "You are so very weak, Kazuki. What a pitiful fallen angel you've turned out to be." Amused all of a sudden, for she now sensed she had the upper-hand, Akito drew even closer to me as a smirk appeared on her face. "But I can be a forgiving god, Kazuki. I can take you back. Beg me for my mercy, Kazuki – beg for it..."

She hunched over me, drawing her right hand close to the left side of my face. However, at the moment her boney, white fingers graced by cheek, something all together bizarre came over me, and I broke out into a hysterical fit of laughter. At once, Akito pulled her hand back, truly taken off guard, while Hatori stood by equally as puzzled. Yet, I could not stop laughing. I began to clutch my stomach, for it had begun to ache I was laughing so hard. I tried to say something – _anything_ – but I simply could not. So, I just went on with my hysterics.

But then, to my surprise, Akito began to laugh, too, the same kind of laughter I was. Soon, it became too much for her feeble body and she collapsed to the floor, leaning herself against me for support. Her fit of laughter, however, did not cease for even a second. I was sure Hatori, quite confused and alarmed, thought we had both completely cracked, and so he slipped out of the room as we remained hysterical on the floor.

When at last we calmed down somewhat, we propped our backs against the wall and sprawled our legs out on the floor in front of us, still rather giggly. "You know," I began almost breathlessly, "In the Vietnamese zodiac, the cat replaces the rabbit as the fourth animal, leaving the rabbit as the odd man out. Maybe you should throw Momiji in a cell instead!"

Akito mused over this for a while and began menacingly laughing again. Then, all of sudden, she grew very serious, her glassy eyes gazing up at the ceiling. Gravely, she said. "All I ever wanted was to be loved forever…."

There was a time when I would have leaped at such a breakthrough, but I was too drunk then to think much of her statement. So, I scoffed, "Love, of course. It's always about love."

Seeing me give into my laughter, she too broke out of her melancholy trance and started laughing again. Eventually, she relaxed somewhat, turned to me with a sly smile, and said, "'Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.'"

I blinked and let out a chuckle. "What?"

"It was in that book you gave me to read, but in the good part before Jesus came and ruined it all," she explained.

"You mean, the Old Testament?"

"Yes," she grinned widely, "That's it. He was a much a better God than Jesus was. Even Lum can not match Him. I was especially impressed by the bit about Sodom and Gomorrah and all those plagues in Egypt."

"But...well..." I trailed off, not knowing how to respond; I was utterly defeated.

Eyes smirking, she continued, "I suppose you _have_ been a faithful subject, Kazuki, for you have showed me a God worthy of mimicking..."

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_Epilogue_

It's now the beginning of February; in a short time, if everything remains unaltered, Kyou will be locked away in a small cell for the rest of his life. And despite my continuing efforts to encourage logic and reason, it appears as if my family will never learn to rid themselves of all their misery and hatred and live positive, uplifting existences. As for myself, I find that I'm becoming more and more consumed by depression. Yet, I'm trapped by my hope, which admittedly has begun to diminish significantly but still refuses to be snuffed out completely. My mother continues to insist that I was born to save my family, but I no longer pay her divination any heed at all.

In the end, nothing's changed; it's still the exact same sessions with the exact same results over and over again accumulating into absolutely nothing. However, _I_ have changed. No longer do I carry with me such idealistic optimism but, instead, have become very jaded and bitter. Furthermore, with every passing day, it seems as if my despair increases and I find myself dwelling on how unfair it is that Kyou will soon be banished from our family forever, as well as on how woefully inadequate and powerless I turned out to be, despite all my learning. Perhaps I am just paying the punishment for having defied my "god," Akito imprisoning me in my own little cell, one that she knows I'll never be able to break free from no matter how much I secretly yearn to. Or maybe I, too, am simply just another victim of the Sohma family curse – the most cursed one of all.

_End_

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That's all, folks! Thanks so much again! Also, stay tuned for some thoughts on this story posted in the next chapter.


	28. Some Thoughts on Family Therapy

Well, it's over! I know this is repetitive, but thanks so much for all who have read and reviewed, especially:

**Zelda42, Optical Disillusion, Lycoris AI, Ashley, Malachite Iris, Astria, Ferngully, Numbah Wierdo, Merilee, Lady Ven'n, DigiChar, Porpoise-chan, LittleTora, RedCrow1120, Hmm, Miyuki, doo7749, GirlWaterShaman, windchaser90, hey, Kai Sohma, Kanna, Holding on to Heart, Gia Kohana, Jaimee, kenni, mollykat, amberblood, EEevee, Fullma8712, Vi, Primeval Eidolon Scar, IluvsBakura, Lalaith Yamainu, and RhiannonLove**

Again, I've really enjoyed writing this story and am sad to see it come to an end. So now what? I figured it was only fair that I took some time to explain some of themes of this story for all of those who kindly took the time to read an review!

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_Some Thoughts on _Family Therapy…

To begin, I think the character of Kazuki (who is, as the narrator the springboard for many of the story's themes) can be understood in a number of ways. One way, as some of you implied, is to view him as a bit of an instrument for exploring and critiquing the rest of the Sohma Clan. With his allegiance to logic and reason, Kazuki can see, in a rather humorous way, just how nonsensical some of the other characters are. He also brings up important moral questions, especially in regards to prejudice. By doing so, Kazuki sheds a different light on his relatives actions, especially in regards to their baseless treatment of Kyou. Like in many cases of prejudice, the person or persons who are discriminated are dehumanized (in this incidence, Kyou is labeled "the cat"), and those who carry such a prejudice can simply not separate the individual from the stereotype he's been indoctrinated with (as shown in Yuki's repetitive reply of "because he's the cat"). As a result, Kazuki becomes the kind of character that the reader can relate to - a voice of reason and morality admist a sea of chaos and discrimination.

However, as others picked up on, Kazuki can be both "silly" and even "elitist." On the one hand, he is simply good-intentioned but misguided; at the other extreme, he is quite a bit of an elitist, particularly a western elitist, who thinks he knows better than everyone that he is unable to really ever see anything except from his point of view. Shigure would probably prescribe to the former, while Hatori and Yuki would argue the latter. As is such, this story can be seen as a critique on elistism in general. However, more specifically, it can also be seen as a critique of how the West, throughout history, simply believe that they are more "logical" and "reasonable" than those in the East, and, therefore, should attempt to change the East to fit into their ideals and images of what it means to be civilized (Kazuki experiencing almost his own form of "White man's burden" in this story). It is no coincident that Kazuki, although raised in Japan, is half American (or English/Australian) and has spent 8 years of his life studying in the quintessential "Western" nations of American and Britain (at Harvard and Oxford, respectively, which, admittedly, is also a personal shout out to one of my favorite shows, _Frasier_, with Frasier Crane having attended both institutes on his way to become a psychiatrist, as well) before returning to "save" his family. In addition, often, in his narrative, he expresses longing for the west over his life in the east. In this way, Kazuki represents a Western mentality (almost of an imperialistic nature), and it prevents him from being able to truly empathize with the other members of his family.

Granted, at the same time, we'd be hard pressed to say that everything Kazuki thinks, does, and says is wrong; surely, some of his theories make sense and are even applicable to the cursed Sohma clan. Moreover, as abovementioned, he can take on the role of moral compass when his other relatives are faltering due to their prejudices (although, due to his elitism, it can be said that he harbors his own prejudices toward his family). Yet, it's the way he's goes about approaching his family's troubles and his internal reasoning that might be what's problematic. Consequently, it can be said that, in the end, it becomes unclear whether Kazuki wants to "help" his family or "fix" his family, two very different concepts. What's more, he begrudges those who challenge him intellectually (Hatori, Yuki, Shigure, and even Akito), while favoring those who accept his academic superiority (Ayame, Kyou, Momiji). Ultimately, Kazuki thinks himself fundamentally as right and cannot understand how anyone else could possibly think differently.

Moreover, while Kazuki throughout the story undeniably and perhaps not incorrectly relates to Kyou, projecting himself and his experiences onto him, it can be argued that Kazuki is more similar to Akito in several ways; Shigure alludes to this in his final session. If Akito sees himself as the Old Testament God, as the end of the story concludes, then Kazuki unknowingly sees himself as Christ, the savior, from the New Testament, seeking, in a way, to "replace" the Old Testament God as Christ does. In both cases, the two are deluded, unable to see how their flaws prevent them from reaching anything beyond self-indulgence. However, despite this, each clings to these images of themselves because they want one thing: to be loved and accepted. Akito is desperate for love, but she thinks the only way she can ever get it is through being the uncompromising god of her cursed family, forcing those around her into submission for fear of being alone; hence, she admires Lum from Urusei Yatsura, for Lum is known to constantly electrocute her lecherous fiancée, Ataru, whenever he is unfaithful. Furthermore, she writes off Jesus as "stupid," because she simply can't understand how He is able to give those the free will to love Him and actually expect to receive it.

Meanwhile, Kazuki also is in search of love, or at least acceptance. As aforementioned, he relates to Kyou because he, too, feels that he has been ostracized by his family for something he had no control over (namely, being conceived and born out of wedlock). At the same time, although he never acknowledges it, Kazuki's case is not as bad as Kyou's; while Kyou is destined to be imprisoned from the age of 17 on, Kazuki, at that age, had more freedoms than many of his peers, traveling and studying on his own in American and Europe. More obviously, Kazuki does not turn into either a cat when hugged nor into a monster when not wearing a bracelet around his wrist. What's more, while perhaps some of his relatives look down at the circumstances of his birth, it is evident that he is able to socialize with his family with relative ease, especially when compared to Kyou, and that he has always been loved by his mother, Tomiko, something that Kyou never had. In the end, therefore, it can be argued that much of the supposed family disdain Kazuki perceives stems from his own contempt for his origin to the point of unconscious obsession at eradicating it because he fears everyone looks down on him. As a result, ever since a child, he was constantly trying to prove himself through scholarly achievement, and his mother's prophecy only served as a way for him to further work toward erasing his illegitimacy. Therefore, just like Akito, who can't understand how people can love or accept her unless she is an unmerciful god, Kazuki can't understand how people can love or accept him unless he saves the Sohma family from their curse. Hence, the two have established for themselves unattainable, inflated goals in order to compensate for their own personal insecurities that stem from childhood.

Additionally, from this, one can deduce that Kazuki is then just motivated by his selfish interests. He certainly sees things in an egocentric way; for instance, on a basic level, he is merely using Kyou as an instrument to really fight for himself. This is hinted from the very first session; in suggesting that Kyou goes and study abroad, he is merely pushing his own solution to his feelings of being outcasted onto Kyou without considering Kyou's personal situation (he is almost completed with high school at this point and has established relationships in Japan; it is quite presumption, therefore, to think that Kyou can simply turn his life upside down and relocate halfway across the world). Kyou thinks at first this is running away; Kazuki does not perceive it this way. In a way, though, Kyou's initial interpretation can be seen as the correct one; further separating one from one's family does not help rectify being ostracized nor bring about their acceptance. As the story progresses, Kazuki's defense for Kyou becomes more clearly a defense for himself. His hostility for Yuki shows this; while Yuki has many of his own troubling issues, Kazuki often loses sight of this and takes a more unprofessional approach, arguing on Kyou's behalf during their sessions. He does the same thing to Kagura.

In the end, though, Kazuki becomes so self-absorbed that he is ultimately unable to look at anything objectively, nor is he able to empathize with his patients; he is simply unable to truly identify with his relatives to the point where he needs to be prompted to even acknowledge their animal transformations (as it's easier to ignore this minor inconvenience while holding steadfast to notions of logic and reason). Hence, his practice was really about _fixing _his family for _his _benefit, not _helping _his family for _their _benefit. If the latter had been the case, he would, arguably, feel more sympathy for their plight and be sad that he was unable to help them improve their lives. However, his narrative offers little in ways of this, but supports the former point instead; every time one of his session fails to produce his desired results, he feels sorry for _himself_ and not for his patient, growing more cynical about them since they are not helping him reach his goal of saving them. For example, in the last interlude, Akito finally confesses that all she ever really wanted was to be loved, but Kazuki is too drunk due to his self-pity at this point that he simply scornfully laughs away the breakthrough. Consequently, Akito, after making herself momentarily vulnerable only to be rejected, resorts back to her comfort zone and takes on the persona of god once more. This ironic and tragic twist proves that Kazuki is incapable of breaking the curse. Too tangled up in his own mixed motivations, unmoving beliefs, and insecurities, Kazuki is missing the special kind of insight he needs to fully understand he deals with.

This paves the way for Tohru to ultimately be the catalyst that breaks the curse, as is the case by the end of the manga series; she teaches the Sohma family how to love, which, as Kazuki alluded to in the last Interlude, albeit sarcastically, was what the curse was really all about. Interestingly, when Kazuki meets Tohru he is originally disappointed. Yet it is the simplicity of Tohru that Kazuki looks down on that is part of the reason why she is so effective. Tohru is innately compelled to help people simply for the sake of helping them; often, she is not clouded by ulterior motives. Furthermore, Tohru, by not over thinking everything, is able to empathize with the other Sohmas, trying her best to understand their experiences. Additionally, Tohru is not so self-important to see herself as a "savior," unlike Kazuki, and it is not her actions alone that break the curse, although she does initiate the break in many ways; rather, she helps the Sohma family learn to help themselves (remember, although Tohru confesses her love first, it is Kyou at last accepting and reciprocating this love that ultimately breaks the curse). Lastly, while Kazuki and Akito seem to have emotionally closed themselves off from their family, unable to trust if they ever really love or accept them (including Kazuki in regards to his mother by the end), Tohru overcomes any doubts or insecurities she has and confesses her love for Kyou, who eventually, after some time, is able to do the same.

In the end, therefore, Tohru _cares _about the others, while Kazuki and Akito don't know how to care about their family. Even in regards to Kyou, Kazuki, as abovementioned, sees him more as a means to his own ends, even if this might be unintentional. In addition, Tohru's genuine affection also affects Akito in the manga to the point where she realizes that by living a life of kindness and principle (like, interestingly, Jesus), she will at last find the true love she's been seeking; Kazuki cannot offer Akito such an example, as he never shows or expresses any sort of love or affection for any of his family members, save his mother, and his kindness, as she suspects, is motivated by ulterior motives. Yet, even in the case of his mother, he says he "cares" about her, not "loves" her. Perhaps the difference between Kazuki and Tohru can best be understood as follows; Kazuki judges everyone around him, despite his arguments to the contrary, and Tohru simply does not. In other words, Tohru accepts people with their flaws, whereas Kazuki needs to change these flaws, including the ones he perceives in himself, before he can accept them. As a result, Kazuki is so critical that he cannot just accept people for who they are, including, subconsciously, himself. This makes it impossible for him, like Akito (who is too insecure and afraid of being abandon to make herself vulnerable through sincere affection), to develop any real relationships.

Furthermore, due to her simplicity perhaps, Tohru can more readily accept the curse. She even accepts Kyou's true form. Arguably, Kazuki accepts Kyou's true form too, but only because he sees it as a representation of his own hidden illegitimacy, as illustrated in his dream. Kazuki, for the most part, is obsessed with logic and reason being able to prevail. The question then becomes how useful reason really is. In some ways, reason is useful at breaking down the problems of the Sohma family, but as a psychiatrist, it is ironic that Kazuki cannot deal with any of the emotional components in any way that doesn't involve some sort of distanced rationalization. For instance, he reproaches Hatori for how he handled the incident with Kana, but fails to recognize the complex emotions Hatori must have experienced, feeling loyalty and love to two conflicting parties. In Kazuki's eyes, Hatori simply was being illogical, brainwashed into worshipping Akito; never once does he consider that Kazuki was facing an impossible choice between his devotion to Akito and his new found affection for Kana. What's more, his inability to really deal with the pressing issue of animal transformation shows that Kazuki is so dedicated to his belief in reason that he simply cannot accept what he cannot understand. Even when forced by Shigure to address how he'd break the physical zodiac curse, Kazuki approaches it as a logical and solvable mathematical equation instead of looking at _why_ the Sohma family was cursed based on the tale to begin with. In addition, to him, the curse is generally understood as nothing more than an excuse his relatives use for their problems instead of taking responsibility themselves or dealing with the actual issues at hand. However, to digress, for a moment, Kazuki is ultimately no better than they are; he ends up blaming his family, particularly Akito, for all his woes, symbolically referring to Akito as "the curse." To return to the initial point, though, Tohru, unlike Kazuki, can accept what she cannot logically understand and takes it in to understand on an emotionally level. Therefore, it can be said that while reason does have its place, one must also learn to acknowledge that which they cannot explain as well as the role of emotions in human situations.

Lastly, Akito and Kazuki's final session alludes to another important theme. In this session, they discuss the snow, which represents the own masks in which all the Sohmas carry. Kazuki, for instance, is constantly using his academic know how, western experiences, and his hope to save the Sohma family as all ways to cover his illegitimate origin. Kyou, too, is covering up his true form via his bracelet and his pain through aggression, while Yuki covers his insecurities through his happy façade. Shigure conceals his own intentions through a bubbly persona, Hatori remains stoic to mask any regrets he might have, and Kagura hides her true feelings of inadequacy by using her relationship with Kyou. And all of the jyuunishi must constantly hide from the rest of the world that they transform into animals for fear of rejection and disapproval. Yet, while Akito says she hates the snow, implying that it is because she finds disgust in the likes of Kazuki and Kyou, there is more to this hatred than just that; Akito hates it because she knows she herself is also hiding and that the image she created for herself isn't real although she wishes it were. Akito masks her gender and her insecurities by pretending to be a male god, but even she knows this is fleeting and is constantly afraid that when it fails her it will reveal a pathetic, lonely child. Hence, she remains frozen to true affection, making sure the snow that covers her never melts. Consequently, by presenting fronts to one another, the Sohmas never have the honesty they need to learn to overcome the misery and hatred of their curse; since they can't accept themselves, they can't accept one another.

Then what of Kazuki's hope? Often times, throughout the narrative, he gives this as his explanation for why he sticks around. Yet, this hope is that he might one day redeem himself more so than anything else; he clings to this hope throughout the story, because he cannot accept himself as he truly is. Similarly, Akito clings to the notion that she is a god, because she cannot accept herself as she truly is, either. In addition, Kazuki's hope also enforces the idea that he simply cannot accept that his western principles will fail, despite evidence to the contrary.

Despite my critique, I do not think Kazuki is a bad person – just flawed and complex. More often, at times throughout the narrative, Kazuki recognizes that he and his practice might be fundamentally flawed, although he never fully comes to terms to this, resorting to denial or feeling sorry for himself to avoid accepting this. In like fashion, I don't think Akito is a bad person, either, although I think she is guilty of many sins (I wasn't particularly pleased to do such a drastic 180 by the end of the Fruits Basket manga, but I think, overall, it makes sense, and I'm glad she has a happy ending where she comes to term with herself). This holds true for the rest of the Sohmas, as well. All the characters are very complex. And while this story might end on a depressing note, if you read or at least know how the manga ends, you'll realize that it's not as sad it looks on the surface. Plainly put, Kazuki perceives the results of his practice as sad because he doesn't know any better and is too involved to look at things objectively. To be honest, if Kazuki had broken the curse, it probably would be worse, because as Shigure said, it was not really the answer he was looking for. What Kazuki needs is to learn to accept himself for who he is, accept others for who they are (i.e. overcome his prejudices and elitism), and forget about trying to hide behind fancy degrees or to erase his flaws by being some kind of savior. As I said earlier, he's really a lot more like Akito than he realizes.

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And with that, I at last move this story from "In progress" to "Complete." ( - : 


	29. Follow Up

_A Follow-Up On Some Thoughts On _Family Therapy

Hi all! It's been awhile, hasn't it? I just wanted to clear up one point that had been mentioned to me by a few reviewers concerning Tohru's role with the Sohma family curse. When I argued that Tohru was the "catalyst" that breaks the Sohma family curse, I actually did not mean that she directly broke the curse; rather, I meant that that she was able to set off, or at least accelerate, a chain of events that would lead to the curse at last being broken. In other words, I found that her presence and involvement with the Sohmas helped Akito, Kyou, Yuki and the others grow and change for the better, which in turn allowed them to directly break the curse themselves. In my opinion, if the Sohma family did not need Tohru to positively influence them so they could at last break free of the zodiac curse, then her character would ultimately have no purpose in the story and the author probably wouldn't have included her, or at the very least, made her the protagonist. Thus, I believe Tohru's purpose in the story is to get the characters to grow and learn about acceptance (in fact, I would argue that the major theme of Fruits Basket is acceptance, as indicated even by the title), and by doing so, she is not breaking the curse for them, but instead, unwittingly teaching them about how they themselves can break free of the curse by learning to accept themselves and one another. Of course, this is just my interpretation of the manga series, but I tend to look at things from a more literary/symbolic perspective as opposed to a literal one. In any event, I'm sorry if I wasn't original clear in my analysis about my position on this. Again, thanks for reading and for reviewing!

(Also, I wanted to apologize to whoever sent me a private message some time ago; I did get it, but I have no idea how to respond to it, and now I can't even find it, so again, I'm so sorry, but thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and give me such a detailed response!).


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